AfterElton Briefs: Miss Piggy Roasts Fox News, Shirley MacLaine Joins “Downton Abbey,” and Chris and Darren at the SAG Awards

  • Happy Birthday to Wilmer Valderrama (above), who turns 32, Christian Bale is 38, and Phil Collins, who turns 62. Time to name your top five Phil and/or Genesis songs! I have to do one of each. Here are my Genesis picks: 5. “Man On The Corner,” 4. “No Son Of Mine,” 3. “Follow You, Follow Me,” 2. “Abacab,” 1. “That’s All.” And my top five Phil songs: 5. “Something Happened On The Way To Heaven,” 4. “Against All Odds,” 3. “Easy Lover,” 2. “In The Air Tonight,” 1. “Separate Lives.”

  • Cynthia Nixon released a statement to The Advocate clarifying her remarks from last week: “While I don’t often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have ’chosen’ is to be in a gay relationship.”
  • Jennifer Lopez will be a presenter at the Oscars. I don’t get it either, but maybe she’ll wear another design Trey Parker can wear.
  • The live-action film version of Stretch Armstrong is still going forward, but star Taylor Lautner has dropped out. Stretch is one of those toys that you loved getting as a kid … for a couple of days, then the boredom sets in, your curiosity gets the best of you, and you learn the Secret Of The Ooze.
  • Betty Bowers is So Close To Jesus. Favorite bit: “He asks me to take the wheel.”

  • Speaking of God stuff, The Game Show Network is producing the hour-long pilot The American Bible Challenge, which “tests contestants on their bible knowledge.”
  • Spike TV has given the greenlight for three series: Full Bounty, a reality competition featuring aspiring bounty hunters, Tattoo Nightmares, chronicling the stories behind unfortunate tattoos and their owners’ attempts to have them fixed, and Rat Bastards, following a group of guys in Louisiana who hunt down giant swamp rats. Okay, I made one of those up. Can you guess which one? Here’s the answer: They’re actually all real.
  • Brad Goreski talks to Big Morning Buzz Live about his early years.
  • In what is certain to cause a conniption, Miss Piggy takes on Fox News. God, I love that sow.

  • I don’t know who UK footballer Joey Barton is, but from what I gather, he’s a bit of a bad boy. He’s also one of the few to speak out against homophobia in sports. His interview is part of the BBC Three documentary Gay Footballers, which airs tonight.
  • Happy 53rd Birthday to Jody Watley! What are your fave Jody songs? Here are mine: 5. “Some Kind Of Lover,” 4. “Everything,” 3. “Real Love,” 2. “Looking For A New Love,” 1. “Don’t You Want Me.”
  • Speaking of which, here are Chris and Darren last night at the SAG Awards. Chris looks stunning, and Darren looks great, if a bit … pale.

  • Below you can see the cast of a famous TV show. Can you name it?

And today’s Briefs are brought to you by…

This guy!

80's Pop Culture Expert, Shooting At The Walls Of Heartache.