Everyone’s freaking out over at the Loch Ness Lake in Scotland because some dude took, like, the most crazy pics ever of the monster that supposedly lives in that lake. Already RuPaul has reached out for casting on the next Drag Race, Lady Gaga has commissioned a Loch Ness Dress and Kristen Stewart has offered it a nice warm bed to stay in when it comes stateside. But know what? We’ve got our very own crazy lake monsters right here on this continent, and shockingly, none of them are currently running on a GOP ticket. Anyway, if you’re up for some lake monster-ing, here’s some of the best spots in North America. Happy hunting!
1—Lake Champlain, Vermont & New York
She’s a serpent called Champ (though we’re petioning for Campaign) and was first spotted on this New York/Vermont border lake back in 1609. Wow, she’s aged!
2—Okanagan Lake, British Colombia, Canada
Ogopogo, a dinosaur-y fishy creature, was first seen in this lake in 1926 and continues to have a name that is fun to say.
3—Lake Manitoba, Manitoba Canada
Canadian serpents can be spotted in various bars in Montreal and in this lake up in Manitoba. Since 1908.
4—Devil’s Lake, Wisconsin
Eating too much cheese may cause you to see a gigantic octopus in this lake. Or smoke what the Native American Nakota Sioux were, because they saw it too.
5—Leelanau Lake, Michigan
With the same cute name as the lake, this monster is said to have a stubby neck and big eyes. Y’hear Kristen Stewart?
6—Alkali Lake, Nebraska
As if Nebraska wasn’t scary enough, then they had to go and add this lake that’s got a gigantic one-horned crocodile that smells like shit.
7—Lake Iliamma, Alaska
Animal Planet’s River Monsters tried to find it but couldn’t, but Illie, as the locals call her, is said to have a square and blunt head that she bludgeons in to small boats and scared tourists.
Matt Bell is a New York based travel and style writer who contributes regularly to Esquire.com and Essential Homme Magazine. He has also written for Out.com, Next Magazine, American Spa Magazine and was the Senior Editor for Genre Magazine.
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