Ask the Expert: Two bachelorettes, one party?

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Q My two best friends are engaged to each other, and I am part of the wedding party.  I want to plan a bachelorette party for my friends, but I’m a little unsure of how to proceed. 

 The traditional bachelorette party is usually a night out without your fiancée, a time to celebrate your last few days of singlehood.  While I think each girl deserves her own special night, they share the same group of friends, so the guest list would essentially be the same for both parties.  Some guests will be travelling from out of town, and I want to be conscious of their budgets for travel and accommodations. 

 Additionally, I’m not sure if I have the resources to throw two awesome parties back-to-back (I just finished grad school).  Is there a way to tastefully plan a single party, or should I go for separate celebrations?  I really want to do something special for my friends before their big day!

A Have you asked them what they want? They may want to have it together, too. I know you’re probably wanting it to all be big surprise, but a short conversation inquiring if they have envisioned their bachelorette party together or not—or would be open to it—will give you the best motivation.

There are absolutely plenty of ways to celebrate them with a single party, while at the same time giving them each the attention that’s so important at one of these shindigs:

Enlist another good friend from your group to be in charge of one of the women’s fun all night, and you take the other.

Make a list of all the things that make each woman special, and brainstorm on ways to honor her that night.

One fun way to bring all these personality traits together is with a scavenger hunt—one for each woman. Perhaps one loves to salsa dance, so one of her challenges would be to find a stranger to salsa with her for one minute at a Latin dance club. And maybe the other one gets a lot of admiration for her rack … so give her the task of getting a woman to give up her bra for a photo. Perhaps one woman loves karaoke, so have the other one sing the karaoke lover’s favorite song.

 The list goes on with fun excursions: Have both women find other women in a club with the same color eyes as a mate (must take a photo) or the same name. Pick up another woman with the same line that worked for you and your fiancée.

 Of course, this is all in good fun, so obviously no one’s trying to really pick anyone up. The spirit of the bachelorette party is celebrating your single days before you’re sworn to one person for the rest of your life.

 But more than that, especially for a couple’s bachelorette party, is having fun with friends and letting loose. How loose you want to go is up to you!

However you plan the night—whether it’s in one place or several—keeping a friend assigned to each woman will ensure that they feel particularly special on this night.

 Try to separate the group a couple of times during the night with each woman going with a different bunch. And during those times, make an extra special effort to make it like a single night out. Maybe at that time you could give her trashy lingerie or boxers with dirty words on them. It all depends on your personalities. Just have fun!

 

Kirsten Palladino is the editor in chief of Equally Wed, the nation’s premier same-sex wedding magazine, online at http://www.equallywed.com. Equally Wed offers gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer couples a guide to their weddings, a social community and a marketplace of vetted LGBT-friendly wedding vendors. Follow Equally Wed on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/equallywed.