Welcome to another week in the Reality Court! This week I launched a new tee shirt collection called Go Glitz or Go Home! Please take a look!
How it works:
Evil Queen: Every show needs a villain, I should know, so this crown will be given to my favorite asshole of the week.
Knight in Shining Armor: Who says heartthrobs can only be Biebers and Efrons. Each week I will crown my reality TV stud of the week.
Jubilant Jester: Every show has the character that provides comic relief. This crown will be given to someone who literally makes me LOL.
King’s Servant: Every King needs an assistant. Each week I will choose a star that I wish was my best friend. Besides, my little Maltese Ella can’t always be right next to me.
Future Royal: Who runs the world? I believe KIDS do. Sorry Beyonce. The same is true for reality TV. Each week I will choose a child on TV that is in my opinion, America’s Next Reality Star.
The Festival of the Week: Everyone has that one show that they watch, where they wish they were part of the cast. The King feels the same way! Each week I will announce my favorite show of the week!
Winner: Teresa Giudice (Real Housewives of New Jersey)
SHE’S BACK! Teresa has joined me in my court once again. I cannot believe what I am seeing with this lady. I mean come on, you look like a dumb idiot sheep on steroids when you sit there in front of Melissa and try to argue about the family dynamics. This is completely, 100% Joe Giudice’s fault, and Teresa is just too loyal to her husband to admit it. I am so tired of seeing her attack Melissa. Melissa is an angel (CC: King’s Servant) and it is not fair that Teresa keeps pinning her as the back guy.
Knight in Shining Armour
Winner: Carla Facciolo’s husband, Joe (Mob Wives)
Honorable Mention: Adam Levine (The Voice)
It has taken me awhile to admit this, but I am finally KING enough to do so. Carla Facciolo’s husband Joe is a STUD. Those close to me know I wish I was a Mob Wife sometimes (sorry Michael- @Schenkyabitch53) and this would be my Mob husband. I mean, look how cute he is with his children! Ow Ow! My honorable mention this week is the one and only Adam Levine from The Voice. I have had his new song with Maroon 5- “Payphone” on repeat all week. I am just in love with that tatoo stud!
Still, my mafia roots make me choose Joe.
Winner: Rosie (The Real Housewives of New Jersey)
Honorable Mention: Jessica Simpson (Fashion Star)
NOW MY LIFE ROSIEEE! I am obsessed with Kathy Wakile’s sister Rosie on The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She is absolutely tremendous. Watching her “babysit” all of the Wakile, Giudice, and Gorga clan on this past week’s episode was TO DIE FOR. First off, she starts chugging red wine when she gets stressed and then also she asks the 11 or 12 year old Gia Giudice to get Tarzan Milania off the pole in the closet! Jessica Simpson is a close second, not because of her on-camera humor, but because of her off-camera humor. Her brand is worth over 1 billion dollars, yet she signs a 3 million dollar Weight Watchers endorsement and also sells her baby photos for $800k. It just makes me LAUGH!
Winner: Evelyn Cohen (Watch What Happens Live!)
Honorable Mention: Jeff Lewis (Interior Therapy)
Last week my daddy crush, Andy Cohen, was one of my Knights in Shining Armor, but this week his MOTHER is one of my bestie favorites. She was the “bartender” on Watch What Happens Live! all week and she was absolutely a gemstone! I loved seeing her bring back old memories of Andy and also her witty Wendy Williams humor last night was tremendous. Still, Andy is hard to not focus on. Good thing he kept referencing his mother throughout the show. For my second place finish, I have Jeff Lewis because I am buying a new condo in Massachusetts and boy does it need some interior therapy. I am looking for a makeover there, so Mister Jeff, COME ON OVER! Bring Zoila too!!
Winner: Drita D’Avanzo’s daughter Gizelle (Mob Wives)
Honorable Mention: A.J. Pagan (Mob Wives)
I can only imagine how hard it is to be a child in a Mob related family. There is so much sadness and crazy moments that it must be hard staying level headed. This is not the case for the children on Mob Wives. I love Drita’s daughter Gizelle. She is rivaling Milania Giudice for the funniest reality kid. How about we let Milania and Gizelle square off! Maybe then we can let Drita and Teresa. OK, that would be ugly. Second place is a long time coming, but goes to AJ, son of Renee Graziano. He is so strong on the show and really resembles what it means to be loyal and tough. Kudos!
Festival of the Week
Winner: Dancing with the Stars
Honorable Mention: American Idol
This week I chose the 2 shows I wish I was on! For those that do not know, I really would like to someday, somehow be on Dancing with the Stars. I mean who wouldn’t want to be on that show. If Kate Gosselin can be on it, I sure as heck can be. I really hope my friend Renee Graziano gets pick first, she is TREMENDOUS! For American Idol, I just would like to show people that I can sing. Yes, I can actually sing.
Watch out Kim Zolciak, maybe there is a pop anthem coming from me– “Don’t be Tardy for Gay Party” ohh ohh ohhh.
[Andrew Sullivan is the outspoken publicist on LogoTV’s Eden’s World and the self-proclaimed ‘King of Reality’. He is a weekly contributor to NewNowNext.com with his Royal Court.]