“Big Brother 15” Predictions: Who Will Win BB15?

It can be hard to admit you love Big Brother after recognizing that half the cast is a racist squad of frightening losers. But you know what’s easy to love? The look on David’s cartoon jock face when he discovered he was voted out of the house. He was dumbstruck. He was also just dumb, so I might be confusing the two. When Julie Chen sat down with David, he absently spouted something about being “smart,” and I just pointed and giggled like the Duck Hunt dog. David was tragically unfit for the machinations of Big Brother, but I wish him good luck and hope he gets over Aaryn soon because her employers sure have.

Since we’re now officially in the thick of the game, I thought I’d take this recap to formalize some predictions for the season. Who’s going to win Big Brother 15? Here are my predictions of the final rankings; educate me in the comments with your disagreements.

15. Candice

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She’s (seemingly) disliked by everyone in the house. Usually within the first few weeks, agreed-upon outcasts get the boot. Candice is also the only member of the household who I simply cannot imagine winning the game. No gameplan, no edge. Gone.

14. Helen

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I like Helen, but the Svengalis of the game will surely want to eliminate intelligent competitors. Helen would be the correct place to start.

13. Aaryn

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Aaryn has some gamesmanship wits about her, but I sincerely believe she is too racist and offensive to last long. I’m expecting tantrums soon. I’m also expecting her to go to jail for being named “Aaryn.”

12. Judd

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Yes, I predicted Judd would go far at one point, but he’s not a part of the fearsome Moving Company alliance, and I think that spells his doom. He’s not very skilled and doesn’t seem crafty enough to outwit or outplay other houseguests. Sigh. There was potential, at least at one point.

11. Kaitlin

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I just don’t like this person. She’s pushy, yet apathetic. No.

10. Andy

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This is a pessimistic wager for Andy, especially since I think he’s truly smart (in a Big Brother-applicable way) and could even defy the Moving Company with smart gameplay. I worry he’s just an inoffensive option for elimination who will be discarded early for that reason. He doesn’t have much in common with last season’s gay king Wil, but in this area they’re quite similar.

9. GinaMarie

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She’s good for a quote (and some racism too, unfortunately), but I’m waiting for GinaMarie to prove herself canny. Not seeing it yet.

8. Jeremy

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Total clod. His alpha instincts could serve him well, but I feel like others will gang up on him — and with good reason. He says things like “meat wallet” about female genitalia. Yikes. Hope he’s shipped out.

7. Howard

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Howard is aligned with the right people, but he’s not a dominating member of that alliance. I believe he’d double-cross his co-conspirators to strike up other teams, though. Hopefully he can do it swiftly — and with zero mentions of his Christianity — as possible.

6. Amanda

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Amanda is humane, funny, likable, and an OK game player. I want her to last awhile, but I’d settle for her outlasting Jeremy.

5. Spencer

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Dolt? Check. Racist? Check. A number of other things I hate? Check. But Spencer is such a nonthreatening dude in good standing with the right comrades. Smart enough to win? Heavens no.

4. Jessie

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Jessie is grating to no end, but she strikes me as fine pawn material. She’s the Porsche of season 15, but with less self-awareness (somehow).

3. McCrae

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If anyone is ranked too highly on this, it’s McCrae. He handled his HOH status awkwardly and kicked off an unnecessary rift with Elissa by backdooring her. That is sloppy. I trust his smarts, but I don’t trust his ability to stay collected and clever under pressure.

2. Elissa

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Why wouldn’t Elissa have a long life in the game? Her popularity is something that can be harnessed and utilized to make big game moves. McCrae has noted that she’ll probably be in the competition for awhile. Let’s see if she can progress in the season without resorting to her sister’s insanity.

1. Nick

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This is an obvious pick. He’s smart, a great physical challenger, and manipulative. I think he might be thrown over in a coup, but so far Nick has displayed a passion for winning and gift for schmoozing. That’s what I’m talking about.
Your turn. Who will win BB15?