Remember when we lined up Big Brother’s new cast and tried to like them? That was dumb of us. We should’ve waited an extra 13 seconds for half of them to burst with homophobic, racist, and misogynist epithets, then called off our noble welcome wagon and cried by ourselves. Silly us!
Indeed, Big Brother 15 is turning out to be one of the most casually offensive casts we’ve seen in a long time. We didn’t witness much of their uncouth ways on Sunday’s episode (though we did see everyone finally figure out that Elissa is Rachel Reilly’s sister, a case that surely would’ve stumped Hercule Poirot), but thanks to the power of the internet’s studious Big Brother transcribers, we have a comprehensive record of everything horrible uttered on the show’s live feeds. Here are five prime offenders and their offenses, courtesy of Jokers.
•Regarding Candice: “Be careful what you say in the dark, you might not be able to see the b*tch.”
•”I want to put a washcloth over her face and pour water over it.” (6/30 7:42pm C1/2)
•Aaryn was complaining about the Asian women who do her nails and imitated their Asian accent. Helen was right outside too.
•Said she was so drunk she made Asian eyes (6/30 ~5:20PM)
•About Helen: Dude, shut up, go make some rice (6/30 1:14AM)
•Andy will get MVP because people love the queers (6/29 11:40PM)
•No one’s going to vote for whoever that QUEER puts up re: Andy
•Quick to correct Candice’s pronunciation of “ask” (as opposed to axe) but is fine with GM saying it as axe
•Bragged about making Asian eyes in the DR
This girl is a horrible pox. She’s the kind of racist and homophobe who not only suspects she is right, but also suspects she’s funny (?!?) and that everyone agrees with her. Dear Aaryn: It’s hard to agree with someone who doesn’t really have thoughts.
•Says the C word at 6/29 4:35-4:36am Cam 3 and again 6/29 4:41am Cam 3
•Candice laid her head on Spencer’s shoulder and he said “Sure you’re not gonna get my shirt greasy?”
•Praised the Nazi doctors
•Called Helen Kim Jong Un
•calls Andy Kermit the fag to his face (6/29 ~4:40pm)
•Called women the c-word
•Says “Bitch, get your ass cooking” (6/30 ~1:57pm)
God help you with this one. “Kim Jong Un”? “Kermit the fag”? And Nazi doctors? You have to try to be that idiotic. Saying anything about Nazi doctors in the camera-festooned Big Brother house is a Bynes-level stunt. Unfortunately, Spencer is a member of the prevailing alliance in the house with Nick (who I really like), McCrae (who is still Project Runway’s Kara Janx, as far as I can tell), Howard (who is fine and fiiiiine), and Jeremy (who is a misogynist, bien sur).
•Candice is on the dark side because she already is dark (6/30 ~7:45pm)
•Calls welfare “nig***” insurance (6/30 1:16PM Cam 1/2)
•Said blacks stick together and that they’re “tokens” in the house (6/30 ~4:18AM)
•Candice’s “blackness” is showing now that she’s not on the block (6/30 ~4:20AM)
•They should make Helen’s eyes “straight”
•Said something about weaves being ghetto and then looked at Candice (6/29)
•Helen should kiss their asses and serve them rice (June 29, 2:42pm Cam3)
•Told Nick in the lounge that the way Candice talks is fake because she talks too white (6/29)
•Said that Candice had that black thing going. intimating that she was getting ghetto (1st night of feeds)
•Mocked Candice’s voice in a stereotypical fashion
I am actively frowning at the ugly, cruel-for-no-reason stuff here. Also: Who taught this woman the word “token”? Being black is not the same thing as being a token. However, being a loud, dumb racist qualifies you as a token example of why people hate America, so there’s that.
•Said “nigga” but not in a reference to black people but more like “dude” (6/27 3:28AM C3)
•says Candice came at her acting aggressive and she was thinking Candice’s black side was coming out (6/27 ~5:47AM)
•Said “Gays are untrustworthy in a game like this”
Since Andy, the house’s one out gay castmate, is awesome, I’m taking her last comment there more to mean, “Gays are untrustworthy in a game like this — the only people you can trust are idiots.”
Refreshing to see a man attempt to woo a woman on his same intellectual level. Too bad “meat wallet” is a repulsive thing to say, and now he deserves no one. Not even that beach ball.
Oh, and David uttered that the sheets were dirty because “black Candice” was on them. There’s that too. There’s all of this! There’s this and us and everyone. There’s always Big Brother, and no one can predict how awful it’s going to be except George Orwell, who would probably argue that you can’t veto a caultural apocalypse.