7 “Big Brother” Cast Members And Their Classic TV Doppelgängers

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This is the last time I apologize for a boring episode of Big Brother, I swear. Because it sure was boring. And it didn’t have to be, since Aaryn won HOH (and America’s collective fright), earning herself the power to nominate any of a number of tolerable houseguests for eviction. Except here’s the dumb thing:  She simply caved to another player’s wishes, nominated Howard and Spencer as part of her prearranged deal with Helen, and now we realize that Aaryn’s become worse than an offensive player; she’s an inoffensive player. She’s simply a quieted-down bigot who’s surviving on desperate deals and jerry-built alliances, even though she’s the HOH this week. She could’ve leveraged this advantage much more. Poor her. I’m kidding.

Now, since nothing happened besides Aaryn’s nominations (and a dull-as-doornailz Have/Have-Not competition featuring an awkward-ass Poppy Montgomery cameo), I thought we’d play a game. Let’s pick a bunch of Big Brother HGs and compare their images to classic TV characters. Ready to go? Be afraid.

1. GinaMarie is…

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…Cheri Oteri as Colette Reardon on Saturday Night Live

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Doesn’t it seem like GinaMarie is picking up prescribed peyote from “a Dr. Steve Longshoe.” Practices medicine on the reservation. Good kid. GOOD KID!”?

2. McCrae is…

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…Project Runway season two veteran Kara Janx

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Yes, Project Runway counts as classic TV. Particularly a season where a weary Zulema told Kara, “I don’t care if you cry and cut — but you better cry and cut.”

3. Spencer is…

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 …Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

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To be fair, Andy originated this comparison on a live feed, but come on. Clearly Cornelius and Spencer share a claymation ancestor or two. And speaking of Andy…

4. Andy is…

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…Big Pete from Nickelodeon’s The Adventures of Pete & Pete

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I’d kill to hear Andy’s droll narration over a cynical ’90s kids’ show.

5. Aaryn is…

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…mean Gia from Full House… as well as…

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…Rebecca Cunningham from TaleSpin.

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Has a kinder thing ever been said about Aaryn? I think not. You’re welcome, Aaryn!

6. Amanda is…

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…Kim Kelly from Freaks and Geeks

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No wonder I like her so much! And finally…

7. Southern-fried Judd…

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…is just a younger version of southern-fried Joe from last season of Big Brother.
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Does Allison Grodner have an “inoffensive, amiable Southern gent” quota to fill each year? Jeez.

Your turn. Can you match up Howard, Elissa, or Helen?