American Horror Story: Jessica Lange’s Bitchiest Lines From All Three Season


Whether it’s a haunted house, an evil asylum or a witches’ academy, the most delicious thing about any season of American Horror Story is Jessica Lange. Entertainment Weekly thinks so to—they’ve made a supercut of all of Lange’s bitchiest lines as nosy neighbor Constance Langdon (Season 1) stern Sister Jude (Season 2) and imperial enchantress Fiona Goode (Season 3).

Here are a few zingers:
* You said your name’s Lana, like after the movie star? Now there’s a trainwreck of a soul.

* Who would you like to call, Miss Winters—the American Civil Lesbians Union?

*  Anne Frank, is it? What a relief it will be to millions of schoolchildren to know you survived.

* I prayed about it—when I wasn’t praying for you to find a halfway decent haberdasher.

Watch out Alaska: Your crown as the queen of shade might be in jeopardy.

Head over to for the full clip. The shade of it all!


Dan Avery is a writer-editor who focuses on culture, breaking news and LGBT rights. His work has appeared in Newsweek, The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Advocate and elsewhere.