Just a train, shuttle and ferry ride away from New York, Fire Island is the stuff of legend, a sort of NSFW summer camp for men who love men. Every summer, gays from around the world make the pilgrimage.

If you're heading out to the island for the first time, though, here's a helpful guide to the denizens of FIP.

Watch Fire Island this spring on Logo.

The Hell's Kitchen Queen

FIP's biggest population is transplanted direct from the middle of Manhattan's west side—preened, pretty and pumped up. If the HK club circuit is your cup of tea, you'll see a lot of familiar faces at Tea.

8. The Old Flame

You're bound to run into at least one former trick on the boardwalk (or in the Meat Rack)—whether he's an ex-boyfriend or a one-night stand. As long as his bathing suit's tight, it should be clear if he's happy to see you.

7. The Tweaker

This hyperactive nocturnal creature is safest to approach in the early morning hours, when he can be spotted stumbling home along the beach Walking Dead-style. At all other times, proceed with caution and speak in a low, calm voice.

The Ken Doll Couple

The Ken Doll Couple has it all: looks, money, accessories (available separately), and, unlike their namesake, something more interesting than smooth plastic between their legs (zing!). While their dual-action perfection might seem daunting at first, you can in fact double your pleasure and double your fun.

The Lifer

FIP has been a popular gay getaway since the 1960s (Cherry Grove actually beats it by about a decade), so some of the oldest beachcombers have decades' worth of stories to tell. These stories—and the rich sense of gay history there—are the island's real treasure.

The Houseboy

You know the story—handsome young gay needs a place to stay, older monied gay (or two) offers a place to stay in exchange for "unspecified duties." As a rule: the more beautiful the house, the more beautiful the boy.

The Legend

The Pines ain't cheap, so it attracts its fair share of tastemakers and otherwise Very Important People—artists, architects and even a few political movers and shakers.

But the heady combination of booze and boys is a great equalizer, so you never know when the person running his hand through your chest hair will turn out to be a person of note. Be polite!

The Lay Of Your Life

He's waiting for you. Deep in the Sunken Forest.

The Straight Girl

She's usually loud, she's usually drunk—and the ferry ride wouldn't be the same without her.

Watch Fire Island this spring on Logo.