Let's protect Dillon Passage at all costs, shall we? The 24-year-old husband of "Tiger King" Joe Exotic (a.k.a. Joseph Maldonado-Passage) is one of the few truly likable people in the new Netflix docuseries Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness, which has thrust his life with Exotic straight into the zeitgeist.

Passage sat down with a defiantly productive Andy Cohen for the host's Radio Andy show for a completely inappropriate conversation in which we learn far too much about Joe Exotic's sex life.

First and foremost, Passage reveals that Exotic is currently in COVID-19 isolation after moving from a prison that had a few cases of the disease that has currently brought the entire world to heel. That means the Passages haven't been able to speak their usual three to five times a day.

Cohen, who's still recovering from his own bout with COVID-19, brushes right past that and immediately dives into Passage's love life with the once and future king.

Among the host's preoccupations: Exotic's Prince Albert piercing, both Joe's and Dillon's preferred sexual positions, and whether they ever had sex with tigers in the room. That last question elicited a "Really, Andy?" from the otherwise very game Passage.

Did we ever really need to know that Joe Exotic is a "power vers"? I think the answer to that is a resounding "God no, make it stop." But as messy as Cohen can be—and that man can get real messy—gurl gets good sound bites.

"'No needle is going near my penis,' says Dillon Passage," Cohen intones after asking Passage if he plans to get a Prince Albert in tribute to his confined companion. "One of the headlines from this interview."

Thankfully, not ours.

But beyond the sensationalism and sexual tomfoolery, Passage gets to speak his truth, and he doesn't really have an unkind word for anyone except Jeff Lowe. Because it's fucking Jeff Lowe.

Passage and Exotic were only together for "seven or eight months" before he was hauled off to jail on multiple counts of animal cruelty and his attempted murder-for-hire plot against his archnemesis Carole Baskin.

"All I wanted to do was stay at home and take care of my animals. That's what I thought I was going to do for the rest of my life," Passage says. "So this was a big life-changing moment for me [when] we left the zoo. And then he got arrested, and that was mind-blowing."

Now a bartender in Florida, Passage has been spending his quarantine lying in a hammock in the sun, to which I say, "Go 'head, sis." He decided to speak with Cohen because, aside from being a fan of his, Passage felt he owed it to himself to tell his side of the story.

"I don't feel like I need to explain myself to the world. My life wasn't supposed to be put on blast… I wasn't prepared for that," Passage says. "But Joe is a really good guy. He may have made some sketchy decisions, and I know he regrets them, but his intentions are really good at heart. And he would do anything to help anybody in need."

Check out Passage's interview with Cohen below.