In the U.S., media coverage of trans and gender non-conforming people is sparse to say the least. When we’re spoken about it’s usually because somebody in our community was killed or committed suicide.

Sometimes there will be coverage of trans women being harassed in men's detention centers or migrant trans women seeking political asylum but their is seldom celebration for our accomplishments, our joys.

Related: Sting’s Adult Child, Eliot Sumner, Comes Out As Genderfluid

The lives of trans and gender non-confirming people are so much more complex than the violences which are committed to us; than the violences that our lives are thrust into because of transphobia, racism, classism.

The lives of trans and gender non-conforming people contain love and laughter and passion and resistance and complexity. I want to celebrate the tone in my sister’s voice when she tells me about her new hair, her new boyfriend, her new photography project. I want to talk about the evenings, sitting over coffee in the living room with my sisters talking about healing and community and revolution. I want to write an article about the Brooklyn house parties filled with nothing but trans and gender non-conforming people of color who love and celebrate each other, drunk and dancing until six in the morning.

In her 2009 Ted Talk, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie spoke about the dangers of presenting a single story. Trans and gender non-conforming people are not a single story. We are not defined by our relationship to violence, we are so much larger than that. Thus, this article is an attempt to celebrate the vibrancy of trans and gender non conforming lives and legacies.

Here are ten reasons why I love being gender non-conforming.

1. My community is resilient as f*ck.

I constantly find inspiration in my friends who walk with me at #BlackLivesMatter protests, who organize around immigrant detention facilities, who have turned their rage into a fight for social justice. I’m thankful for the chance to be alive with so many passionate, intelligent, resilient people.

2. My wardrobe is not limited to only half of the shopping store.

I don’t see the men’s and women’s section when shopping. I just see possibilities. Sometimes I encounter people who don’t see those possibilities and try to direct me to another fitting room or section of the store. But I always let them know, YES THAT THONG IS FOR ME!

3. People always compliment my beauty.

Yes, there is street harassment for trans and gender non-conforming people. There is also a lot of affirmation that I’ve encountered. Random people will genuinely compliment my looks, my bravery, my personality. Sometimes I find strength in the kindness from strangers.

4. I create my own culture, my own future.

There are no guidelines for what my gender will look like in the next decade. I may look more like a cis-boy or I may look more like a binary trans-woman or I may I continue to mix and match my clothing. My gender will fluctuate and change, it’s exciting. The only constant in my gender is its resistance.

5. Sylvia Rivera is my mother, Marsha P Johnson is my auntie.

Many trans and gender non-conforming people lack familial and community support, lack role models or representation in media. We often create our own families from the trans and gender non-conforming people who have preceded us. My mother and auntie are two legendary trans women of color, Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson, who were pivotal in starting the Stonewall Riots.

6. I’ve learned confidence and self defense.

I’ve learned how to walk outside and not care about the naivety of others. I have confidence in my decisions and my appearance. When you’re gender non-conforming you need to learn how to ignore and fight off all the haters.

7. I’ve become the most honest version of myself that I can be.

I came out as genderfluid, then gender non-conforming. Over the years I’ve learned new words to describe my reality, my relationship to gender. I keep looking into myself and learning about myself and letting the world know about the possibilities that I see for my existence. Yes, I can become whatever I want to become (in my gender or otherwise).

8. I’m not fearless but I’m brave.

Sometimes I’m too afraid to present outside the binary in public. As of now, there have been 21 trans women of color murdered in the US this year. When I walk outside of the house in a red dress with beard stubble, I’m brave and worthy of love. All trans and gender non-conforming people are brave and worthy of love.

9. I have an understanding of desirability.

I have found beauty is so many different aspects of my partners. My partners are never reduced to merely their genitals and proximity to euro-centric notions of beauty. I have committed myself to unlearning transphobia, anti-blackness, fatphobia, ableism.

10. I get to write articles like this.

Whenever I get to write about my truths, my life, I am opening possibilities for other people to exist in. I’m thankful for being gender non-conforming because in living my truth, I have been able to help other people find their truths too.

Christopher Soto is a punk poet & prison abolitionist. To learn more, click here.