10 Things That Are Definitely, 100% Bisexual Culture

Back on my bi bullshit.

As a person whose livelihood requires me to be on the internet, I occasionally get swept up in the firestorm of whining and opining that is Twitter dot com. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Perhaps you even follow me, a consummate professional whose cover photo is absolutely not a Queer Eye screengrab?

If not, don’t fret; you’re not missing much. In my four-ish years as an active Twitter user, I’ve only had one tweet that has reached anything close to relevancy. It was a checklist of things every card-carrying bisexual should have at all times:

Because I’m a caricature of myself, I’ve decided to elaborate on my 15 minutes of fame said list. Enjoy.

  1. Brendon Urie of Panic! At the Disco

    Alberto Pezzali/NurPhoto via Getty Images

    I’m cheating a bit here since I mentioned my enduring pop-punk phase in the original tweet, but Brendon Urie, Pansexual Icon of My Heart, deserves a bullet point all his own. Did the Panic! frontman singlehandedly invent sexual fluidity? No, but don’t tell his stans that (and please, do yourself a favor and give “Girls/Girls/Boys” a listen.)

  2. Magic

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    Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters and The Mortal Instruments? Ambrose Spellman (who’s pansexual, but humor me) from The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina? Klaus Hargreeves from The Umbrella Academy? Do I need to spell it out for you mere mortals?! Magic is bi culture, confirmed.

  3. Cuffed jeans (and exposed ankles) at inappropriate times

    Because sub-zero temps and a 10% possibility of precipitation is definitely the ideal time for short socks and ankle boots.

  4. Hating yourself for inexplicably being attracted to men

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    This made me laugh today. #bisexualmemes

    A post shared by Natalie F (@motherfireflyyy) on

    This is the ultimate form of solidarity between bisexual men, women, and non-binary folks, because if there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that men are trash.

  5. A tough exterior (to hide those messy feelings)

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    Yes, your therapist is right: No amount of facial piercings, badass tattoos, or self-deprecating jokes can actually rid you of your anxieties or force you to confront your demons. But damn if it isn’t worth a shot.

  6. Questionable taste in outwear

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    Are you perpetually cosplaying as a die-hard skier in the Swiss Alps? Do you have a closet full of leather outwear you can’t totally justify owning? Do you occasionally layer jackets upon jackets upon jackets? I hate to break it to you, my friend, but you might be bisexual.

  7. Panicking

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    Meet Bisexual Panic, the lesser-known but equally devastating counterpart to Gay Fear.

  8. Feeling perpetually misunderstood by all audiences

  9. Two words: Power. Suits.

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    It’s been scientifically proven that every human on the face of the Earth absolutely slays in a well-tailored power suit. Need evidence? Examples here, here, and here.

  10. The Bisexual Bob™

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    For all my fellow bi gals and non-binary pals, may I introduce you to the bisexual bob. I didn’t coin the phrase, nor did I originate or even sport the haircut, but Riese Bernard penned an epic piece for Autostraddle breaking down the haircut’s origins.

Brooklyn-based writer and editor. Probably drinking iced coffee or getting tattooed.
@slmjournalist