Actress Beanie Feldstein can’t stop gushing about how much she loves her girlfriend, but that wasn’t always the case.
The queer Booksmart star opened up to Teen Vogue for the magazine’s October 2019 cover story about falling in love with another woman for the first time. She recalled meeting her girlfriend, producer Bonnie Chance Roberts, on the set of her latest film How to Build a Girl.
Prior to meeting Roberts, Feldstein’s brother Jonah joked that she was the “Dexter of relationships”—referencing the titular character from Showtime’s dark series about a crime-solving serial killer—because she seemed so icy and unfeeling toward her suitors.
But that all changed when Roberts (pictured below, to Feldstein’s left) entered the picture.
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They say it takes a village to build a girl and they are right! I am honoured to have been under construction with these mega splendid, superhuman townspeople for some time – thank you @tiff_net for helping us take our first steps into the world!! #howtobuildagirl #tiff #worldpremiere
“[Romance] just wasn’t something I thought about or craved,” she told the magazine, adding that when she met Roberts, she thought, “Whoa! Now I get it…. I get why people write songs.”
She noted that it was ultimately falling in love—not falling in love with another woman—that rocked her to her core.
“Not to sound flippant, but I was in love with her and all of her, and she’s a woman,” Feldstein said. “That’s not scaring me or deterring me. And it wasn’t just women in general; it was her specifically.”
The 26-year-old actress also said that she purposefully chose to forgo a major coming-out moment, adding that she doesn’t feel particularly attached to a certain label to describe her sexual orientation. She did, however, acknowledge how powerful and important it can be for LGBTQ celebrities to name and claim their identities. She pointed to nonbinary singer-songwriter Sam Smith, who recently began to use they/them pronouns, as an example.
“I was so moved by that,” she said. “The more stories we have, both personal and fictionalized… it just adds to the effing conversation.”
Head over to Teen Vogue for Feldstein’s full cover story—and look out for the actress in Ryan Murphy’s forthcoming American Crime Story: Impeachment series, in which she’ll portray Monica Lewinsky during the era of Bill Clinton’s infamous White House sex scandal.