Q: I want to move in with my girlfriend. When we call potential landlords, they are generally very nice, until they begin asking how many people are moving into the 1-bedroom apartment. I refuse to deny my relationship with the woman I have been madly in love with since I was a little girl, but for some odd reason the apartment people lose their niceness after I tell them that its just me and her.
I know I can find somewhere a little more gay friendly, but unfortunately the economy is not on our side. Any suggestions?
- Evelyn, NJ
A: Hey Evelyn! First off, I am proud of you for being true to yourself and not hiding who you two are. It is a shame the economy isn’t kinder to you, so you can live in the more LGBTQ friendly communities, which do seem to command higher rents.
It’s unfortunate that living in an area whose denizens share your world view comes at a premium. But it’s not hopeless. Let’s take a peek at your predicament
1. You did not mention anything about your fiscal profile. It may very well be that you living with a woman is not the hindrance. Could a possible low credit score, wobbly income or past financial blemish like a foreclosure be the stumbling block? If so, be upfront with the landlord & explain how you are currently rectifying your spotty record. Make your case why you are a great tenant. Glowing references from employers and landlords may help.
2. Let’s assume your fiscal profile is flawless and that the landlords are indeed shying away from you two.
The fact of the matter is that many landlords rent to two women all the time; sisters, classmates, friends. It’s not unheard of.
Can you get through a showing and signing the lease without giving a dissertation about your undying eternal love for your boo? I’m not asking you to deny who you are – because after you’ve sealed the deal with the landlord, you can then shout out at the top of your lungs she’s the woman you’ve been madly in love with since you were a little girl as much as you want (But not during quiet hours in your building! You don’t want to give landlord an excuse to evict you).
3. A cultural shift has started whereby the public is recognizing that the LGBTQ community needs to be protected in housing matters.
This month, the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) proposed new regulations intended to ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity in its core housing programs.
Plus, there is talk of amending the Fair Housing Act to prohibit discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation & gender identity too. They’re moving in the right direction!
But until this crystallizes into law, if you have hard evidence landlords are discriminating against you & your partner, you’ll have to bring your case to Judge Judy!
- Herman
Herman Chan, a realtor, has appeared on HGTV’s House Hunters, My House is Worth What, and as a commentator on other networks. Realtor Magazine called him the “Internet Sensation Videoblogger.” Chan’s columns on real estate will alternate with his video blogs on real estate every Tuesday on 365gay.
