Best. Gay. Week. Ever. (January 30, 2009)
I’ve been thinking about sexuality a lot lately, which is different than
thinking about sex, but not by much.
Why are most men the way they are about sex — and so different from most
women? Are gay men different from straight men? And what does the internet have
to do with it?
Interesting questions, no? Even if they're not, the subject of "Male Sexuality" gives me an excuse to write about sex in this week’s edition of the BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!
HOW SEXUAL ARE YOU?
In order to get in the mood, let’s begin with a brief quiz, shall we? (FYI, the quiz program won't let me use "dirty" words — words like "sex".)
MALE SEXUALITY IS A BEAUTIFUL THING
I’ve never been one of those who say, “Men are pigs” — implying that those
of us with “Y” chromosomes are somehow less evolved or less developed than, well,
women.
Or, rather, I do say that men are
pigs, but that this is not necessarily a bad thing.
Yes, men obsess over and often fetishize sex. But women obsess and fetishize
things too!
Case in point: I happened to stumble upon Marie Osmond on QVC the other night.
First, I have to ask: are we really supposed to think those aren’t hair
extensions? Squint your eyes, and all you see are hair and teeth.
Anyway, Marie was flogging something called Marie Osmond Dolls, which I
guess she started making way back in the early 90s, post Donny & Marie and her minor “a little bit country” singing
success, but pre-Dancing with the Stars/Celebrity Duets/70s camp resurgence, when
her career was totally in the toilet.
Her dolls are seriously freaky.
They all have a theme, usually based on some extreme 1950s stereotype, like
“drum majorette” or “happy little baker.” But the theme is really just an
excuse to take a baby or toddler and wildly exaggerate its features, with
enormous eyes and bulbous lips. Then Marie piles on other extreme gender
stereotypes, like puffy princess dresses and perfectly coifed little curls.
Talk about fetishization! These things were seriously creeping me out.
That’s when I realized that I was looking at one female version of porn.
The point is, sexuality makes different things endlessly fascinating. For many
men (and a few women), it’s close-ups of engorged genitalia, run in an endless
loop. For many women (and a few men), it’s babies and Marie Osmond dolls.
You say tomato, I say tomahto.
MARIE OSMOND SEX DOLL!
Oh, come on: you knew I’d end up here eventually, didn’t you? It’s the Male
Sexuality Edition!
But what if Marie did design a sex
doll? It might look something…like…this…
(Just to be clear, Marie Osmond isn't really producing a line of sex dolls,
nor is this doll really modeled to look like her. It's actually one of the
state-of-the-art "RealDoll" models — the same brand of doll featured
in the movie Lars and the Real Girl.)
Next page! Palin by comparison!
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN STRAIGHT MEN
AND GAY MEN
I spent the past weekend with a group of my straight male buddies that I hadn’t seen
since the election. Interestingly, while they all thought Sarah Palin was crazy-scary in her politics, everyone also seemed
to agree that she was one hot MILF.
My first response was, “You’re crazy! The creationism? The ‘abstinence-only’
education and the book banning? Making raped women pay for their own rape-kits —
not to mention those egregious abuses of power?! And what about that voice! How could you find her hot?”
Sarah Palin action figures
The second the words were out of my mouth, I remembered Todd Palin, the First Dude, who is easily just as crazy-scary as his
wife (and probably more so).
And I remembered how I always thought he was kind of hot. Okay, really hot. Same for their daughter’s Bristol’s fiancé, Levi Johnston — at least once the Republican National Committee
threw him in the radiation shower from Silkwood
and scrubbed him clean.
Todd Palin, Levi Johnston
Getty Images/Robert Baker/AFP/Robyn Beck
Which just goes to show straight men and gay men are a lot alike. After all,
gender is gender, and sexuality is sexuality
But gay men and straight men are not completely
the same. And after spending weekends with these same five straight guys
four times a year for twenty years now, I’ve seen the differences firsthand. So
screw gaydar — in the future, if you’re ever wondering about the sexual
orientation of someone, just refer to this handy chart:
(Yes, yes, I know these are gross stereotypes. They’re jokes, people! Okay, I'll stop apologizing for all my jokes now.)
Speaking of straight men…
Next page! Gay for pay. Plus, I was a teenage Catholic.
GAY FOR PAY
The blogosphere was all atwitter this week over the Tyra Banks episode
where she interviewed the straight guys who do gay porn.
There are, of course, those who say that these men are actually gay, that
they sought out work in porn as a way to satisfy desires they can’t admit, but
this has always struck me as really absurd. If they can’t admit they’re gay, wouldn’t
they be a tad reluctant to put the evidence on video? Let’s face it: there are
many much easier ways to have sex with a man — ways, more importantly, that
your mom, grandmother, and high school classmates never find out about.
But you can’t fake something like that, people say.
Actually, yes, you can. Isn’t that what most gay guys do all through high
school? It’s not like sex with something you’re not completely attracted to
feels bad.
That said, while I’m not saying I’ve ever seen a Sean Cody or Corbin Fisher video,
if I had, I might agree that it sometimes looks like they’re really enjoying
themselves. And — how do I say this kindly? Most of these guys don’t seem like
they’re smart enough to be actors that convincing.
I WAS A TEENAGE CATHOLIC
I was raised Catholic. And not just a little Catholic. Really Catholic. Fifteen years of Catholic school, to be exact
(that includes three years of college, lest you think it took me seven years to
get through high school).
It’s hard for me to imagine a set of beliefs that’s more screwed up about
sex than Catholicism’s, except maybe that of those African tribes that cut off
the genitals of little girls.
One day in the eighth grade, we spent a whole week talking about how our
bodies were “temples of God” and that it was really, really important that we never do anything to “dirty” that temple,
or God will be really, really upset.
The nun went on and on about this for most of the week.
It wasn’t until that weekend that I realized she was talking about
masturbation. She could have saved all of us a lot of time by just saying it outright.
But once I realized what she’d been yammering on about, I got very embarrassed because, of course, I
was the only one who was doing that particular activity. And she had a point!
If our bodies really are temples of
God, I’d be pissed too if I was God and there was someone chronically wanking
all over the pews.
How had she known me well enough to write a whole lecture directed at me?
Could nuns read minds?
You did not want to know me in the
eighth grade. You think I’m a neurotic mess now?
The point is, how screwed up is the Catholic Church regarding sex? The
Church teaches that every single sex act must be open to the “possibility” of
pregnancy. That literally means there is one place, and one place only, where a man can have an orgasm: a
woman’s, well, you know.
What does that mean exactly?
No oral sex, at least not to completion.
No masturbation. Ever. Wet dreams are okay, but only if you wake up and feel
really guilty about it.
Only one sex partner your entire life, and no sex or orgasms of any kind
before marriage.
All orgasms even within marriage must end up in … well, that female place.
No “artificial” contraception of any kind — no condoms, no pill, no
diaphragm, nothing. Basically, the Church begrudgingly says you can try to
avoid pregnancy by not having sex during ovulation, but that’s it. (How this is
different from using a condom to reduce the “possibility” of pregnancy is
beyond me, except for the fact it’s far less reliable.)
If you’re partner had sex with someone else and now has an STD, you’re
screwed, because you still can’t use condoms. Even with HIV. Enjoy your AIDS!
If you absolutely don’t want to have kids, or if you’re not ready for them
or can’t afford them, you not only can’t have sex, you can’t even have an
orgasm. Ever.
You think I’m making this up, don’t you? I wish I was. Trust me, I’d be a
lot less messed up.
What’s scary is the Church actually has “reasons” for all these insane rules.
These teachings are all based on something called “natural law” which is — you
guessed it! — these “laws” they just happened to discover that just happen to
coincide with everything they think.
sat down and said, “Let’s see how utterly inane we can make this! It’ll be like
an episode of Punk’d, except we’ll
never say it’s a joke, and it’ll go on screwing people up for two thousand
years!”
And I’m supposed to pretend that this Church or its Pope has any sort of
moral authority whatsoever?
The reality, of course, is that no heterosexual Catholic actually practices
most of this. And yet, they have no problem — see no hypocrisy whatsoever! — in
demanding that gay Catholics follow their rules on homosexuality (no sex or
masturbation anywhere, ever).
Which is ironic because in the eyes of the Church, a Catholic who masturbates,
or has sex before marriage, or uses a condom or practices oral sex to
completion even in a marriage is just
as guilty of violating the exact same “natural law” that we GLBT folk are constantly
accused of violating.
We could point that out the next time the Catholic Church dumps all over us.
I could also tell my cat to stop barfing
on our expensive Persian rug. He’s about as likely to listen.
Next page! Gay men who don't get drag. Plus, safe sex interlude!
DON’T F*** IT UP!
I hate gay men who say, “I don’t get drag,” like it’s some kind of
testament to their masculinity. I’m also getting tired of people who say they
don’t watch reality TV, like it proves they’re smarter than other people.
That said, I don’t get drag, and I’ve (mostly) stopped watching reality TV.
Which is why I was so pleasantly surprised by RuPaul’s Drag Race, the new show on Logo (which owns
AfterElton.com) where nine drag queens compete in a Project Runway or America’s
Next Top Model type show to see who will be the world’s next big drag
queen. RuPaul acts like both a kind Tim Gunn-type mentor (in his male persona),
but also as the final judge and arbiter (in his drag persona).
The series doesn’t debut until next week (February 2nd), but I’ve
previewed the first two eps. What really works about the show is that it has
all the familiar elements of these competitive reality shows, but gives them a
new twist. RuPaul’s catch-phrase, for example, is simply, “Don’t f*** it up!” And
when the girls are whittled down to the final two in each episode, RuPaul gives
them each one last chance to avoid elimination in a feature he calls “Lip-synch
For Your Life!” It’s just like it sounds, and the first time I saw it, I burst out
laughing.
I won’t say the show doesn’t take itself seriously, because it does. The
competition is very real, and there is a lot of backstage drama which means, of
course, that my favorite contestants will probably be eliminated right away,
while the annoying prima-donna-types are going to stick around to the bitter
end. Meanwhile, the guest judges — Bob Mackie, Michelle Williams, Lucy frickin’
Lawless — are pretty impressive for a show that looks to have been made on the
semi-cheap.
RuPaul
But the show has a great sense of humor, most of which is the result of
RuPaul who is, by turn, charming, funny, supportive, and bitchy. He’s very,
very good at what he does.
The show has even given me a whole new insight into the genuine artistry of
drag. Who knew?
BRIEF INTERLUDE REGARDING SAFE SEX
I had a disturbing conversation with a young friend a few weeks ago. I made a
comment about the importance of safe sex, and he said he was safe. But then he
added, “Well, most of the time. Okay, not a lot lately, but I try. It just
feels so much better without.”
When did this even become an option?
I tried to talk some sense into the kid, but it didn’t come out right. Here’s
what I wish I’d said:
I spent the last 20 years of my life working
for GLBT rights, and for the rest of the world to take HIV/AIDS seriously. All
the things folks take for granted today — the pro-GLBT laws, increased sensitivity in the courts and media, the gay teen on Gossip Girl —
happened, in part, because the out members of my generation wouldn’t let it go.
We came out, spoke up, and worked really, really hard to try to change things. In the process, we put up with a whole lot of
crap. People were beat up. Folks lost
their jobs. Friends died.
I don’t care that you take all this for granted; that’s the way the world
works. I don’t want your thanks, because I didn’t do it for you, I did it for
me.
But I sure as hell didn’t do all that work so you could take this
unprecedented freedom and run out and get yourself needlessly infected with an
easily prevented but life-altering virus two years after coming out.
Yes, barebacking feels better. But you know what? Part of growing up, being
an adult, means realizing that you sometimes you don’t get to do everything you
want. That there are serious consequences
to some of our actions — consequences that, for the most part, can be
avoided.
If you younger GLBT folks owe the previous generation anything at all, please
pay us back by caring enough about yourself that you don’t use the freedom we
won for you to make stupid decisions that you’ll end up really regretting for the rest of your probably-shortened life.
The other argument that drives me around the bend, usually made by older gay
men looking to justify their own irresponsible behavior, is this idea that we
have to “respect” those who choose to have unsafe sex with multiple partners,
even if we disagree. They know the risks, and they’re only hurting themselves.
What a load of horses**t.
Next page! Shooting arrows at this week's television.
If these folks were only hurting themselves, that might be one thing. But
barebacking with casual or multiple partners doesn’t just hurt the individuals
involved. It creates skyrocketing health care costs (that we all end up paying for); it creates
drug-resistant strains of the disease that will end up biting us all in the
butt (pun intended); it gives heterosexuals one more reason not to care about
HIV/AIDS and all GLBT causes; and it creates a community ethic where more and
more young people get needlessly infected — not to mention plenty of unsuspecting
spouses and partners.
And don’t get me started on how HIV is only one virus, and that many more
are sure to follow if we don’t stop acting like petulant 9-year-olds.
Unprotected gay sex with multiple partners is wildly unhealthy — far unhealthier than smoking or drinking
or even, frankly, doing crack or meth. It’s akin to exposing yourself to deadly
radiation or swimming in the middle of a lightning storm. So don’t play that
stupid game where you shrug and say, “Oh, well, all of life is a risk!”
Barebacking with multiple partners will never be something gay men will be
able to do without major health risks.
You’ll also never get to have sex with Boris Kodjoe or Bobby Cannavale. Deal
with it.
(And for the record? Getting some naïve, inexperienced, drunk, or high person
to “consent” to unsafe sex while in the heat of passion isn’t exactly my idea
of “choice.” When my heterosexual dorm-mates did this to women in college, I
thought of them as selfish pricks. Guess what I think about the gay and
bisexual men who do this now?)
And yes, all this also applies to the people who produce or buy bareback
porn.
If there’s one thing I don’t like
about male sexuality, it’s that the start of an erection apparently reduces the
flow of the blood to the part of the brain where people actually try to make all the
above-mentioned irrational, self-serving arguments, and that other people
actually take them seriously.
IN MY HUMBLE OPINION
Kind of a slow week this week in TV land. Next week will be more hopping
with Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters back. Fortunately for
B&S, someone else will be doing the column next week!
Game: An athlete is
“outed” by a vengeful ex-wife, but no one really believes it … or do they?
Suddenly the would-be gay guy has to deal with all the resulting homophobia. The
whole thing was pretty politically incorrect, and the “It’s Raining Men” sequence
made no sense whatsoever (was it supposed to be real?). But it was a pretty
damn interesting examination of homophobia in sports — especially knowing they’ll
be a part two this Friday.
he’s so irresistible, forcing her to question her lesbianism? Then this week
they totally waste Jennifer Coolidge? How is that even possible? This show hasn’t just jumped the shark — it’s jumped Shamu.
and Steve: This episode didn’t have quite the edge of
the others this season, but having the audience vote as to who is the real father
of Kirsten and Dana’s kid looks promising. I’m voting for someone other than Rick or Steve, if only because
it’ll makes us ask what the hell Dana has been up to. Sleeping with Nip/Tuck’s Christian, perhaps?
amazing (duh), but Rose Byrne is just as good. And who knew Ted Danson could
act? Then there are the hotties like Peter Facinelli, Noah Bean, and Tate
Donovan, and this year’s Timothy Olyphant. I want to be the casting director on
this show!
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING?
Is it ever possible to have too much sex? It is if you’re a sex addict. All snickering
aside, it’s actually very serious problem for many people.
New York Times writer Benoit Denizet-Lewis recently came out as a gay sex addict in an eyebrow-raising newspaper
essay.
Now he’s released a book, America
Anonymous, in which he follows the lives of eight people addicted to
various vices—drugs, shoplifting, sex, and food. But Denizet-Lewis also bookends
his profiles with a chronicle of his own struggle with sex addiction. For a
topic that’s as complicated and misunderstood as this, it’s the perfect
approach.
Recently, I had a chance to talk to Benoit about addiction. Since this is
Male Sexuality Edition of BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!, I made sure to ask him what he
thinks about sex addiction among gay men.
Benoit
Denizet-Lewis
Next page! The NYT essayist on gay sex addiction.
AfterElton.com: I’m not sure how
public you were about your sex addiction, but after you published your book and
the New York Times essay, the whole
world now knows. Are people treating you differently?
Benoit Denizet Lewis: Most of my friends knew — pretty much all of my
friends and my family knew about my addiction because I’ve been in recovery
since 2002. It was certainly a big move to write about it in this book and then
to write about it in the New York Times.
Once I decided I was going to write a book about addiction, I sort of felt like
I had to be honest in that way.
I’ve gotten like 300 emails from my New
York Times piece from people who were thanking me for doing it. I got an
email – probably one of the most touching emails – from a 19-year-old kid who
was saying, “I’m a good person I have all these friends. I’m in school. I do
well. But when I’m not with people, I can’t stop going into chat rooms, I
cannot stop looking at pornography. I can’t stop meeting people on the Internet
for sex. It’s just like taking over my life. I can’t stop doing it.” And he
just told me that he just found out he was HIV positive.
AE: I’m curious, what do you think, looking
at the way the gay community views sex, from the point of view of an addict,
what do you say? On one hand, it’s great that there is less shame and there is
sort of a pro-sex approach, but on the other hand, is the community encouraging
some of these behaviors that are unhealthy for even someone who isn’t an
addict?
BDL: Yeah, it’s really, really complicated. I think most gay men, most men
in general, but let’s focus on gay men, tend to relate to feeling out of
control at some point in their life around sex and relationships. Most gay
men who are not addicts have spent a little longer looking at pornography than
they wanted to, spent longer in a chat room than they had planned, or maybe
showed up late to dinner with friends because they were hooking up. I think
that many gay men can relate to some of this.
Now, most gay men are not sex addicts. When many gay men come out of the
closet, if they are living in an urban gay area, there is sort of this moment,
whether it’s a month or a year or three years, when some tend to go a little
crazy with sex, and that might sort of look like sex addiction, but it’s
probably not. With that said, I think that there are a lot of gay men who are
struggling with this addiction, and they’re struggling with it and it’s very
confusing because, you know, gay culture is founded on the idea that we can
have sex wherever, whenever and with whomever we please. Urban gay culture is
highly sexualized. It’s just sort of part of our culture. It’s a part of our
lives, and so I think it can be confusing for people to try to figure out where
that line is. Sex is a great thing. I just know that for a lot of gay men it
turns into something very destructive. And for me it certainly did and I know
for a lot of other gay men, it does as well.
It’s complicated, because as gay men, many of us grew up feeling shameful
around our sexuality and we shouldn’t have felt shameful, but it’s inherently
traumatic to grow up gay in this country. What do we learn as kids? We learn –
it’s getting better now, but what did I learn and what did many men my age –
I’m 33 – my age and older learn? We learned compartmentalization. We learned
shame around our sexuality. We learned how to lie. We learned how to pretend.
We learned how to sort of fake it, in a sense. We learned all these sort of
unhealthy coping mechanisms around our sexuality. So it’s not surprising to me,
because we had to learn all these things and because we weren’t sort of
validated – many of us weren’t – we weren’t validated for exactly who we were
that many gay men struggle with addiction.
AE: How does the gay community
configure itself in such a way that it encourages healthy behavior? Or maybe it
isn’t about the community at all, it’s all about individuals, but what are the
things that the community should do? Where does Manhunt.com fit into all this?
BDL: I really try to refrain from saying what the gay community needs to do
or should do. I mean, we need to look at our childhood trauma – many of us come
out of the closet and assume we are over all that, but in many ways, it still
runs us. So I think we really need to look at that, and many gay men do – often
they don’t start doing it until their 30s or 40s, but looking at this trauma,
this not feeling good enough, not feeling worthy, not feeling loveable for who
we are. Many of us struggle with those things, but we don’t realize we are
struggling with them.
Sites like Manhunt, I have mixed feelings. I don’t want to tell anyone what
to do. If you look at the statistics of Manhunt, [a recent news article] said
it was the second stickiest website, which means of all websites in this
country, that people spend the most time on there. The other one, the first one
was a gambling website.
I do know that I have some frustration with sites like that just because I
know that for a lot of gay men, it becomes a very addictive medium. I mean the
Internet is incredibly addictive to start with. [And they keep] us more and
more isolated. There is this weird thing that’s going on in gay culture right
now, this idea that I am going to go out to bars and clubs with my friends and
stay in my little circle there, and when I’m going to look for sex, I’m just
going to go online. And I don’t know how healthy necessarily that is. We’re by
ourselves, in our little room, isolated from each other from night to night to
night, looking for this online and there’s this problem with all of this
technology in a sense that we feel like we’re more connected to each other, but
if you’re living online all the time, you’re actually not connected. It’s a
false sense of connection.
AE: I wonder if the reason why you
looked at the lives of eight other addicts for your book is to try to find some
answers about yourself.
BDL: Yeah, I think, certainly. Again, I was trying to come up with, sort of
understand why do some people die from their addictions and other people get
sober and lead fulfilling lives? Why was I addicted to sex? How did that
happen? Why can I take or leave drugs or alcohol, but I am addicted to sex? I
was fascinated by that. I’m still fascinated by that. How did that happen?
We can learn a lot from the people I wrote about. But addiction is very
complicated. There’s a lot of people who try to pretend that it isn’t, that
there’s one solution that’s going to fit everybody, or that there’s one book –
if you read this book, you’ll cure your addiction in six weeks. It’s all
bullshit!
AE: The title of the book is America Anonymous. Is addiction
perceived or treated differently in America? How are our attitudes better or
worse here in America?
BDL: Well, at least we talk about addiction more in this country. We’re
sort of a leader in addiction research, even though we don’t spend nearly
enough money on it, and we talk about addiction in a really dysfunctional way
in this country. We talk about the war on drugs endlessly, which is
staggeringly ineffective and unjust, but we don’t talk much about addiction.
Addiction is our costliest and most misunderstood public health crisis by
far.
Addiction triggers or exacerbates many of our biggest problems, whether it’s
skyrocketing health care costs, whether it’s crime, whether it’s poverty,
whether it’s the spread of HIV and AIDS, whether it’s broken families, whether
it’s overcrowded prisons and jails, whether it’s our backlogged criminal justice
system – all of these things are profoundly affected by untreated addiction,
but we don’t look at it that way. And that’s really what I’m hoping to change
with this book.
Next page! Topher Grace resurfaces. Plus, Zellweger is New in Town.
AE: One of the things that confuses
me about the whole recovery movement is: what is the difference between taking
responsibility for one’s actions and sort of acknowledging at the same time
that this is a disease and it’s sort of out of my control. Where is the line
there?
BDL: Yeah, that’s a really interesting question. I don’t know what the line
is. I have to say that I take full responsibility for my actions. Even though I
have an addiction, and even though I feel I was powerless over some of these
things, I was certainly powerless over my addiction, I have to take full responsibility
for my actions and for what I’ve done, and I do. I hurt people with my
behavior. I hurt boyfriends. I hurt friends. I hurt family members. You know, I
hurt myself more than anyone, so I can take responsibility for that, and at the
same time, I can also take responsibility for my recovery.
I think on the one hand, you have to take responsibility for your recovery,
but at the same time be clear that my willpower alone is not going to be enough
to stop this. I tried to use willpower for many years to stop my behavior.
Every morning I was like, “All right, I’m not going to do this again. I don’t
want to hurt my boyfriend again. I don’t want to hurt myself again.” And that
didn’t work, so it’s very complicated, this whole notion of willpower and
responsibility.
I have an addiction – it sucks that I have to talk so much about my
addiction because I’m many things other than an addict. I’m an athlete. I’m a
writer. I’m a friend. I’m a son. I’ve got all these other things. Right now, I
guess I’m the sex addict.
Here’s more information on Benoit’s
terrific book.
FOR YOUR TV-VIEWING PLEASURE
The “closeted jock” storyline returns this week on DeGrassi: The Next Generation
(various air times, check local listings)
There’s a new episode of United States of Tara on Sunday
where gay teen Marshall crushes on a straight guy who — yikes! — happens to be
a Hell House-loving fundamentalist.
Keir Gilchrist as Marshall on The United States of Tara
Also look for a new episode of Ugly Betty on Thursday.
Sports fans also have a big weekend to look forward to with the finals of the Australian Open and the Super Bowl both taking place. Don't worry if you can't catch the Big Game, AfterElton.com editor Michael will be tweeting it. Okay, not the game -- the commercials. You know, the fun stuff! That means this would be a great time to sign up to receive all of our tweets which you can do here.
FOR YOUR MOVIE-GOING PLEASURE
Topher Grace has finally resurfaced,
along with Michael Ian Black (one of
the gay demons on Reaper), in Young
Americans, about an aimless college grad and his pursuit of his dream
girl at a wild Labor Day Party. It looks like vanity project, co-written by
Grace, but not all vanity projects suck. It opens today.
Topher Grace
Renee Zellweger is back too, in New
in Town, a romantic comedy
co-starring Harry Connick, Jr.,
and co-written by out screenwriter C.
Jay Cox (who wrote and directed Latter
Days). It’s the story of a Miami businesswoman who has to reinvent herself
as a small town gal. Basically, it’s the exact opposite story of the 2002 hit Sweet Home Alabama, also written by Cox. Get it?
Harry Connick Jr. & Renee Zellweger in New In Town
Next page! Richard LeMay talks Whirlwind. Plus, hot guys in speedos.
Finally, out this week on DVD is Whirlwind, micro-budget film about a
group of thirtysomething gay men and Drake, the handsome stranger who
infiltrates their lives in order to create nothing but havoc. I was very
impressed by the acting (especially by Desmond
Dutcher as JD) and the story, especially the touching, satisfying ending
that doesn’t go the Glenn-Close-being-drowned-in-a-bathtub route.
The cast of Whirlwind
I recently got a chance to ask writer-director Richard LeMay (200 American) a couple questions about
the film.
Richard LeMay
AfterElton.com: What was the
inspiration for the film? Please tell me Drake isn't based on real life!
Richard LeMay: The
inspiration was to make a story about 30-something gay men, (which you don't
see very often) and depict them as honestly as possible. There definitely
comes a time as a gay man when you step back and re-think who you are and where
you're going.
As far as Drake goes, there was a "friend" who came into my little
group a couple years ago and basically lied about everything (and I mean
EVERYTHING) in his life, to the point where we all realized that after a year
and a half, we knew nothing of this person we believed to be a friend. It
was a little unsettling.
AE: The point of the film
seemed to be "together we stand, divided we fall" — that when Drake was able to isolate them
and play on their insecurities, he "wins."
RL: I think that it is more that these guys haven't even started dealing
with their own individual issues before Drake enters their lives. Once
they realize their problems aren't so much with each other as themselves, they
start to deal with Drake. Personally, I think that if anyone tried
to do that to my group of friends, I'd flip out. My friends are
everything to me.
FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE
I’ve enjoyed the Donald Strachey
books (and the here! TV’a adaptations of four of them). But who knew “Richard Stevenson” (the pen name of
writer Dick Lipez) was still writing
them? Death Vows (MLR Press, $14.99) the latest, came out in 2008,
and as always, the series is taking on topical gay issues — same-sex marriage
in this case. A tenth title in the series,
The 38 Million Dollar Smile, comes out this summer.
Say what you will about the up-and-down quality of Will & Grace, the
show had a huge impact on both television and society. Now author Corinne Marshall has gathered
everything you ever wanted to know about the show in The Q Guide to Will & Grace
(Alyson Books, $12.95). How many boyfriends did Will and Grace actually have?
Grace had nine (including Jeremy Piven, Woody Harrelson, Ken Marino, Ed Burns,
and Eric Stoltz) and Will had five (played by Chris Potter, Patrick Dempsey,
Dan Futterman, Bobby Cannavale, and Taye Diggs). In short, both Will and Grace
had very good taste in men!
BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
For a Male Sexuality edition of B.G.W.E., there weren’t nearly enough pictures
of nearly naked men. So here are a few more:
Finally, those of you that are very observant might have noticed we launched
a new Community hub yesterday, which you
can get to by clicking on the "community" tab in the header at the
top of every page. It's not super hubb-y yet — we'll be adding more content to
it over the next few weeks and months — but it's a start! Register or log in to
see a personalized version of the page that shows your friends' status
headlines, topics you've commented on, and who's online.
That’s it for this week! Go now and have the BEST.GAY.WEEK.EVER!
