“Bad Girls Club Miami” Recap: Reunion Part 3

Has anyone else noticed that the Bad Girls Club Reunion’s stage floor looks somewhat like the patterns of the Black Lodge, a surreal hell dimension from David Lynch’s Twin Peaks? Much like in the Black Lodge, time is incoherent at the Bad Girls reunion, and the episode starts with a recap of a reunion (filled with recaps), transitioning into a similarly Lynchian claim that Mimi bit Sarah’s vagina.

Anyway, this is final episode of the reunion, finally. Before we can put the Miami girls to rest, we must get through one. Last. Shade. Countdown:

Gigi vs Sarah: “I’m fucking fabulous,” screams Gigi in an attempt to silence Sarah. Stephanie chimes in, telling Sarah to calm down, to which Sarah responds with the retort: “This isn’t the Boring Girls Club, this is the Bad Girls Club.”

Benzy vs Shanae: Shanae was mid-apology when Benzy interrupted with some nonsense about how Shanae wasn’t “there for herself.” Benzy promptly swings, but girl better be careful. Those diamond grills she has on her bottom teeth are not protective mouth guards, as much as she probably wishes they are.

Also, can someone explain what “I was slow,” means? Benzy keeps repeating this but I’m not sure what kind of clarification her statement gives to the situation. “I hop fences!” she similarly proclaims. Not sure what that means either. It’s probably shady though!

Tiana vs RuPaul: “I have to learn to love me before I can love somebody else,” says Tiana. While making an homage to our favorite Supermodel of the World isn’t in-and-of-itself shady, Tiana’s failure to site her source is certainly an act of plagiarism.

Tanisha Vs A Stripper: When Sarah remembers that the reunion takes places during Tanisha’s birthday, she brings out an oversized cake. But when Tanisha realizes that the cake has a stripper inside, she’s a little bit disappointed. I ain’t fat shaming her! Girl just love snacks more than strippers. I don’t blame her!

The show ends with the girls picking up the stack of cash that Sarah threw on the floor, which seems like an adequate metaphor for the entire production. BGC Season 12 and Bad Girls Club All Stars were already teased, but who knows what the future holds in store for us. Maybe the world will be destroyed by then. Hopefully.

Thanks for reading, everyone!

freelance pop-culture blogger (NNN, MTV Iggy, Oxygen) / recovering academic / wannabe club kid / satanic hipster / talentless DJ.