24 Times Drag Queens Perfectly Described How High You Are

It’s 4/20, the High Holiday for those who get high. And while we’d never encourage the use of illicit substances, you all live in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, Washington state or DC, right?

So in the spirit of the day, we’re recounting two dozen times the queens of RuPaul’s Drag Race perfectly described how blazed you are.

Grab your Cheetos, pop a squat and chill.

1. The “Paranoid As F*ck” High

   

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   No one’s coming for you, girl. Be cool.

2. The “Confused By Everything” High

   

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   “How long have you guys been here? The whole time?!”

3. When The High First Kicks In

   

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   “I don’t think I feel anyth——oh girl I better sit down.”

4. The Hungry High

   

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   Sashay away. To the fridge. Again.

5. When The High Gives You Life

   

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   From zero to “Party!” in one puff.

6. The “Waaaay Too High” High

   

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   Probably should have stopped after that fourth brownie.

7. The Giggly High

   

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   “HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA…wait what were we laughing about?”

8. The Deep Thoughts High

   

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   That moment when you start figuring out life.

9. When The High Makes Every Song Sound Amazing

   

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   You. Betta. Twerk.

10. When You Just Got High And Then Remember You’re Supposed To Be Somewhere

    

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    “What? No, of course I remembered grandma’s birthday party. I’m definitely on the way.”

11. The Cotton Mouth High

    

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    C’MON HYDRATION!

12. The Forgetful High

    

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    “What did I come into the kitchen for? What was I saying? Where am I?”

13. When You’re Not As High As Your Friends

    

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    “What are you even laughing at girl? The TV is over there.”

14. When You Have The Green, But No Bowl

    

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    An apple a day…gives you 365 bongs a year.

15. When You Try To Act Sober In Public

    

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    You think you’re keepin it real cool. Spoiler alert, girl: You’re not.

16. The Full Body High

    

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    Indica? In da couch!

17. The Super Chill High

    

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    “I’m feeling very fla-say-dah right now.”

18. The “Seeing Double” High

    

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    “Am I just really stoned, or are there two of you?”

19. The Lazy High

    

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    “I death dropped and I can’t get up…..siiiiigh.”

20. The “Oblivious To Everything Around You” High

    

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    “I missed an earthquake? Girl, I was too busy thinking about that chocolate chip cookie dough in the fridge.”

21. When You Pass A Cop While You’re High

    

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    Good luck. And don’t f*ck it up.

22. When You’re So High You Forgot The Bowl

    

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    Gurl, I think you’re just smoking air at this point.

23. When The High Takes Over Your Whole Body

    

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    “Can somebody please call a doctor? I’m definitely dying.”

24. When You’re Coming Back Down

    

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    “Keep talking. I’m listening. I just can’t have my eyes open.”

RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9 airs Fridays at 8/7c on VH1.