John Oliver Takes On Sex Ed, Niall Horan Doesn’t Have Body For Nude Selfies, Jon Robin Baitz Defends “Stonewall”: MEME

Charlie Puth has gay couples at prom in "Marvin Gaye," Cher doesn't enjoy singing her old songs, Mechad Brooks doesn't care if you think Jimmy Olsen is white

Niall Horan
When he was asked if there were any nude selfies on his phone to be hacked, One Direction’s Niall Horan said he was safe in that regard. “Oh no, that is cringe. I definitely don’t have the body for nude seflies.” Dude, Five Seconds of Summer singers are posting Snapchats of their cocks, if you don’t get on the program, you may not reign as the supreme boyband much longer.

Google stunned pretty much everyone by becoming a wholly owned subsidiary yesterday. Granted, Alphabet is still run by Larry Page, and serves as an umbrella holding company for Google, their venture capital companies, and all their other projects. Nobody is quite sure why they did it, but there’s some speculation that if Europe tries to force a breakup of Google, this gives them natural lines to split the company, rather than having it forced on them.

Melissa Gilbert
Melissa Gilbert has announced that she’s running for Congress in Michigan. The Little House on the Prairie star wants to help bring a new economy to a state devastated by changes in the automobile industry. “I’m running for Congress to make life a little easier for all the families who feel they have fallen through the cracks in today’s economy. I believe building a new economy is a team effort, and we need to bring fresh voices to the table to get the job done.”

Gunnar Garfors of Norway has become the youngest person to visit all 198 countries in the world. He says he was helped by the five weeks of vacation they get every year, plus two weeks worth of national holidays. He’s not rich, either, just budgeted with an eye for travel, and a willingness to couch surf as he traveled. I envy the natural wanderlust found in Europeans. I’ve been all over the world, but mostly on business. Europeans seem willing to toss some clothes in a backpack and see the world.

Tyler Oakley
On August 21, James Corden will tape his show from YouTube Space in Los Angeles, and will be interviewing some of the biggest YouTube stars in the world, including Jenna Marbles, Tyler Oakley, Kandee Johnson, The Slo Mo Guys and the guys behind “Epic Rap Battles of History.”

An Alabama probate judge has filed a brief with the state Supreme Court demanding they issue a landmark ruling to overturn the decision for marriage equality from SCOTUS. Obviously, he knows nothing about the law, despite being a judge. If you’re wondering where he got such a bad education, he’s a graduate of Liberty University.

Mechad Brooks
Mehcad Brooks is aware that Jimmy Olsen is generally depicted as white, but he really doesn’t care if you think he can play the part. “If you have a problem with someone’s race or sex or sexual preference or anything else that differentiates them from you, that’s your problem. That mentality is either going to get fixed in your lifetime or you’ll have to die with that. The world is too small and life is too short to hold on to negativity that way. I hope people judge me on the content of my character — excuse the pun.”

Roger Ailes
Donald Trump’s week long war with Fox News has come to an end, as he announced that he had a phone call with Darth Vader himself, Roger Ailes, who assured him that his campaign will get fair treatment from the network.

Marvin Gaye III says that he’s suing Empire for ripping him off. He claims to have registered an idea with the Writers Guild of America back in 2010 for a music based, black version of The Sopranos meets Dynasty called Diamonds & Ballads, and Fox has ripped him off. If he spent half as much time actually creating art as he did suing peole who actually do create art, maybe he wouldn’t need money so much.

Jon Robin Baitz
Stonewall scribe Jon Robin Baitz is defending Stonewall’s representation of Facebook. He says that “I also have tremendous empathy for those who think they are being erased, removed and made once more invisible. I really do not think that’s what this movie is, and as I say below, I could be blind, because when you make a film, the chaos, the uncertainty, the conditions ‘on the ground’ can lead to a kind of ‘snow blindness’ to use an ironic phrase.”

He continues “But such an erasure would be heart breaking to me, as a man of principle, who tries to grow wiser and broader in my vision of what the world should be. The movie is about an awakening, one young man’s awakening to the reality of what it means to be ‘the other’. It is not the definitive story of a revolution; that film has yet to be made – but its a humanist’s dramatization of how the disenfranchised are empowered by rage, and it traces a point in an arc towards justice that began with the Mattachine Society, continued through the bravery of a group of psychiatrists who refused to accept the pathologizing of homosexuality, and continues today with the fight for marriage equality and is now starting to focus on trans rights.”

He also seems to hint that a trailer is just a trailer. “I stand before people who are angered by a film they have yet to see, and ask that their open hearts allow that the film be judged on its own merits, and not by the demands of a marketing department, because marketing is based entirely in fear, whereas art is based in rage and hope and fire. American film (sigh) somewhere in between – nervously shifting its weight between commerce and something greater, and stumbling all the time.”

Reports are coming out that the new iPhone will be announced September 6. Nobody is sure if Apple is going for the 7, or will stick with the “s” nomenclature they’ve favored. But rumors say that we shouldn’t expect a larger screen (thank God, I need a new iPhone, but I don’t want a phone I need a backpack to carry). Most of the rumored upgrades are in the camera, with a 12MP camera, and 4K video.

Not all journalists that visited Paisley Park were disappointed with Prince. The Purple one actually pulled out about ten journalists to have an hour long chat about the music industry, which he is not a fan of. “Record contracts are just like … I’m gonna say the word, slavery. I would tell any young artist … don’t sign.” He also touched on his religion, which has alienated some of his LGBT fans. He says that he’d never push his religion on anyone else, but thinks that everyone should have religion in their lives.

Cher gave a long interview about all of her music over the last 50 years, and it’s worth a read if you want to understand her discography. One thing I found interesting is that she doesn’t enjoy singing a lot of her old songs like “Gypsys, Tramps & Thieves.” in concert. “You know, I don’t love doing them myself. I love when Bob [Mackie, the fashion designer] makes me a great costume. [Laughs] And then, you know, everybody goes ’oooh’ and ’ahhh.’ And that’s fun for me to see… But I know people love them so much, that they don’t bother me. I actually never loved them that much when I recorded them.”

Besides Trump, the real winners of the Republican debate were Carly Fiorina and Ted Cruz, who surged to 11% and 13% in the polls the night after the debate. Trump still has a commanding lead with 23% of the votes of those polled.

Our thoughts are with the family and friends of dancer Jonathan Ollivier, who died in a motorcycle crash over the weekend. He is remembered as one of the most charismatic dancers of a generation and starred as The Swan in Matthew Bourne’s all male production of Swan Lake.

Until a coworker brought up Charlie Puth, I had no idea who he was, even with a chart topping single under his belt. But she said she loved “Marvin Gaye,” which also features Meghan Trainor. It’s a very 1960s song about teenagers having sex. I watched the video on my iPhone during lunch, and watched a huge gym full of horny teens become progressively more excited and making out and kept wondering “Seriously, it’s 2015 and they’re all straight?” A crowd scene made it tough to pick out the gays, until 2:39, when the camera zooms in on two girls about to kiss, and then pans to the back of the stage with a couple a guys making out. So yes, the video is gay inclusive, and has been out since April 1, and we didn’t notice. More people are going to notice as the song climbs, as it’s jumped to 36 on the Billboard charts.

Uber and Tinder are easily the most talked about apps for phones these days. One gets you places, and one helps you get some. Or something. I’ve yet to meet anyone using Tinder. What if you combined the two? You could have a date while getting a ride. Even have boxed wine, because hell, who cares about drinking and driving. Plus, you can be like horny teenagers and have car sex. Just don’t get too greedy for new fares.

On Last Week Tonight with Jon Oliver, he took on the shameful state of sex education in the United States, which is virtually non-existent. It’s only required in 22 states, and only 13 require it to be medically accurate. Eight states require anything said about being gay to be negative. And those films they show are a mess. Thankfully, he enlisted folks like Laverne Cox, Megan Mulally, Jack McBrier and more to give a modern, accurate sex education film.

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