7 Reasons Britney Spears Is The ONLY Choice For The Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show

America NEEDS a Piece of You, Brit!

The sports is starting up again, which means your favorite primetime shows will inevitably be trounced on by live NFL broadcasts and, most importantly, it’s time to start talking about who will headline the Super Bowl halftime show — a wildly engaging live performance that has become the most-watched television event in U.S. history, sandwiched on both sides by a football game.

Related: Twitter Had A Lot To Say About Katy Perry’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

Katy Perry, Madonna, and Beyonce have nailed the past few years, though it was Bruno Mars’ performance in 2013 that became the second most-watched halftime show in Super Bowl history.

Piggybacking on that success, it’s been rumored that the NFL is welcoming Bruno Mars back to the stage in 2016 to perform and “curate” a list of other artists to join him on stage. We love you, Bruno, but this is a terrible idea. We need Britney instead.

Last year, Britney appeared in a cryptic commercial during the Super Bowl that left many wondering if she’d return in 2016 to headline the halftime show:

We support this idea. We support the petition to have Britney perform at the 2016 Super Bowl. And here’s why:


  1. She obviously slayed the first time around.

    Once upon a time (2001) in a land far, far away (Tampa), Britney Jean Spears killed the Super Bowl halftime show on stage with ’NSYNC, her then-beau Justin Timberlake, and Aerosmith. It fucking rocked.

    Britney took the stage toward the end of the performance. They were obviously saving the best for last. (Seriously. Fast-forward to 6:48 and let that hip sway GIVE IT TO YOU.)

  2. She’d bring the biggest ratings since Janet Jackson’s nipple.

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    Britney is a ratings gold mine. Her mere appearance at an awards show has been known to boost viewership and when she performs — forget about it! You win the ratings game!

    Britney was the only one who could pull the Billboard Music Awards out of a 14-year ratings slump when she performed “Pretty Girls” last year. Don’t even pretend like it was Iggy Azalea!

  3. It’ll be just in time for #B9.

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    It’s no secret that Britney’s been visiting the recording studio all summer, possibly in preparation for her upcoming (and obviously legendary) ninth studio album. Producer Sam Bruno and songwriters Chantal Kreviazuk, Ian Kirkpatrick, and Simon Wilcox, were just a few of the lucky people who collaborated with the queen this summer.

    Britney said last year she wants her next album to be “artsy fartsy,” and what better place to spread your art than the most-watched television event ever? Fart that art all over the field, Brit!

  4. Taylor Swift can’t have everything.

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    First of all, Taylor Swift is a huge Britney fan. (Britney is also a huge Taylor Swift fan, but it was Taylor who was idolizing Britney back when she was a fetus.)

    Anyway, Swift has been rumored to come on board as a possible performer if Bruno Mars’ anything-goes celeb fest happens. We can’t allow this. Taylor Swift can’t have everything. She doesn’t need to be on literally everyone else’s stage, okay?!

  5. Britney is an American tradition.

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    It’s a historic year for the Super Bowl and that deserves a historic special musical guest! It’s the big game’s 50th anniversary and, to celebrate, we need a performance everyone can enjoy.

    This won’t be a year to woo Millennials and Gen-Y’ers with a no-name artist that’ll make your parents change the channel. Now is the time for the NFL to show us how much money, fireworks and fans they’re willing to throw on that field.

  6. America needs a refresher course.

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    Britney has more haters than anyone in the game, which if you ask me, is a testament to her legacy. It’s about damn time she revisited some of her greatest hits in front of a national audience to remind everyone why she’s a pop icon.

Matthew Tharrett is a writer, filmmaker, and above all else, a Britney fan. He once shared a milkshake with Selena Gomez.
@mattharrett