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"America's Next Top Model" Recap: The Guy Who Parties Too Hard

Didn't the last new episode of America's Next Top Model feel so long ago? Well, we're here again and Tyra is up to her old tricks. Her old, old tricks. The kind of tricks where everything is predictable but still compelling? Yeah, that trick.

Anyway, onwards!

Cat Fight: While no one in the house is fighting per se, plenty of shade is being thrown behind closed doors. Lennox, Will, and Raelia are particularly annoyed at Chantelle's return and her chronic case of Resting Bitch Face.

This prompts Chantelle to speak the most feared words in reality television. Yes that's right, she plays the "I'm not here to make friends" card. Suddenly, her roll as a frontrunner is in jeopardy.

Sob Story: Buxom Raelia gets some extra attention this week, talking about how she still lives at home with her family. She reiterates what a disappointment it will be to return to her dismal life if she's eliminated. Noticing a patten here? Chantelle and Raelia are getting a lot of screen time, so one or both will likely end up on the bottom.

Love Triangle: Now that Denzel and Mirjana are gone, a new romance is forming. But will the Frat Boy Wonder and Asian Orlan be hooking up from now on?After some drunk making out in the confessional, it seems to be going that way.

Girl, he is half your size. I don't even have a read for this one, it's just kinda weird.

Unnecessarily Complex Mini-Challenge: The models are whisked away to Korea on a  cheap clip-art CGI airplane, and asked to learn a complex dance number with K-Pop band BtoB. Alas our mannequins are clearly fighting off jet lag.

Raelia and Chantelle bend-and-bust-it-open while most of the others struggle, especially Adam (who is visibly drunk from indulging on the plane). In the end, Raelia wins, but props to Keith for perfecting the shoulder-shimmy.

Back at the house, Adam engages in some solo-debauchery: While his drunk rant is noticeably edited down, highlights include him giving a picture of himself a goodnight kiss. The next morning Will offers to get him some water, but Adam heads straight for breakfast brewskis. Will serves him some Alyssa Edwards caliber "No Ma'am" face in return.

Pseudo Artistic Photo-Shoot: The models are quickly whisked away to a cyberpunk structure where they'll take edgy photos for luxury brand MCM. Tyra herself is on-staff to do makeup and micro-manage.

A few interesting things happen during this shoot:

  • Raelia puts on her hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold face. The photographers aren't feeling it, so Tyra suggests "Get on your hands and knees but don't think sex!" she screams.
  • Adam demands sake shots (you know sake is Japanese, not Korean, right bro?) before the shoot. Tyra can't manage to coach him into anything because he is practically falling over himself.
  • Yu Tsai calls Chantelle his "little panda," which seems pretty offensive. Chantelle is rightfully annoyed and plans on confronting him later.
  • Tyra Nonsense: Tyra's been on a pop-feminism kick all cycle but now she's back to her old, insane self. Throughout the course of judging she manages to:

  • Give an absurd compliment: "You have Crazy Magic Face!" she tells Keith.
  • Give impossibly vague, contradictory advice: She tells Chantelle to "leave your attitude behind" but also "own your world".
  • Have a fear-gasm at Keith's dance moves.
  • Call Raelia out for not wearing a bra.
  • all out Adam for his noticeably stinky booze-breath.
  • Oh, nonsense Tyra. We've missed you.

    Predictable Elimination: Both Keith and Will receive straight tens for their amazing photographs. Will body rolls and high kicks his way off the stage, but Keith takes the win for the week.

    I bet you can guess who winds up on the bottom two—yup, Chantelle and Raelia. Ultimately, Raelia is sent packing for not being able to turn down the sex. Bye, girl! We'll miss your glowing personality. And your beautiful, floppy boobs.

    Check back next week for our recap of Episode 13, "The Guy Who Gets Caught In A Lie"!

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