I love a good drag name because it shows that the drag queen cares enough to label herself with style. In honor of that very specialized art, I have compiled the 250 very best drag names of all time (including a huge grouping that I made up myself.) Let me start by including the marvelous monikers of some real-life queens:
Carlos the Uber Driver
Jenny from the Cock
Lois Common Denominator
Sutton Lee Seymour
And of course let’s add Drag Race faves Sharon Needles, Courtney Act, Mimi Imfurst, Kim Chi, and Farrah Moan. I’m also including Rachel Tensions (RuPaul’s character in the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar), and Marsha Dimes, Bertha Venation, Virginia Ham, Claire Voyant, and Bang Bang La Desh, which are names dropped in the original play Torch Song Trilogy. Let me also include Olive Theotherreindeer (mentioned in the film Anna and the Apocalypse, but not as a drag name), and Shirley U. Jest and Tess Testosterone (both conjured up in a novel I wrote ages ago).
But some people just don’t have a knack for coming up with great drag names. Queens are always saying well-meaning things like, “I just thought up a hilarious drag name: Potato Soup!” But that ain’t funny, honey. If Potato was an actual woman’s name, it would surely be better, but as is, it’s just weird, not clever. If you want a food name, then the aforementioned Kim Chi works because Kim is already a woman’s name. Get it? Got it? Good. But sorry, that one’s already taken.
Anyway, here’s a whole bunch more of the best drag names—which I invented with my incredible little drag queen mind. Play safely with them.
Cher D. Wealth
Deniece N. Denephew
Ella Ella Ella
Frances N. Trouble
Ivana B. Alone
Marina Del Ray
Olivia Neutron Bomb
Penny Alla Vodka
Reese S. Pieces
And before you start tucking, here’s more! Several years ago, a well-versed drag queen on the scene told me the following drag names:
Ann T. Christ
Sue E. Sidle
Okay! And I even gave you eight extra ones! Surely you can pluck a name out of all those genius ideas and become a star. And for the record, I am now officially Maura DeSame…so get your own drag name!
One Sings, the Other Sings, Too
Meanwhile, some of these drag queens don’t only get laughs when they introduce themselves, they can tickle you with actual stage work too. Jackie Cox and the aforementioned Chelsea Piers are plumbing the ‘90s memory banks for a fun Jackie and Chelsea’s High School Reunion show that’s a sort of drag Romy and Michelle, with scattered references to Beyoncé and Michelle!
In the romp at the Laurie Beechman Theatre, the two drag queens travel to their high school reunion, while doing flawlessly choreographed cover songs (think Madonna, Shania, Alanis, and RuPaul), deciding along the way that, in order to impress their old pals, they’re going to pretend to be serious businesswomen who invented Instagram. But the school’s bitchy Heathers (played on video by drag trio Stephanie’s Child) bust them, leading to a defiant and proud conclusion, as Jackie and Chelsea realize they’re fine as they are—though that’s not actually the end. The show keeps topping itself, and the two tireless gals are delectable—they sing live from start to finish, by the way—so let me urge you to fuck me gently with a chainsaw if you don’t see it.
I also caught Badassy, the guffaw-inducing show by the comedy trio Unitard, at Joe’s Pub, where the troupe—Mike Albo, Norah Burns, and David Ilku—satirized pretentious wannabes and the deadening behavioral trends they pursue in their decidedly, not-woke bubble.
In the fast-moving revue, the Unis skewer social networks, L.A. protest songs (“The answer, my friend, is blowing Bryan Singer”), the demand for constant consent, the all-consuming nature of hatred for Trump, and people who never look up from their phones, live in places like MiMA, and are concerned about their alkaline levels. I loved the faux commercial for ambulance chasing lawyers who will help you sue if Alexa gives you a wrong answer.
But the best was Albo as a gay who calls his credit card company over false charges, only to have the representative (voiced by Ilku) detail not only everything Albo bought in the last day, but everything he felt, including horny, lonely, and desperate. Fortunately, you’ll only feel giddy at either of these two shows. Got it? Great. Sia Later!