Following in the legacy of Sweet Brown, Antoine Dodson and Brendan Jordan, meet Courtney Barnes, a mellifluous, shimmering goddess from Jackson, Mississippi, giving what is sure to be 2015's most magical local news interview about witnessing a terrible car accident, or as Courtney coos, "a horrible, tragic situation."

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Rocking a kelly green ponytail, long green fingernails, gloriously painted brows and a Philadelphia Eagles cap, Courtney recounts–with otherworldly earnestness–witnessing a high speed police chase, which resulted in a policeman spinning out of control and hitting a telephone pole, critically injuring himself.

Some of the best quips from this piece of downright performance art include:

"Girl, he hit the pole! His head went to one side, his body went to the other side, and this is the result. Lord be with this young man! He need a blessing."

"Well, ma'am, I was actually going to buy a piece of burger from Burger King!"

"Ma'am, I just cannot bear to continue to talk."

Then another news station approaches Courtney, who immediately continues to talk.

"It was a full twist-about, and the police car just twist around like a tornado, girl!"

"This police officer doesn't know if his life is going to continue to make it, or he gonna just tap out."

"The police officer's car fishtailed. That's what happened! It fishtailed, ma'am!"

This video is less of an interview, and more of a chorus of trumpets heralding the arrival of an angel on Earth.

All we can say is that the world would be a more beautiful, nurturing place if there were more people as genuinely compassionate as Ms. Courtney Barnes.

You slay us, queen.

Watch the iconic interview below.