The 250 Best Drag Names of All Time

Also: What if Romy and Michelle were drag queens?

I love a good drag name because it shows that the drag queen cares enough to label herself with style. In honor of that very specialized art, I have compiled the 250 very best drag names of all time (including a huge grouping that I made up myself.) Let me start by including the marvelous monikers of some real-life queens:

Allison Chains
Amanda Reckonwith
Anita Procedure
April Showers
Barbara Seville
Blake Deadly
Brandy Alexander
Brianna Cracker
Carlos the Uber Driver
Chaka Khanvict
Chelsea Piers
Crystal Decanter
Dixie Normous
Dora Jar
Eileen Dover
Eileen Sideways
Esther Gin
Fibonaci Sequins
Gina Lotrimin
Hedda Lettuce
Heidi Haux
Helena Handbasket
Ida Slapter
Ivy Profen
Izzy Uncut
Jacklynn Hyde
Jenny from the Cock
Liza Lott
Lois Common Denominator
Maci Sumcox
Megan Whoopi
Miranda Wrights
Misty Meaner
Misty Mountains
Mona More
Nicole Onoscopi
Olive D’Nightlife
Olympia Bukkake
Paige Turner
Patti O’Furniture
Rhoda Dendron
Rita Menu
Robin Kradles
Sarah Tonin
Sheila Noya
Sheila Tack
Shelby Late
Shelita Baby
Sutton Lee Seymour
Tasha Salad
Tina Burner
Wilma Titzgro

And of course let’s add Drag Race faves Sharon Needles, Courtney Act, Mimi Imfurst, Kim Chi, and Farrah Moan. I’m also including Rachel Tensions (RuPaul’s character in the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar), and Marsha Dimes, Bertha Venation, Virginia Ham, Claire Voyant, and Bang Bang La Desh, which are names dropped in the original play Torch Song Trilogy. Let me also include Olive Theotherreindeer (mentioned in the film Anna and the Apocalypse, but not as a drag name), and Shirley U. Jest and Tess Testosterone (both conjured up in a novel I wrote ages ago).

Katja Ogrin/Redferns
Sharron Needles

But some people just don’t have a knack for coming up with great drag names. Queens are always saying well-meaning things like, “I just thought up a hilarious drag name: Potato Soup!” But that ain’t funny, honey. If Potato was an actual woman’s name, it would surely be better, but as is, it’s just weird, not clever. If you want a food name, then the aforementioned Kim Chi works because Kim is already a woman’s name. Get it? Got it? Good. But sorry, that one’s already taken.

Anyway, here’s a whole bunch more of the best drag names—which I invented with my incredible little drag queen mind. Play safely with them.

Adele Laptop
Alicia Apartment
Aliyah Alone
Amelia Diefor
Angela Mercy
Angie O’Plasty
Anime Wong
Annette Below
Anya Marx
Ariel View
Aurora Borealis
Barbi Crotch
Beah Best
Bess Intentions
Beth Israel
Bette Zaroff
Beverly Wilshire
Blythe Spirit
Bonnie Scotland
Brooke Trout
Camille Ticket
Candida Overgrowth
Carnie Asada
Cathay Pacific
Catherine Wheel
Celia Lips
Celine Cuisine
Cher D. Wealth
Chynna Fun
Clorox Bleachman
Coco Pebbles
Connie Lingus
Constance Craving
Cookie Crumbles
Cora Apple
Daisy Chain
Dawn Patrol
Dee Lister
Delia Hand
Della Katessen
Demi Monde
Deniece N. Denephew
Dionne Quintuplets
Dolly Postpartum
Donna Thedead
Doris Attraction
Dusty Shelf
Eartha Nihilation
Edamame Dearest
Edie Amin
Enda DaWorld
Ella Ella Ella
Elle Train
Enya Buttocks
Erin Gobraless
Estee DaNight
Ethel Nitrite
Etta Girl
Faith Healer
Fancy Feast
Fannie Mae
Frances N. Trouble
Frida People
Gene Pool
Georgia Rule
Gerri Meandering
Gia Hardon
Gilda Lily
Ginger Beef
Gladys Notme
Greta Spectations
Harper Valley
Haya Stranger
Hayden Planetarium
Hedda DaClass
Hedy Discussion
Heidi Salami
Holly Goheavily
Hope Floats
Iman Iswear
Imogen Alda-People
Inger Management
Isabelle Ringing
Ivana B. Alone
Ivy Druguser
Jan Tomorrow
Jane Reaction
Jean Jacket
Jenna Fluid
Jennifer Convertible
Jordan Almonds
Judy Ism
June Bride
Kamala Myhouse
Karen Toomuch
Kaye Why
Kiki Sessions
Kitten Caboodle
Lala Land
Laura Gravity
Lauren Order
Lois Bidder
Lourdes Prayer
Mabel Syrup
Madison Avenue
Mara Lago
Marcy Killing
Margarita Pizza
Marina Del Ray
Marsha DaPenguins
Mary Christmas
Matilda Tickets
Maura DeSame
May Attend
Maya Bad
Melba Toast
Mercedes Bends
Mia Culpa
Milla Peed
Minnie Storage
Mira Image
Molly Addict
Nan Bread
Nana Heyhey
Neely Bottom
Nico Bag
Nita Escort
Norma Behavior
Nutella Fitzgerald
Olive Garden
Olivia Neutron Bomb
Paris Texas
Pat Excuse
Pearl Necklace
Penny Alla Vodka
Phyllis Trough
Pia Mymouth
Pier One
Piper Heidsieck
Raisa Titanic
Raquel Dommage
Raven Lunatic
Reese S. Pieces
Rhetta Magazine
Rosemary Chicken
Rosetta Stone
Rosie Future
Roxy Saturdays
Sade Tripper
Sally Forth
Salma Nella
Sandy Flipflops
Saoirse LaFemme
Scarlet Empress
Selma Belongings
Senta Invoice
Sherry Netherland
Sia Later
Soledad Canyon
Sophie Tucker
Stormy Weather
Sudie Landlord
Sutton Place
Svetlana Turner
Sybil Disobedience
Talia Mother
Tamara Nite
Tami Flu
Tara Alert
Tia Sympathy
Tiffany Lampshade
Tilda End
Tyra Living
Vera Similitude
Virginia Slims
Vita Loca
Wanda Why
Wendy Poplars
Winnie Repeatedly
Xena Phobia

Santiago Felipe/FilmMagic
Farrah Moan

And before you start tucking, here’s more! Several years ago, a well-versed drag queen on the scene told me the following drag names:

Ann T. Christ
Carmen Gettit
Ella Vader
Ginger Vitus
Grace Period
Hazel Nuts
Kat Atonic
Ophelia Coxx
Polly Amorous
Rhea Ranged
Ruby Slippers
Sue E. Sidle

Okay! And I even gave you eight extra ones! Surely you can pluck a name out of all those genius ideas and become a star. And for the record, I am now officially Maura DeSame…so get your own drag name!

One Sings, the Other Sings, Too

Meanwhile, some of these drag queens don’t only get laughs when they introduce themselves, they can tickle you with actual stage work too. Jackie Cox and the aforementioned Chelsea Piers are plumbing the ‘90s memory banks for a fun Jackie and Chelsea’s High School Reunion show that’s a sort of drag Romy and Michelle, with scattered references to Beyoncé and Michelle!

In the romp at the Laurie Beechman Theatre, the two drag queens travel to their high school reunion, while doing flawlessly choreographed cover songs (think Madonna, Shania, Alanis, and RuPaul), deciding along the way that, in order to impress their old pals, they’re going to pretend to be serious businesswomen who invented Instagram. But the school’s bitchy Heathers (played on video by drag trio Stephanie’s Child) bust them, leading to a defiant and proud conclusion, as Jackie and Chelsea realize they’re fine as they are—though that’s not actually the end. The show keeps topping itself, and the two tireless gals are delectable—they sing live from start to finish, by the way—so let me urge you to fuck me gently with a chainsaw if you don’t see it.

I also caught Badassy, the guffaw-inducing show by the comedy trio Unitard, at Joe’s Pub, where the troupe—Mike Albo, Norah Burns, and David Ilku—satirized pretentious wannabes and the deadening behavioral trends they pursue in their decidedly, not-woke bubble.
 

In the fast-moving revue, the Unis skewer social networks, L.A. protest songs (“The answer, my friend, is blowing Bryan Singer”), the demand for constant consent, the all-consuming nature of hatred for Trump, and people who never look up from their phones, live in places like MiMA, and are concerned about their alkaline levels. I loved the faux commercial for ambulance chasing lawyers who will help you sue if Alexa gives you a wrong answer.

But the best was Albo as a gay who calls his credit card company over false charges, only to have the representative (voiced by Ilku) detail not only everything Albo bought in the last day, but everything he felt, including horny, lonely, and desperate. Fortunately, you’ll only feel giddy at either of these two shows. Got it? Great. Sia Later!

Michael Musto is the long running, award-winning entertainment journalist and TV commentator.
@mikeymusto