Pro-Gay and Just Gay Moments in America's Next Top Model History

First off, I'm calling out Cycle 9 of America's Next Top Model (you know the finale airs tonight, right?) for not being gay enough. This is not the show I signed up for! Tyra, what are you doing? The Jays are not enough!

OK, Cycle 9-not-included (this shot is from the previous season), it's safe to say, where there's Top Model, there's gay-ness...from photo shoots, to cameos, to panel, to the girls themselves...and as nuts as Tyra is, I love her for bringing gays to such a wide audience (and not I'm not just talking about making Miss Jay a judge, 'cause you know no one else wanted that to happen).

So, let's take a look back (yup, I go all the way back to Season 1; I'm a Top Model expert - heeey) at some of the gayest moments in a very gay show, starting with...

Tyra Making the Girls Dress in Drag in Many Photo Shoots

Remember Jael? Yeah, that's her in the couples cross-dressing photo shoot from Cycle 8. Jael is a lesbian (it never came up, although that's by no means a shocker), but every single girl had to go male and pose with a professional drag queen. The drag queens consistently did better than the actual contestants (another shocker)!

And then there was the celebrity couples shot from Cycle 7; that's CariDee as Brad Pitt and runner-up Melrose as Donald Trump. For these challenges, the judges praised the girls for looking and acting as masculine as possible. You go with your positive portrayals of varied gender expression, Tyra! And how about this magical moment? Natasha learning how to play it gangsta'...

 

Those Girls Who Looked Like Drag Queens, Even When They Weren't Supposed To

OK, this one is more a matter-of-opinion (not with Jaslene), but some of these girls just looked like straight-up drag queens, and you know it's true!

Judge and "Noted Fashion Photographer" Nigel Barker would, from time to time, compliment a girl on having a face that could "handle" a lot of makeup, while others (he called out CariDee on this one), just ended up looking "drag-ish." Ahem.

When choosing facets of her personality for a photo shoot, I have to wonder if Cycle 8 winner Jaslene would have put "drag queen" in her Top 4. Well, she should have, 'cause Jas needs to embrace how much her presence up-ed the show's gay-ness. She only parties at gay bars.

But as far as just looks, I thought CariDee could man it up even more than Jas could.

Coryn! Cycle 5? The one who called Lisa an "alcoholic bitch?" Yes, besides that lovely contribution to Top Model history, Coryn looked like a man in a wig in every single picture! Not that that's a bad thing (necessarily), but she did, yo!

The Openly-Gay Contestants (Although We Didn't Know About All of Them)

I loved Kim from Cycle 5. I wanted to be her best friend. She was clearly much smarter than the girls who come on this show ever are...but I'm not bitter she didn't win or anything. She's a VJ at MTV or something now. (I'm not done with her, don't worry.)

Next up, Ebony, the lesbian from Cycle 1 who made the always-awful decision to do a rap in confessional: "We're black! We're women! I'm a lesbian; she's voluptuous!" Although, I bet crazy-ass Bible-thumper Robin (god, I hated her) wished she didn't get in confessional with you, Ebony!

Even though Ebony sucked as a model, I felt for her when she brought her girlfriend to the house one episode, and outrageously enough, two of the contestants had serious problems with it. Ebony later claimed she had some secret about her time on the show she will only make public if she appears on Oprah - which will never happen. You know it's gay-related...come on, Ebony! This better not be just a drunken make out, 'cause those are pretty standard fare on Top Model these days.

I hesitate to include Michelle: A). She was annoying. B). She was only bisexual. Ugh. C). She recently married a dude. Sell out!

And there were a few lesbians we didn't even know about! Remember that girl Megan who was in a plane crash? Total lesbian! And Leslie from Cycle 7? Goes both ways. Who knew?

Oh, wait. And the gay twin! She was fierce, but I wonder if the gay-thing stuck with her (she was always fake-crying and saying she didn't know what she wanted, after all).

Miss Jay, In General

I'm actually not a fan of Miss Jay's - only because she's not funny and never gives useful criticism. Other than that, I'm glad she's there! Well, I'm glad she's there minus that stupid elimination-12-Days-of-Christmas-flowers, increasing- ruffles, expanding-afro thing she decided to start doing somewhere around Cycle 7. The sh*t's not funny, Miss Jay! Who thinks it's funny? Tyra? Oh, wait. She's the only reason she's on panel. Ha!

And Mr. Jay deserves an honorable mention here. Anyone else jump for joy when Jay talks sh*t with the girls about their fellow contestants? He loves the gossip and always has a full-face of makeup on. Hey, that's totally gay!

A Healthy Amount of Girl-on-Girl Action

What a magical moment...a tad awkward for Kim, though, who said she's actually quite accustomed to straight - "straight" - girls developing crushes on her. And Little Miss Sarah even had a boyfriend during filming...I wonder how he felt about this drunken make out when it aired (his reaction could never top Shandi's boyfriend's, though).

In a post-show interview, Cycle 5's Bre said more girls than those two drunkards were making out in that van that night. Why didn't we see this? What were you thinking, UPN/The CW?

And let's talk about the hot tub scene from Cycle 2 that led to Shandi making the sexy (but poor) decisions I just referenced. Mercedes also said everyone was making out in that hot tub i.e. everyone. Again - why do you people edit these things out? (I actually think this particular decision had something to do with Janet Jackson's nipple.)

Well, this wasn't exactly girl-on-girl. But Season 1's Adrianne and Elyse did share a tender, naked moment in the same bed in Paris. Aw! That totally counts.

Tyra Educating Ignorant Girls on Gay-ness

I couldn't find a picture of her, nor do I remember her name, but I can't tell you how much that stupid girl from the Cycle 6 auditions enraged me with her self-righteous bigotry. She may have been acting that way for airtime, but thank god Tyra and Miss J were there to inform her every designer, hair and make-up person in the fashion is world is GAY (snap!). Now why didn't those two idiots from Cycle 1 get a similar speech?

Another good moment in Tyra-dom? Kyle from Cycle 6 said Kim was the first lesbian she ever met - to which Tyra responded, "You have, you just don’t know that they were." Snaps, Ty-Ty!

Power-Gay Cameos!

The House of Aviance, a major player in the NYC gay club scene, got some representation thanks to an appearance by Kevin Aviance on Cycle 2. I'm sure the girls didn't know who he was, but exposure is exposure.

And remember when Simon Doonan from Barney's made that girl who totally sucked from Cycle 2 cry when he told her she looked like a hooker? That was great.

 

But those were only a few of many power-gay appearances in ANTM history - and you know those gays proved they could work it like those little girls could only dream of doing. Put 'em in their place.

So yeah, there was James St. James in Cycle 7, Derek Khan in Cycle 1, Richie Rich and Traver Rains of Heatherette in Cycle 3...so many! And don't forget "Posing Expert" Benny Ninja of The House of Ninja making his "arrests"...

Girl-on-Girl Photo Shoots

I couldn't find a picture of the prime example of this, but a lot of the photo shoots required getting quite close with your fellow competitor - and ain't nothin' wrong with that! By the way, the picture I'm referring to is from Cycle 2, in which the final four had to pair off and caress each other totally nakie. That was hot, y'all!

And the pic below from Cycle 5 wasn't exactly sexy, but hey - those girls did have to cram into the phone booth together wearing next-to-nothing. No word on the mystery of who farted. (Yes. Kim's was the best.)

Whew! Although I consider myself Top Model-savvy, I'm sure I left some gay moments out, because, let's face it, there have been so many!

Let me know if I did - and enjoy the Cycle 9 finale! Don't feel bad; maybe one of them will come out...?

Comments

[Donny B]

Jaslene DID choose 'drag queen' for one of her personality characteristics for that photo shoot. Hence...that picture that you used.

I thought you were an expert? :)

But nice round-up! I forgot just how much gay culture and personalities Tyra has shoven in front of those girls...and us.

[Me]

nice post!

But my gosh you've got to remember your facts - You got most of the cycles of the girls wrong.

[50 ft queenie]

Careful, your biases are showing.

Michelle doesn't count because she's "only bisexual"? And she "sold out" because she married a man.

To quote the lapel pin I wear on my biker jacket, "Bi-phobia is SO 80's!"

[Sanjay]

These are all nice picture And she sold out because she married a man .

[Colin]

50 Ft. Queenie,

You make a good point ... sometimes I do get a little, 'Either you're one of us, or you need to get out' - and I know it's not fair to a lot of people whose sexualities really are just fluid.

But where did you find that lapel pin? Haha

[Kathy]

Actually, it was Lisa who farted in the phone booth shot. Who else would be that gross? Still love her, though.