The Many Closets of Hollywood...Just Come Out!

Today is National Coming Out Day, and a big congrats to everyone out there, and you handful of celebrities, who've got the courage to be out 'n proud. Well...maybe I should actually thank the celebrities who aren't out of their various closets, because that way we can all continue to make fun of them. Admitting something kind of makes it your own, after all.

And since I can't actually urge celebrities to come out who I (and the rest of the world) believe are closeted about their sexualities, I'm going to broaden the "closet" term to include any sort of Hollywood denial. And boy, are there are a lot of closets in Hollywood...so let's take a look back at this wonderful year. (And no Britney, I promise.)

I should say, my list of closets does contain some celebrities who have "come out;"  but at one point, they all  went with, "deny, deny, deny." So here goes....

The "Pregnancy" Closet
Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Nicole Richie

I read that USWeekly's upcoming issue features J.Lo on the cover with a big ol' She's Pregnant headline, so it looks like she's on her way out, but she has kept her mouth shut. Now I don't really understand the point in keeping this a secret; J. Lo's turned over a new leaf about the press and her personal life and everything, but there's nothing wrong with it and people are going to find out eventually, right?

And with Nicole Richie...considering how much she and Joel gushed to Diane Sawyer about their pregnancy, part of me wonders if they just held out to create some buzz.

The rest of the closets...and the big outers of the year...after the jump!

The "Incriminating Picture" Closet
Vanessa Minnillo (twice), Chris Crocker

Oh yes, this picture - probably one of my favorite moments in celebrity gossip this year - and Vanessa eventually did admit this was her "playing" with knives at 5 a.m. with Lindsay Lohan (how many people can say they've done that?). I remember back when the picture came out and no one recognized "good girl" Vanessa, but someone caught on...and she got outed!

And then there were those pictures of her and Nick Lachey in a hot tub enjoying each other's company (my personal favorite was the one in which you could just see Vanessa's foot)...but, those didn't last too long in the Internet world.

And Chris Crocker, a.k.a. Leave Britney Alone!, posted himself some nudie pics (I believe it was on Manhunt); he denied the pictures were of him, but later confessed and attributed the posting to being bored in a small town. They're not really available anymore (and who would want to see them?), as Chris was underage at the time.

I have to give a pat on the back to little Vanessa Hudgens for promptly 'fessing up to her nude pics. Hey, I might have believed they were photoshopped if she had vehemently denied they were her, but Vanessa confessed early on, apologized...and went back to making that smug face on every red carpet. Good for you, V.

The "Plastic Surgery" Closet
Heidi Montag, Ashlee Simpson

Heidi Montag of The Hills never outright denied getting a blatant boob and a nose job (and she's since given a tell-all to USWeekly about it), but for a while there, she refused to confirm the surgery. I don't even know what to say...was there ever even a point in denying it, Heidi? We all saw The Hills Seasons 1 and 2, and even I know girls who look like you don't have boobs like...those.

And then there's Ashlee - who just won't go on record about that nose (possibly-more) job she got in 2006. Recently, though - Joe Simpson admitted she underwent rhinoplasty. Whoops!

The "Dating" Closet
Jake and Reese

I love these two (as does everyone else), and I have to respect their decision to remain private, since they're actually professionals and are actually consistent about it. But come on, everyone did know they were dating, and any paparazzi would have sold his soul for a picture of the two of them even holding hands. But I don't know - they would still disagree, for the record.

The "Drug-Use Closet"
Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay recently left rehab for the...I-don't-know-how-many-ith time...and has admitted to substance abuse and "hitting rock bottom." However, earlier this year, she was just full of hilarious excuses. In July, she told Access Hollywood "I did not do drugs. They are not mine," in reference to cocaine police found on her. She also told Entertainment Tonight she was wearing someone else's pants when police arrested her and found coke in her pocket. There are more, but you get the idea.

Also...Paris told Larry King that not only does she not do drugs, but that she has never done drugs. Paris - who told you to insult America's intelligence like that?

And finally...a special nod to some Big Outers
Paris Hilton, Papa Simpson

Just because I think these are funny...At the VMAs in September, Paris Hilton grabbed a microphone at a Las Vegas club and congratulated Christina Aguilera for being "the most beautiful pregnant person in the world," even though, as we know, Christina has never admitted she's pregnant. Thanks, friend.

And, as mentioned before, Joe Simpson totally messed up his daughter's year-long efforts to keep her plastic surgery a secret. He told Fox News, "Girls have their own ideas. Anyway, there was a real problem with her breathing and that was cured."

Keep at it, you two!

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