If you go to the gym, whether to get jacked or simply socialize, you’ve probably noticed the same kinds of characters keep popping up—on the treadmill, by the water fountain, in the locker room—whether you work out at Equinox or some dingy hole in the wall. Below, we review the 12 types of guys we all seen at the gym at one time or another.
The guy who’s, like, ALWAYS there
He’s friends with all the trainers. He’s always there, even when you go at off-peak hours just to not see him. But he wants nothing to do with you.
The guy blow-drying his pubes in the locker room
As if he’s home alone prepping for a big date, this guy rolls up to the bathroom mirror–butt ass naked–and proceeds to blow dry his bush in an act of WTF.
The guy who hits Grindr between every set
Even more awkward is the lengths he’ll go to mask the all-too-familiar orange screen from plain sight.
The dancing treadmill guy
Granted, if there’s one place to really get into the groove it’s the gym. This guy, however, takes it to an extreme, between the head banging, the finger drumming, and the occasional bursting into song.
The shredded older guy
It’s easy to count him out, but this guy will crush you.
The steam-room cruiser
You’ve met him. (heck, maybe you’ve been him.) He sits legs-a-spread, lingering silently like a spider waiting for its prey to get caught in its web.
The guy just chillin’ in the locker room
He’s there when you arrive and still there an hour later when you’re leaving—still making that protein shake or slowly packing up his stuff. Did he fall asleep sitting up?
The abnormally sweaty guy
Whether its that pungent smell in the air or the pool of perspiration he leaves behind on the machines, Extremely Sweaty Guy is a gym staple.
The “spot me, brah,” guy
Beware his lure: Though the chance to dangle yours balls in his face is tempting, if he slips and crushes his windpipe, it’s on you. Brah.
The guy rocking a “look”
He rocks matching Y3 shirt, socks and sweatband, and brings his own Alexander Wang towel to the gym. He’s got a different pair of neon Nike running shoes every day of the week. He’s horrible.
The weight tosser
He gives no fucks for you or your safety. And don’t even bother throwing him shade—he’s far too deep in his own workout wonderland to notice.
The guy with no shoes
Put some shoes on, guy. Come on.