Life has a tendency to get messy, especially on a Ryan Murphy show like American Horror Story Coven. There are several hundred recurring characters this season, and each of them is having a pretty bad time. But that shouldn’t deter us from looking to the witches for direction. You can learn from a bad example as well as a good one. For this recap, we’ll take everyone’s actions with a grain of salt and explore what not to do.

Coven-tional Wisdom: Four Anti-Lessons From This Week’s Episode of American Horror Story Coven

LESSON ONE: DON’T start something you can’t finish

It feels really empowering in the moment to say you’re going to take immediate action. Screw you, roommate who doesn’t do the dishes: I’m moving out! Except then you remember that you signed a lease agreement and you don’t have a new place lined up and you’re going to have to call your dad in Westchester to borrow the SUV and you haven’t even packed.

So yes, it’s awfully noble of Meryl Streep’s daughter to try to rid the world of a serial killer, but if she had acted with less drama and more forethought, maybe she could have actually gotten rid of him instead of just locking him in a spiritual closet for a few decades.

LESSON TWO: DON'T turn away good advice

When your friends all agree that something’s a bad idea, why not just listen? You’re blinded by the hot guy’s abs or the desire to solve a murder, so you forget yourself. They see clearly. Zoe finds out the hard way that using the imaginary-and-therefore-not-infringing-on-copyright Spirit Board has dire consequences for those around her.

Don’t be a Zoe. Listen to the Queenies and Nans in your life. They get it.

LESSON THREE: DON’T ignore people’s boundaries

Sometimes, the clues are subtle. Tense body language like crossed arms might be your only hint that your guest isn’t into dead baby humor. Other times, people yowl like caged animals, and you can tell right away. Regardless, keep an eye out for others’ comfort levels. Not everyone is ready to get bathed by you on a second date, okay Misty? If you’d have noted Kyle’s distress sooner, you might still have a radio right now.

LESSON FOUR: DON’T do shots

Especially of absinthe. Solidarity is about sticking together, not sharing the same unwholesome blood-alcohol level.