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Q My issue is that I am the middle child, male, and the only one getting married, but my parents are budgeting for my sisters’ weddings with more money and more time than mine.

I'm having to budget and save more even though I've had the longest and strongest relationships of any of my sisters, but I feel my parents are justifying their lower budget for me because of me being gay and that I'm marrying a man.

Do you think I should just deal with my parents or confront them about feeling a little neglected on my special day because I'm having a gay wedding?  Just kind of confused what I should do.

A Ah, the age-old question: Who will foot the bill of your wedding? Trouble is, paying for a gay wedding strangely leaves most parents scratching their heads. If they’re banking on tradition (where the bride’s family pays for nearly everything and the groom’s family picks up the tab on the rehearsal dinner, groom’s attire, rings, bride’s bouquet, groomsmen’s boutonnières and the honeymoon) to guide them, then they may feel like they’re not obligated to cover as much for your wedding, because you’re not the bride. But this isn’t fair, of course, because there is no bride in your upcoming wedding.

 If your parents are typically very supportive of you and are genuinely excited for your upcoming wedding, then my advice is this:

Be open and honest with them about your wishes for them to be more generous with your wedding. Tell them that you were hoping for a little more assistance with your big day, and it doesn’t seem fair to you that your sisters are getting more love—both financially and with time—just because they’re heterosexual females and you’re not.

 You didn’t mention your age, but these days, most couples are getting married far beyond their early 20s and are able to pay for more of their weddings than they would be had they just landed their first coffee-fetching job. So less parents are even being approached for help.

 For some readers of  Equally Wed magazine, their parents are paying a percentage of the wedding or just sending checks with a certain amount, rather than paying for something in particular. It’s fair for you to expect your parents to help out more, but it’s also fair to cut them some slack, because they may be floundering and in need of some real guidance from you and your fiancé.

 On the flip side, though, your parents might be coming from a place of bias and animosity that you’re marrying a man, not a woman. Maybe they were hoping this was just a phase, and now that you want to commit the rest of your life to another man, they’re panicking. Again, it’s time to have a “come to Jesus” meeting with them.

 If you don’t get your feelings off your chest with them now, they’ll just continue to fester and possibly explode at the wrong time.

 So either way, you and your folks are overdue for a heart-to-heart. I’d suggest starting the conversation with how excited you are about the wedding, and asking them for their input on a few things (flower colors, best season to wed in, what family members would be good for doing readings), and gauging their response. Then go in for the kill, so to speak, saying something along the lines of, “I’m sensing some reservations from you guys about my wedding…” and leave it open-ended for their response.

Then, if it goes well, you can move into talking about money and time. Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

Kirsten Palladino is the editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s premier same-sex wedding magazine, online at http://www.equallywed.com. Equally Wed offers gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer couples a guide to their weddings, a social community and a marketplace of vetted LGBT-friendly wedding vendors. Follow Equally Wed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/equallywed.