‘A-List Dallas’ Recap: Tops & Bottoms

For the win

What about last night’s episode of A-List kids. Wowza. For anyone who though those Big Apple bois had cornered the market on histrionics and dramatics, think again. This episode had it all: tears, fears, drinks flying in people’s face, scandal, affairs and more drinks flying in people’s face. So let’s examine who came out on top (just one of you) and who sunk to new and embarrassing lows (all y’all).

TOPS
Ashley — Is this her show? I mean, it should be. The Lauren Conrad of the Lonestar State proved her might last night by being the most sensible member of the group — and this after she threw TWO drinks in Levi’s face. Let’s be honest, if you’re gonna deride someone’s ability to do their job, at least do it to their face. Also, don’t do it after you ask them as a favor to make time in their schedule to follow you down to the local lake for what you think is going to be a Vogue-worthy photo session. I mean, there is a reason the “shore” was empty on that muddy and unappealing dipping spot. Even Jason Voohrees wouldn’t have been caught dead in those murky waters. This little lady takes no BS and  keeps her hair looking amazing while doing so (no roots!). A true inspiration to feisty females across this great, great nation.

BOTTOMS
The Rest Of You — What is the deal guys? You all seem so hell-bent on backstabbing one another we can’t get a read from any of you. Also, cool it with all the intermixing. Are there no other gay men in Dallas? Go hang with Ashley for a bit so she can teach some things about how to present yourself on camera. First lesson being don’t get sloppy and go home with a dude just to create drama, the kids from Jersey do it way better. Second, try and form an allegiance to at least one other cast member rather than continuing this cycle of talking sh*t about someone the second they leave the room. Partner up and take an oath to stay loyal to just one person in the cast, anyone will do. It will make the bickering more bearable AND you will have someone to jump in front of Ashley when she (no doubt rightfully) throws a drink in your face later in the season.

So what were your thoughts on last night’s debauchery kiddos? Are we all firmly Team Ashley now or do you prefer the sophomoric behavior of the men in constant heat?