Oh, lord have mercy. They’ve announced the cast for RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race, and I can barely stand it. Will Manila take it all? Will Latrice make everyone eat it? And what the f**k is Mimi Imfurst doing in the room? I need answers!
However, before I soak in a bath of warm, salty competition, I want to celebrate what Ru’s girls have been doing since they left the show. Specifically, I want to honor the music videos the hunties have been dropping, so here are my Top 3. (And lest we forget the Grand Lady herself, we can always revisit my countdown of RuPaul’s 5 Best Music Videos.)
(1) “Chow Down (at Chik-Fil-A)” by Willam (and friends)
You guys! Willam and Co. released this anti-Chik-Fil-A rant/Wilson Phillips parody over 6 months before the chicken shack’s CEO revealed what a homophobic bastard he is. I mean, sure… the company’s anti-gay stance was pretty public before last month, so it’s not like “Chow Down” just guessed this was an issue. Still, this song seems awfully prescient now. As a bonus, it’s also really funny, and it’s clearly the best post-Drag Race music video.
(2) “Diamond Crowned Queen” by Raja
I don’t love this song—it’s just a series of boasts chanted over a sludgy club beat—but the video is sexier than hell. The fashions alone are slutty-fabulous, and then Raja tweaks and freaks them by adding hideous clown masks and such. She’s challenging us to look, to lust, and then deal with it when shit gets crazy. Oh… and also? She makes out with Raven!
(3) “Cooter” by Pandora Boxx
I hope Pandora wins the All Stars season. She can serve beauty and glamor, but she’s also dedicated to crafting a witty personality, meaning she can be a true entertainer instead of just a fashion model. In her delicious single “Cooter,” Pandora isn’t just cooing vague bullshit about clothes. She’s using the sound of gay club music to complain that she can’t bang straight boys without a cooter. That’s some sweet irony. And in the video, Pandora’s sense of humor shines right on through, reminding us that she will never be forgettable.
Mark Blankenship tweets as @IAmBlankenship. As he wrote this post, he realized how much he wants Pandora to win.