You’d be hard pressed to find a pop star these days without a major motion picture, but in the late ’90s, the Spice Girls were one of the only acts with a unique global fan base that demanded one.
The resulting Spice World was incredible – five out of five peace signs! – but it made absolutely no sense because it didn’t need to. The Spice Girls WERE the plot.
Below, the 13 most ridiculous things from the film that defy explanation. Catch them all (plus so many more) when Spice World airs on Cocktails and Classics this Friday, July 8 at 6/7c and 9/8c on Logo at 8/7c.
The Spice Bus
It may look like a normal bus from the outside, but it’s a magical expanding fairy tale land on the inside, complete with a full runway for Posh, a swing for Baby, a large cylindrical fish tank for Scary, and even a balcony for Clifford.
The “Mama” flash-forward
The girls see themselves aged with children in one of Spice World’s many dream sequences. The assumption they’ll all be haggard and broken down by 40 is bizarre, but at least Posh nailed her character: “Thank god for boarding school,” she says. “I only see [my kids] once a month.”
It rained inside
Kevin McMaxford, the unstable newspaper editor, conjures a literal storm in his office while cooking up a plan to sell papers with the Spice Girls’ demise.
The random celebrity cameos
The Spice World cast includes Meat Loaf, Richard E. Grant, Sir Roger Moore, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Hugh Laurie, Bob Hoskins, and Alan Cumming, who plays a documentarian who manages to get like two seconds of good footage throughout the film.
The girls did Spice drag
Mel B, Mel C, Victoria, Emma, and Geri try to shake their stereotypes by doing their best Spice Girls drag and performing some shady impersonations of each other.
The male dancers
One of the film’s special bonus track moments, featuring the girls’ cover of Gary Glitter’s “Leader of the Gang,” was chock full of beefy male dancers.
The close encounter/alien abduction
The Spice Girls are talented but did you know they are fluent in alien? Good thing, because the aliens who momentarily abduct them are huge fans and would like a picture.
A paparazzo climbed out of the toilet
The scene that scarred everyone.
The boat ride
The girls’ idea of “being spontaneous” includes jumping in the first boat they see on the River Thames. Unfortunately, that boat had a sucky driver who swerved and chucked half of them into the water as they bopped to Millie Small’s “My Boy Lollipop.”
Posh went swimming in her little Gucci dress
Can you imagine what Victoria would say if asked to do this in 2016?
Nicola’s night out
The girls took their girlfriend Nicola out to party it up and “go mental” at a nightclub, even though she is nine months pregnant and overdue. Who would’ve guessed she goes into labor?!
Geri brought a boy out of a coma
While at the hospital, a couple asks Mel C, Geri, and Victoria to comfort their comatose son. It only takes one mention of Geri’s breasts to jerk his eyes open.
The race to Royal Albert Hall
Victoria maniacally guides the Spice Bus through London traffic in Spice World’s climactic finale. She launches the bus across the raised Tower Bridge and manages to land safely, though she picks up a ticket for “flying a bus without a license” when it’s over.