The Best (and Worst) of “American Horror Story”

For the past three years, Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk’s gleefully unhinged genre anthology American Horror Story has truly been the television gift that keeps on giving. No other show has delivered the heady brew of laughs, scares, sex, and WTF that AHS serves up on a weekly basis. Nor has any show nurtured such a wonderfully offbeat stable of core performers (Evan Peters, Sarah Paulson, Zachary Quinto, Frances Conroy, Lily Rabe) while delivering some of the best guest stars around (Jessica Lange – still a grand dame Special Guest Star in the classic sense, in my book – Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Danny Huston, Chloe Sevigny, Gabourey Sidibe). What might have started as a sly genre experiment (“Can we really kill off the entire cast before anyone realizes it’s an anthology?”) has evolved into a bold, boundary-shattering, and totally unique meditation on the skeletons in America’s closet – including, to name just a few: racism, homophobia, bullying, religious intolerance, misogyny, infidelity, school violence, and our treatment of the mentally ill and differently-abled.

Fans of the show would likely agree that almost every episode of AHS is worth a watch. But we’ve picked through the entrails of Seasons 1-3 (so far) to highlight a few of the best episodes… and one of the weakest. Let’s sharpen our knives and dig in!

Top 5

5. “Burn, Witch. Burn!” – Season 3, Episode 5


(full recap)

It’s interesting – while the current witch-centered season has been far and away the most popular and commercially successful, it hasn’t been particularly standout in terms of actual quality. Which is fine – not every episode needs to be a game-changer, and they still have four episodes left to really land one if they so choose. But with all this season’s bitchy backstabbings, clumsy race conversation, and zombie porn, “Burn, Witch. Burn!” (named after an excellent film of the same name that we recommended watching before the series kicked off) has been the standout so far for perfectly executing a full-scale undead invasion and making both Nan (Jamie Brewer) and Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) into kick-ass horror heroines, giving otherwise bland Cordelia (Paulson) the gift of second sight, showing Fiona’s (Lange) softer side (in a brilliant scene where she breathes life into a stillborn baby), and giving some due screen time to the gloriously batty Myrtle Snow (three-season vet Conroy) before lighting her up like a Char-Broil. A great balance of scary, campy, and genuinely touching, which this show can do better than any other when it puts its deranged mind to it.

4. “Pilot” – Season 1, Episode 1


(full recap)

Let’s give credit where it’s due – the pilot episode for the show was one of the most buzzed-about of 2011, and for good reason. The first episode of the storyline that was eventually to become known as “Murder House” (though let’s remember that at the time nobody knew the show was an anthology series, the first of many genius twists) broke just about every established rule of televised drama. It was paced like an ADD fever dream, leaving us gasping for breath and struggling to keep track of multiple plot threads from behind shielded eyes. It was extremely violent and legitimately scary, what with the thing in the basement killing the twin kids and the first appearance of Rubber Man and everything. And it of course gave us the image of a bare-assed Dylan McDermott crysturbating onto a baby’s changing table, which could pretty much serve as a primary metaphor for the entire show.

3. “Birth” – Season 1, Episode 11


(full recap)

At the other end (almost) of Season 1, the show really put it all on the table (sorry, Dylan!) in this gut-wrenching episode, where it did the unthinkable: it killed of its leading lady (single-seasoner Connie Britton). “Birth” brilliantly pulled a dozen equally crazy threads together (remember psycho Hayden?¬†Chad and Patrick? the dead nurses from 1968?) and bookended the Harmons’ tragic tale by bringing the family back to the moment of Violet’s birth, even as her ghost watches her own mother die in childbirth and joins her in the afterlife to comfort her. In a season already chock full of “I can’t believe they just did that” moments, this one took the ipecac-laced cake.

2. “Madness Ends” – Season 2, Episode 13


(full recap)

After a bleak, brutal, and meandering second season that left a lot of viewers frustrated or turned off entirely, the “Asylum” season finally – and triumphantly – reached its finish line in the brilliant “Madness Ends,” which found plucky lesbian reporter Lana Winters recalling her trials at Briarcliff and facing down old demons during a late-career interview. It was a bold and inspired way of tying up a season’s worth of mayhem, and it stuck the landing with aplomb. Finally, with the distance afforded us by the gauze of a survivor’s memories, we were able to step back and see the season for what it was: an acid-laced commentary on how mental health is dealt with in America, especially when discussing women and minorities. The finale was as cruel and clear-eyed as it needed to be while still offering some respite for its beleaguered players (Kit Walker, Sister Jude, and even Son of Bloody Face), and Sarah Paulson kicked serious ass as one of television’s – and the horror genre’s – only bona fide LGBT heroes.

Next page: The very best and very worst of AHS!

1. “I Am Anne Frank Part 2” – Season 2, Episode 5


(full recap)

As far as I’m concerned, this episode (the second half of a killer two-parter) is AHS at its absolute best. In the two-part arc, we meet a patient (played by Franka Potente) who believes that she is Anne Frank and accuses Dr. Arden (James Cromwell) of being a Nazi doctor. Lana Winters has come to put her trust in Dr. Thredson (Quinto), allowing him to degrade her with attempts at “aversion therapy” to “cure” her homosexuality, and Kit Walker (Peters) comes to trust Thredson to the point where he confesses to being the serial killer Bloody Face. It all culminates in the most terrifying sequence in the show’s three seasons, when a recently liberated Lana slowly realizes that her savior – Thredson – is actually Bloody Face. She winds up trapped in his basement of horrors, which is capped off by the image of the recently-lobotomized – and therefore “happy” – Anne Frank settling back into her role as wife and mother as the image of Dr. Arden standing beside Hitler stares down at her from a framed photo. This killer one-two punch flipped the entire season on its head, and asked us in stark black-and-white to reconsider exactly what is sane and what is not.

Bottom 1

“The Dead” – Season 3, Episode 7


(full recap)

Again, not to hate on “Coven” and its Vuitton-heeled charms, but the current season has not been the strongest. This tepid ep focused mostly on a tryst between Fiona (Lange) and an undead saxophone player (Danny Huston), and not even Zoe’s threesome with two zombies was enough to make it register on the crazy meter. In fact, both “Coven” and “Asylum” are 13 episodes long, as opposed to the tight 12 of “Murder House,” leaving one to wonder if the enticingly genre-friendly episode number has given the more meandering later seasons a tiny bit too much wiggle room.

So those are our best and worst of American Horror Story. Do you have your own faves and fall-flats?

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Writer-filmmaker Brian Juergens launched, the world's first website devoted to horror films from a gay perspective, in 2003.