There Is Now Bernie Sanders Gay Erotica. Because Of Course There Is

"Aw, yeah, boy. You’ve got the only pipeline I’ll support!"—From "Feeling the Bernie."

The advent of self-publishing has been a boon to the erotica industry. No longer do you have to submit your steamy prose to a publishing house. We’ve seen naughty books about the Oregon militia guys, the blue/white/gold dress and even Kirk Cameron.

Now one civic-minded perv has launched Feeling The Bernie: The Hot Confessions of a Hillary Volunteer.

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In A.A. Andrew’s tawdry tome, a hunky young Clinton staffer finds himself in an Iowa hotel room alone with Bernie Sanders and undergoes a sensual awakening.

“Oh, Senator,” I whispered as tears of joy came to my eyes.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “Yes, yes. It’s completely average.”

Hot stuff.

Below, check out an exclusive (and slightly censored) excerpt from Feeling The Bernie: The Hot Confessions of a Hillary Volunteer.

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“Good, good. We need to keep funding them,” he said as he rolled a Durex over his shaft. “Now I’m going to ask you what I asked America after I voted yes on this bill a few years back.”

“Ask me,” I said as I spat in my hand and lubricated my a**.

“Are you ready for a stimulus package?”

“YES, SENATOR, YES!”
And then Senator Sanders put his c*ck right into my h*le and pounded with all the intensity of a House Republican trying to repeal Obamacare. He took my feet into his mouth and sucked hard on them as he plowed my ****.
“Oh, Bernie, I feel it!”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, I feel the Bern! I feel the Bern!”
“Yeah, take that c*ck, you undecided voter.”
“I’m voting for Bernie Sanders!” I screamed. “Oh, Bernie! Keep f*cking me, Bernie!”
“You like my poll numbers?”
“I love watching you go up and down a poll, Bernie!”
“Yeah, you like that, informed citizen of Iowa?”
“Oh, yes! F*ck me, Bernie, f*ck me! I feel the Bern! I feel the Bern!”
“Aw, yeah, boy. You’ve got the only pipeline I’ll support!”

I looked up at the Senator, and saw his sexy black-rimmed glasses fogging up. A thin film of sweat covered every inch of our bodies, and the connection between us was real, alive, savage. And he was going to transform the country as completely as he transformed my *********.

Look out, Charlotte Brontë.

Dan Avery is a writer-editor who focuses on culture, breaking news and LGBT rights. His work has appeared in Newsweek, The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Advocate and elsewhere.
@ItsDanAvery