EastEnders (U.K.)

So what is Kathy saying? Phil is just a misunderstood soul so maybe we shouldn’t be so mad at him for being a violent thug who nearly killed a child and let someone else take the blame? Plus let’s not forget all the other horrible things he’s done, like kidnapping Vincent and Kim’s baby. And that's just recently. There are a lifetime of reasons why his family should have abandoned him long ago.

I’ve always hated that the people on this show, like Sharon, are always torn about dropping Phil from their lives no matter what he does. This man nearly killed her child and she still is hesitant to leave? If Phil actually had some good points and he was worthy of all this devotion I might understand it, but to me it’s like keeping a dog around that does nothing but crap on your furniture when he isn’t biting you.

I did like the look Kathy gave Ben when he asked her ‘why would someone pretend to be something that they're not’. She be like 'bitch, please'!

Emmerdale (U.K.)

I thought Aaron’s outrage over Paddy’s affair was a bit much given that Aaron had a nearly year long affair with Robert. I do agree that Paddy’s reasons for the affair don’t make much sense (then again, neither did Aaron’s affair with Robert) and Paddy’s dumb excuses are hard to take.

The most interesting thing to me, however, was Paddy figuring out that there had to be more to Aaron’s telling the social worker about problems in Paddy and Rhona’s marriage than Aaron being angry at Paddy and that there was actually something going on with Aaron that made him do what he did. I love that Paddy is more in tune with Aaron than anyone else. Their relationship has always been that way -- when the show chooses to play it.

I think it’s ridiculous how Chrissie has gotten a pass for causing three deaths. People act like she passed wind in public with their ‘bygones’ reaction to what she did. Diane actually shrugged when it was brought up that Chrissie was responsible for Val’s death!

Hit The Floor (U.S.)

I still can’t believe what a bear Dean Cain has become—not that there is anything wrong with that.

I did like that opening scene between Zero and Jude. They have amazing chemistry—Lots of fun double entendres. And Zero stays super hot.

It’ll be interesting to see where Jude’s new job takes him, assuming he gets to keep it with all the scheming going on to sell the team.

Hollyoaks (U.K.)

Man, this Pete storyline has been running on forever. Assuming Pete ever goes to trial (my guess he gets murdered first), won’t Porsche and Rennie have to come back to testify, which might be tough since both actresses left the show? IMO, I find it hard to believe they would have left town with Pete skulking around Cleo.

Those Nightengales are boring. And you know that Nathan and Cleo are headed for an affair, even though he's too old for her. Though I guess Cleo has a thing for older men. But that bit around Nathan leaving the cash drawer open so Cleo could take some money to give to Pete was ridiculous. Who does that?

I’ve always found Leela and Peri having anything to do with Cameron to be totally disrespectful to the memory of their parents. Sure they think his running down Sam and Danny was an accident (though we know now what I’ve always suspected, that it was murder), but no matter how you look at it, he was responsible for their deaths.

I guess this is Ste and Harry’s happy period? Shocking they are letting them not be miserable for more than an episode or two. John Paul and Ste never got that during their entire time together.

Putting aside the silly plot point of Tony’s blaming Ste for Harry getting arrested, Tony is right to be concerned about Harry sloughing off his grades right before college because of his preoccupation with his new relationship.

Let’s face it, this relationship won’t last six months. And like all of Ste’s previous exes, Harry will be worse off. Ste, of course, won't GAF. He'll either be stoned out of his mind or have a new boyfriend to make miserable.

I did LOL at the bit about Tony taunting Ste about he and John Paul’s very brief marriage only for Ste to remind Tony about all his exes. That list of Tony marking off all his possible baby mamas with Alfie was a nice touch.

Neighbours (Australia)

I’ve always wanted the show to do more with Nate’s past in Afghanistan, but I think there should have been some buildup for Nate behaving so violently, especially since he’s supposedly in therapy to deal with his issues. I can’t say this story is particularly interesting, but at least Nate is doing something for a change.

Secret Lives (Finland)

Hmm.... I wonder what Kalle wants to talk about? I’d like to see Kalle forgive Lari and they get back together, but it’s too soon for that, I suppose. But given that Kalle was already softening towards Lari, my guess is Kalle extends an olive branch to Lari, only for Elias to show up and ruin it.

Speaking of Elias, you can’t tell me he’s not still interested in Lari, he seems as obsessed with him as ever, even under the guise of ‘friendship’. Lari is all Elias can think about or talk about. And the expression on his face when Lari admitted it was over with Kalle said it all. Bah.

TBH, I expect they’ll give Kalle and Lari another go around and then the guy Elias met in Brussels will show up to create another quadrangle.

As much as I hate them giving Lari a baby, it’s ridiculous that everyone expects him to step aside and let Talle adopt his child. I mean, Talle and Sanne aren’t even together anymore. Lari shouldn’t have to give up his rights so everybody can be friends. Of course it probably won’t always be that way. Lari will eventually change his mind and want to be with his baby to create more drama.

Someone needs to cut Oliver’s hair.

The Haves and the Have Nots (U.S.)

That cop who showed up at Candace’s place was ridiculously hot. And Candace’s flirtations were pretty funny. But gee, who didn’t know that Quincy wasn’t dead after all.

How sad that Jennifer’s determination to get Jim for all his crimes came down to a woman scorned. I guess it’s too much to ask to have a female character who is strong, but not insane or a schemer.

As for the reveal about David’s affair with Jennifer, David was one of the few characters who, for the most part, hasn’t been morally tarnished on this show. Until now. Shame.

Wyatt dancing through his house in his underwear? More please.

Like I said last week, this show is becoming my guilty pleasure. It’s ridiculous and over the top, but has actually settled into an entertaining groove if you can ignore the sometimes overlong scenes and repetitive dialogue.

BTW, I literally screamed when I saw the previous for next week. Now that was a plot twist I did not see coming.

THIS WEEK IN SPOILERS

Emmerdale: Aaron is upset to find out that Chas has been secretly having an affair with Gordon. He returns to self abusing and severely hurts himself. Robert finds him and rushes him to the hospital where Aaron must stay overnight. While there, Aaron whispers something to Robert, but what does he say?

Following that, Robert goes back to the hospital the next day to see how Aaron is doing, only to find Aaron has left the hospital on his own. Chas is looking for Aaron too, but Robert covers for him by saying he and Aaron spent the night together. Chas, of course, is furious.

Robert tracks Aaron down and Aaron painfully admits a secret he’s been hiding since childhood. Robert is stunned and encourages Aaron to tell Chas. Aaron refuses, but Robert agrees to keep Aaron’s secret and stand by him.

Meanwhile, Finn (again) helps someone else with their love life.

Hollyoaks: After Ms. St Claire is revealed as transgender, she is the subject of ridicule and prejudice at the school. She decides to resign and John Paul accuses her of running away and encourages her to fight. When Ms. Claire refuses, JP takes up the battle for her.

Neighbours: Nate tells Aaron about his attack on Dimato. To protect his boyfriend, Aaron finds a battered Dimato, then calls Karl to treat Dimato on the downlow. Karl agrees, but pressures Nate to go to the police. Nate says he’ll think about it, but Dimato doesn’t want that to happen so he hires a thug to go after Susan to convince everyone to keep quiet.

Afraid for Susan and Karl and what Dimato might do to them, Nate makes a surprising move that affect his relationship with Aaron forever.

Secret Lives: Kalle wants to have a talk with Lari about everything that's happened. Is this the end for them -- or a new beginning?

The Haves and the Have Nots: Jeffery’s arrest by the sexy cop takes an unexpected turn (unless you've seen a porn movie) while Candace deals alone with a not so dead Quincy. And more secrets are revealed.

TEASERS FOR NEXT WEEK

EastEnders: Paul forces Ben to choose between he and Abi.

Emmerdale: Robert begins to wonder if Aaron’s claims are the truth.

Hollyoaks: James schemes to stir up trouble for Mac.

Neighbours: Aaron takes up a new cause.

River City: Patrick is accused of grooming Drew and fired from his coaching job; Robbie faces losing his business.

That’s it for this edition of Langford On Soaps. Please share your comments on the thoughts and opinions expressed in this week's column below. See you next week!