Stephen Colbert: "There Is No Shame in Being a Genetic Dead-end."

-- Lyle Masaki from AfterElton.com

Stephen Colbert appeared on NPR's Fresh Air yesterday to discuss his new book, I Am America and So Can You. Right off the bat host Teri Gross asked him to read from a chapter in the book titled "Homosexuality" which offered an unsurprisingly hysterical sendup of anti-gay bigotry:

Where did all these "the gays" come from? Well, there are those who argue that some are born gay, but this is silly because we're made in God's image. So if someone were born gay, that would mean God is part gay and he is definitely not. He is 100% hetero. God is all man.

Now, the man-huggers out there are saying "Mary, please, what about the Iraq war? Surely that's a bigger threat than gay marriage." Yes, Iraq is the central front on the war on terror and we're fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them here but consider this -- who other than terrorists wants to destroy our way of life? The gays. Allowing them to marry will be like strapping on a suicide vest with a matching cummerbund.

When I married my wife she became Mrs. Stephen Colbert. Likewise, I became Mr. Stephen Colbert. We went from being two autonomous individuals to a team who's sole focus was winning the game of life. By winning, of course, I mean procreation. And we have won. We have procreated. And I mean no disrespect to those readers who have not had children. There is no shame in being a genetic dead end.

Man-huggers. I have got to start working that into my daily conversations.

It sounds like I Am America and So Can You will work as a perfect companion piece to The Colbert Report, parodying books written by anchorpundits the same way the Report mocks news programs hosted by the same "high status idiots" -- such as Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity, who Colbert describes to Gross as having a "bullet-headed incuriosity". (Colbert also mentions Anderson Cooper and his "slickness" as a model for the "Stephen Colbert" character -- do you see the influence or do you think Colbert named Cooper just to have an example who wasn't a Fox News conservative?) 

Gross also brought up Colbert's two Emmy losses to Barry Manilow and Tony Bennett. Colbert responded, "I think my real enemy is the great American songbook. I'm really most upset at Ira Gershwin and Irving Berlin ... they're the ones putting words in the mouth of these people." Colbert also discusses religion and how he discusses God and Hell to his children impressively.

This was one of Gross' sharper interviews, and it's clear she's a regular Colbert Report viewer and a fan. You can stream the interview. (Wait until you hear about the actual painkiller medication Colbert was prescribed for his wrist injury.)