I wonder what the casting process for a show like Bad Girls Club Miami is.  Do the producers let them know they're auditioning to be replacements for replacements for replacements—or do they save that detail for later?  Is there some kind of immense warehouse where they retrieve Bad Girls from storage?

The BGC casting directors will certainly have their work cut out for them after all the shade (and punches) thrown this week:

The House vs Shanae: The original gang finally pops off against Shanae, who they have been terrorizing for four episodes now. Stephanie starts it, but the security guards finish it. “I need a smoke!” screeches Steph after throwing fists, while Shanae pouts to the producers, “I didn't deserve that.” Well, you didn't 'Nae, but you did elect to be on this show and I'm not sure what you were expecting.

Also, how the hell did Stephanie not get removed from the house for throwing the first punch?!

Becky Andrea vs Becky Andrea: Look, I am not comfortable with the latently racist implications of the term “White Girl Wasted” but Becky Andrea gets wasted (by herself!) and is white, so, there's that. Becky Andrea talks to herself in Exorcist mumbles and then falls over a few times. She probably injured herself but was too drunk to notice.

After a quick nap in the confessional she tries to pick a few fights with anyone who breathes within a ten mile radius of the mansion. She complains to Steph about her dysfunctional relationship with her mother, but it does little to garner sympathy among the Fab 4.

Becky Andrea ejects herself from the house before the girls decide to remove her themselves, which is probably the smartest decision made in the history of this show.

 Zig Vs Gigi: Zig is some rando the girls invite over during an asinine pool party. Gigi attempts to molest – I mean seduce him but he can't seem to get it up. Zig complains that he's “too hot” to pop a boner (shady excuse!), but I'm sure the pressure to perform on camera had something to do with it. Yet due to the bizarre narratological restrictions of reality television, he isn't allowed to say that. So, yes, sure, being “too hot” is now a valid medical excuse for erectile disfunction. Why not?

Pleasure P vs The Girls: Z-List rap sensation Pleasure P invites the girls on the shadiest video shoot in cinematic history. A magical diva in leopard print twerks for Jesus in front of a pathetic looking tape recorder, but the whole shoot is shut down by police before the girls have a chance to vogue down. Those pesky permit requirements, always foiling our fun!

To make it up to the girls, he brings a metric butt-ton of liquor to the mansion, and then throws the sum total of my yearly income in dollar bills on the ladies while they dance. Tiana rightly observes that something's not right here: “To me it's still Hollywood. He didn't want to take his shades off. He didn't take his leather jacket off. His underarms is probably sweating.”

Benzy has the right idea, though: “They gotta come back so we can make some more money.”

The Producers Vs My Sanity: As if to reward the Bad Girls for their vile behavior, the producers leave the girls a big box. Since Shangela has a broken leg and can't burst forth from the cardboard, the girls are gifted with a trip to Puerto Rico.

Check back next week when the girls attempt to terraform Mars!