American Horror Story is a creepfest. I mean, I don’t know what is going to happen on that show but it is equal parts scary and awesome. And you know what else is scary and awesome (and drunken)? Halloween!
So for this trip down broke-ass Halloween lane, we will explore how to attire yourself as the lovable rapist of America’s favorite horror show, Rubber Man. And for less than 5 bucks!
What You Will Need:
4 Black Trash Bags ($4 bucks or less for a small box at the pharmacy. Buy generic, you snob.)
Thick Clear Tape ($1 buck at the dollar store.)
An Empty Bladder
Scissors (You can find some I am sure.)
Black boots (Everyone has a pair.)
How To Put It Together:
1. Go to the bathroom.
2. Go again. You sure you don’t have to go?
3. Put one trash bag on torso, making holes for head and arms.
4. Cut 2 trash bags in half lengthwise for both arms and both legs. Place them on, and over the tops of the feet and hands, and tape shut. Also tape to torso bag. Make it fitted and tight, this isn’t amateur hour.
5. Place final trash bag over head, cutting just eye holes. use as much as needed so it looks awesome but you don’t die. Tape to torso bag.
6. Place a strip of tape over your already covered mouth (I don’t know why, it isn’t my costume).
7. Put boots on over bags on legs.
8. You have to pee now, don’t you.
So there you have it, the cheap way to be Rubber Man. You can’t speak all night but that’s fine as you also can’t drink and no one wants to hear what a sober person has to say on Halloween. Also, this costume will last about 30 minutes before you become annoyed and rip it off anyway.
Long story short, take pics of your awesome suit early then rip it off and get to boozing.