Angus Jones Says He’s Sorry, Will Still Smite Thee

Squinty Angus T Jones

Angus Jones (Getty)

Angus T. Jones, the 19-year-old star of admittedly lewd CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men who made headlines Monday after a Youtube video of him condemning the show went viral, is sorry.

In his statement of apology, Jones praises CBS, Warner Bros., and the folks behind and in front of the camera (Except you, Ashton!).

The video basically showed Jones calling the show a tool of Satan. He says he wishes even he weren’t on it and that no one should watch it. His reasoning? No, it isn’t the fame and fortune the show has won him. God made him do it!

You see, Jones is a Seventh Day Adventist, a deeply conservative evangelical church based in The People’s Republic of Krazytown, whose doctrine (in addition to disparaging anyone with the last name Cryer) says that the world is TOTALLY gonna end soon.

Maybe that’s why Jones figured it wouldn’t matter if he dissed the show. We might all be dead tomorrow!

Charlie Sheen also commented.