Q: Okay, Monkey Man,

the tent scene in Brokeback Mountain…it

was hot, but, uh, not exactly realistic, if you know what I mean. So that got

me wondering, since you kind of have to be gay to know how gay sex is really

done, how do non-gay actors and movie directors do gay sex on screen? Do they

hire a consultant? No, seriously, I want to know! – Jared, Bloomington,

IN

A: The Flying Monkey knows exactly what you mean, and not just about Brokeback Mountain (2005).

Then again, heterosexual love scenes in movies aren’t very realistic either (or

so the Monkey has heard — this may be the one thing that the Monkey doesn’t know).

But what of Brokeback’s

infamous tent scene?

“We didn't hire

anyone,” producer James Schamus tells the Monkey, “but [director] Ang [Lee] is

not shy about his research on everything, from what kind of jeans shepherds

wore back then to what the sex would be. I know he just talked to a lot of his

friends and a lot of folks he met along the way until he was satisfied.”

Schamus is now

co-president at Focus Features, which produced Milk (2008), a

movie that also includes its share of gay sex. Of this film, Schamus says, “I

wasn't actually involved in day to day of Milk,

but I have a feeling [director] Gus [Van Sant, who is gay] didn't need to hire

a consultant!”

Milk director Gus van Sant (left)

Q: Is

there a case where gay actors and/or crew fell in love during the filming of a

movie/TV show, like Brangelina? – Andie, NY

A: No doubt the actual number of such same-sex couplings is legion, but actors are

notoriously circumspect about on-set romances — gay and bi actors even more so.

Still, Sal Mineo reportedly had an affair with director Nicholas Ray on the set of Rebel Without a Cause. Raymond Burr met Robert Benevides, his partner

of more than 35 years, when they were both actors on the set of Perry Mason.

Sal Mineo (left) and Nicholas Ray

Stephen Sondheim and

Anthony Perkins didn’t fall in love while working on The Last of Sheila (1973), which Sondheim wrote and Perkins starred in, but they were a couple.

Anthony Perkins (left) and Stephen Sondheim

And Cary Grant was “roommates” with Randolph Scott when they made My Favorite Wife (1940), but — assuming they were a romantic couple

— they too were together even before the movie.

Randolph Scott (left) and Cary Grant

Next page! Maupin tells more Tales, and Hitchcock Psycho-analyzed for gay tendencies.

Then, of course, there is the case of Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, who met on the set of Supernatural (2005) and have

been hot-and-heavy ever since…IN THE FLYING MONKEY’S DREAMS!

Jensen Ackles (left) and Jared Padalecki

Q: I was happy, but not

surprised to see that Tales of the City

topped your recent 50 Greatest Gay Books poll. I recall reading that Maupin is

at work on an eighth book in the series. True? – Robert, Miami Beach, FL

A: “I’m at work on another one

right now,” Maupin tells the Monkey. “It’s called Mary Ann in Autumn. It’s our girl at 58, trying to reinvent her

life. It’s the old format of the multi-character tapestry [like the first six books, not the last one, Michael Tolliver

Lives]. There’s very little that I need to say that I can’t say through these characters. And I think people need continuity right now.”

Maupin is also delighted that Tales

is about to become a Broadway musical, with a book by Jeff Whitty (Avenue Q) and music and lyrics by Jake

Shears of Scissor Sisters. The show, which covers the first book and the Nevada brothel part of the second book, should be ready

in time for the 2009-2010 Broadway season, hopefully with a pre-Broadway San Francisco debut.

Alas, there are currently no plans for another Tales TV movie, not even a stand-alone version of last year’s Michael Tolliver Lives, which is just

begging for an adaptation.

When can we expect to see Mary

Ann in Autumn? “Oh, God, I have no idea!” the author says. “I just

started.”

Armistead Maupin

Q: Was Alfred Hitchcock gay? – Daniel, Newark, NJ

A: That’s one theory, put forth by Hitchcock biographer Donald Spoto in

his 1983 book The Dark Side of Genius: The

Life of Alfred Hitchcock. But before you accuse Spoto’s title of being

homophobic, the author is really arguing that Hitchcock was a repressed homosexual whose

unacknowledged sexual orientation caused

him to treat the women in his life, personal and professional, in really nasty,

sadistic ways. (In his latest Hitchcock biography, 2008’s Spellbound by Beauty: Alfred Hitchcock and his Leading Ladies,

Spoto claims that the director had sex with his wife only once in 54 years of

marriage, a union that resulted in their daughter.)

So is Spoto right? There are plenty who say no, but the Monkey can’t

resist joining Spoto in giving into the temptation to psychoanalyze the

director from his films. So what do they tell us?

First, Hitchcock loved strong female characters, especially blonds. But did he love them like a gay guy might love Jane Fonda in Barbarella (1968),

or like John Derek loved Bo in Tarzan,

the Ape Man (1981)?

Hitchcock also made a point to frequently include coded-gay characters in

movies like Strangers on a Train (1951), Rope (1948), and North by Northwest (1959) — though, befitting the theory that Hitchcock was a closet case,

they were always the villains, and often repressed and tortured by unattainable

love. True, Hitchcock wasn’t the credited screenwriter on any of his films, but

he was deeply involved in all aspects of their production, including the ways

the actors played these characters, who weren’t necessarily spelled out as gay

in the scripts.

And let’s not get started on the mother of all “mother” movies, Psycho (1960), okay?

Alfred Hitchcock

Was Hitchcock gay? It’s fascinating to speculate, but even the Monkey

doesn’t know for sure!

Next page! Latino TV characters, and the California Musical Theater's Prop 8 PR nightmare.

Q: Am I wrong in thinking there

is a woeful lack of out gay Latino characters on television? – Roberto, Dallas, TX

A: You are seriously not

wrong. There’s Oscar Nuñez’ Oscar, a supporting character on The Office (NBC), Justin Suarez (Mark

Indelicato) on Ugly Betty (who has been obliquely confirmed as being gay, but it’s never come up on the show) and Wilson Cruz’ Evan on Rick and Steve, the Happiest Gay Couple in All the World, who is a

puppet. Cruz also had a very small part

on TNT’s recently concluded Raising the

Bar. And…that’s it.

Clockwise from top left: Wilson Cruz, Oscar Nuñez, Mark Indelicato

Pathetic. Then again, there are still way too few straight Latino

characters on TV as well.

Q:

Oh Flying Monkey…font of endless wisdom, I have a question that I’m sure only

YOU can answer. Actually I’m a bit embarrassed to have to ask, but as a

HUGE fan of AfterElton.com, I am constantly seeing the term IMHO and I’m

ashamed to admit…I have no idea what it means, or what it could stand

for. Please enlighten me. -- Brian, North Hollywood,

CA

A: Remember how in high school your teacher used to say,

“There are no stupid questions”? And you’d think to yourself, “What a great

thing for a teacher to say!” Because it’s true — how could there be a stupid question in the pursuit of knowledge? But

then came that day when your one decent high school teacher, your philosophy

instructor, gave that amazing lecture on whether or not humans possess free

will, and when she was done and you were breathless with the magnitude of it

all, there was that pause before the slack-jawed twit in flip-flops in the

third row raised her hand and asked dully, “Is this going to be on the test?”

And it was all you could do not to track her down her after

class, strangle her, and push her worthless, precious-resource-wasting corpse

into a locker?

Brian, you learned that day that there are stupid questions, waaaay too many of them.

Fortunately, yours isn’t one of them. Slang and

abbreviations have a way of becoming “common knowledge” before everyone is

quite in the know. For years, the Monkey himself didn’t know what “M.R.S.

degree” meant. Or “kitty corner.” Or — and this one is embarrassing to admit —

“French kissing.” Speaking of which, for years the Monkey thought that “fringe

benefits” were “French benefits.” A dental package? Ooh-la-la!

To make a long story short Brian, IMHO stands for “In My

Humble Opinion.”

Q:

Scott Eckern, the artistic director of

the California Musical Theater, gave a thousand dollars to the Yes on

Proposition 8 campaign. Do you think he should be fired? – Aaron, Sacramento, CA

Scott Eckern, artistic director of the California Musical Theater

A: As you probably know by now, Aaron, since you wrote your question, Mr. Eckern has resigned his position.

Truthfully? The Flying Monkey can’t quite fathom how a

person could work in the theater, literally surrounded by GLBT artists, and

then, on his personal time, work to undermine the Constitutional rights of

those same people. Has he never attended any of the plays his theater has put

on — 99 percent of which argue that love is love, and that people should be

judged as individuals?

But if he hadn't resigned, should he have been fired? Absolutely not. As noxious

as they are, these are this man’s personal religious and political beliefs, and

the Monkey doesn’t believe in blacklists or firings for political or religious

reasons. If the McCarthy period taught

us anything, it’s that a person’s artistic work should be judged solely by the

quality of his or her work. Did he personally discriminate against people as the

artistic director of the theater? If so, it would have been necessary to fire his ass. But if his attitudes

didn’t translate into actions, then they were just him exercising his right to free

speech. What do they say? It’s easy to tolerate nice, non-threatening opinions.

By the way, the point of free speech isn’t to do

bigots like Mr. Eckern any favors. It’s because in the end, we’re all better

off. History shows that the best — really the only — way to defeat bad ideas is to confront and debate

them, not to suppress and censor them.

Are there exceptions? Maybe. The Supreme Court has

ruled that our right to free speech doesn’t extend to the right to yell “Fire!”

in a crowded theater (potentially causing people physical harm). I think author

Orson Scott Card’s paranoid anti-gay rantings — and his suggestion we may need

to overthrow the government if it ever grants same-sex marriage rights — come

awfully close to that. But in the Monkey’s opinion, giving money to the Yes on

8 campaign doesn’t even come close to reaching the level of Card’s delusions.

Now that being said, the Monkey is furious at the sudden backlash against the fact that we gay folks are finally exercising our rights to free speech by telling folks like Mr. Eckern exactly what we think of their opinions. Confronting the man and debating his

beliefs, protesting peacefully outside his church, and even boycotting the theater where he worked is not "harassment" and it's definitely not religious discrimination. You can't inject your religious beliefs into the public sphere, trying to impose them on the whole country — but then bristle and withdraw back into your church and cry "religious discrimination" when someone tries to debate those beliefs!