The show opens at Lena’s sad little studio apartment. Well, “sad” by Walker family standards. By my standards it’s actually pretty posh. Lena is curled up on the futon/couch/bed making out with Tommy.
Tommy looks like he’s filming a Hanes commercial because he’s padding around in a t-shirt and boxer shorts. I think these two must be post coitus because all Lena wants to do is cuddle, and Tommy can’t wait to get the hell out of there. She tries to entice him to stay with promises of waffles in the morning, but that’s not a strong enough inducement – no doubt he’s got Eggos in the freezer at his place. Besides, Tommy has to get home and wait for Julia to maybe, possibly call and remind him what a lousy husband he is and that he murdered their son by opting not to divvy up Baby Cabbage’s kidneys.
Cut to Sarah’s house. She’s reading bedtime stories to her kids via cell phone. Oh God, what a bore. No wonder they took her kids away. She finishes torturing Cooper and goes on to Paige.
Sarah: …Looks like we’re up to the Whomping Willow.
This just in: J.K. Rowling announces that the Whomping Willow is gay!
Even that breaking news isn’t enough to perk Paige’s interest. These Potter readings via cell phone are really eating into her anytime minutes. Paige begs off the bedtime story and hangs up.
Cut to McAllister on his private jet. He’s slouched down in his seat settled in for an overnight flight. He’s in that fitted blue dress shirt he always wears, only now it’s getting all rumpled. Too bad he didn’t bring some pajamas with him. He’s on the phone with Kitty.
McAllister: You’re not still at the office are you?
She is, but pretends otherwise. He asks how she’s feeling. She says she’s really exhausted and fighting the urge to vomit. Oh hey! I almost forgot that as of last week’s episode she was pregnant. I guess they’ll have to move up their wedding date if McAllister wants to be a viable presidential candidate. Presidential hopefuls don’t generally have babies out of wedlock.
McAllister: I wish I was there so I could hold your hair back when you puke.
Puke what? Kitty hasn’t actually eaten anything since 1992.
Kitty: Operation puppy is proceeding as planned.
McAllister: Do we have to call it that?
Kitty: Operation “shotgun wedding because the condom broke” just doesn’t have the same ring.
Kitty tells him she’s getting Nora to do the wedding planning, and he asks if she’s figured out how to handle the press fallout from “operation puppy.” She says she’s got it covered but fails to give details.
On cue, there’s a tap on her door and Danny Glover pokes his head in. And you know what that means. That means everybody run because the toilet is rigged to explode! (Sorry, couldn’t resist an obscure Lethal Weapon 2 reference.)
Kitty is all excited to see Danny Glover. I’m a bit less enthused. Glover is playing “Isaac,” a devious political strategist along the lines of Karl Rove. Now wait, I thought campaign staffer Travis was a devious political strategist along the lines of Karl Rove? Do we really need two Karl Roves on this show?
Isaac: So you’re finally collecting, huh?
Kitty: I told you I would.
Isaac: Stupid move on my part. I get you to keep quiet about my candidate’s offshore accounts and the idiot still loses the election!
Whoa. Back up the truck. So let’s see, back when Kitty was a “journalist” she failed to report on a crooked politician just so she could extract a future favor from a high-powered political strategist? This was before she ever met McAllister – so why in the world did she think she’d need the services of a political strategist? And setting aside her motives, isn’t this apparent quid quo pro far worse than that time last year when she went “easy” on McAllister during an interview so he might pull some strings to get Justin discharged?
Seems like back then she could’ve skipped sucking up to McAllister altogether and just called in her favor with Isaac to get Justin out of serving in Iraq.
All these questions and contradictions leave me dizzy and disheartened. Surely the writers could do better than this Isaac character? But things go downhill from there.
Kitty tells Isaac that she needs his help with a PR issue. She hems and haws and finally comes out with the news that she’s pregnant.
Isaac: With that build up I thought your guy was busted for playing footsy with a state trooper in an airport bathroom.
Oh, I wish. That would have been a far more interesting plot twist.
Kitty asks him if the pregnancy is anything to worry about. Frankly, it’s almost impossible to decipher Isaac’s response. (Throughout this episode Danny Glover slurs, lisps, and mumbles his dialog in a monotone stage whisper. It is frustrating as hell. I’m going to call him Mr. Mumbles.)
In so many indecipherable words, Mumbles tells her to be worried. A Republican politician having an out of wedlock baby?
Mumbles: Is perry scamanous in som parts of the cunchy.
I have no idea what that means, but the gist is Kitty and McAllister need a high-powered spinmeister such as himself.
Mumbles: Wa bo wants tuba preziden geshow butts donut shetty hall.
That is an exact transcription. I’m not making this up. What has happened to Danny Glover? Has he had a stroke or something? Or can he really not be bothered to enunciate his dialog?
The gist of Isaac’s mumblings is that he wants Kitty and McAllister to get married this weekend. No time to waste.
Cut to Chez Frou Frou, the restaurant where Scotty works as an unpaid intern. We find him in the employee locker room/walk-in refrigerator/diaper changing area. He’s changing his apron between meal services. What a dreary life this boy leads.
Kevin comes in. Scotty is surprised to see him. Kevin says he’s tried his home and cell and all are disconnected. Then he went by Scotty’s apartment and found out he no longer lives there. Why is Scotty ducking his calls?
Scotty: I just spent the last hour deboning quail, and now I’m moving on to chicken so now is not the best time.
Kevin (like me) looks flabbergasted that anyone would make a career out of deboning anything.
Kevin: Okay, fine, I get it. You’re mad about the whole Saul thing, but you know disconnecting your phone and moving is a little extreme even for you
Scotty: This may come as a shock, but what’s happening to me has nothing to do with you.
Scotty explains his tuition was due so he wound up getting evicted. Last night he slept in his car.
Scotty: Turns out being a cooking student and an apprentice chef isn’t a road to financial freedom.
Kevin can’t believe Scotty didn’t call him for help.
Kevin: I’ve got an inflatable mattress – you should come stay with me.
Oh, I hate those things. They are uncomfortable to start with, and they invariably get a slow leak, so you wake up at four in the morning totally deflated with your butt on the floor. The only thing air mattresses are good for is making sure houseguests don’t overstay their welcome. Me, I think Scotty’s better off in the back seat of his Ranchero, but he takes Kevin up on his offer.
Kevin: I have a boyfriend and I’m in love so…
Scotty: And your missionary won’t mind?
Kevin: If he’s going to be looking after poor schoolchildren in Malaysia, the least I can do is shelter a struggling culinary artist.
Cut to the Walker mansion. Justin is in a faux vintage tee popping yet more pills. God, how much medication did he steal from that poor, injured vet back at the VA hospital two episodes ago?
He barely has time to swallow his pills and pocket the bottle before Rebecca and Nora come stomping in with bridal magazines. They are talking about Kitty’s wedding and table centerpiece ideas.
They notice Justin looking groggy and unfocused. Nora asks if he’s all right.
Justin: Didn’t get a lot of sleep. Thank God for Skinemax.
Nora: Oh, that’s nice.
Nora asks him what he thinks of hydrangeas for a table centerpiece, and he takes it as his cue to leave. Apparently, Cinemax is running a Red Shoe Diaries marathon.
Nora: He seems a bit down, doesn’t he?
Rebecca: His life pretty much consists of physical therapy and more physical therapy.
And cable soft porn. Don’t forget that.
Nora: He really needs to have some fun. You don’t happen to have any single, attractive friends do you?
Funny you should ask. Rebecca does have an attractive friend. Lena. And I hear she puts out, too!
The phone rings. It is Kitty. Nora starts to run the hydrangeas or white orchids debate by her, but Kitty tells her there has been a change of plans.
Cut to McAllister’s office. Kitty is holding a meeting with Mr. Mumbles and the rest of the staffers. Mumbles is having it out with Travis over the decision to move up the wedding.
Travis: We lose an opportunity for media coverage. Everybody loves weddings.
Mumbles: Um surrey. Whesher nem again?
I’m assuming Mumbles asked what his name was, because Travis says “Travis.”
Mumbles: Trevish, pipl luck shelerbrity weddins. Pellitical weddins? The lass one that men anythin was Shawls an Diana.
Travis looks like he’s having as hard a time deciphering that as I did. He doesn’t like Mr. Mumbles one bit. Travis asks Kitty if Robert knows about the change of wedding plans. Kitty and Mumbles exchange nervous glances.
At this point, Nora barges in and starts yammering away about why a big wedding is essential. What, does the building have no security?
Mumbles: Scooshme. Scooshme whoer you?
Nora: I’m Nora Walker
Criminy, I’d heard that Danny Glover was being introduced as a potential love interest for Nora. Is this supposed to be their “meet cute?” Not a good start.
Commercial break and when we come back Nora, Mr. Mumbles and Kitty are meeting privately to discuss the need for an actual wedding ceremony.
Nora: (points to Kitty) When this child was four years old she put a dishtowel on her head, pretended it was a veil and walked down the aisle as if to prince charming.
Kitty: That was Kevin.
Okay, score one for Kitty. That was pretty funny. Nora protests and says that actually it was both of them.
Nora: Robert and Kitty deserve more than drop ceilings and fluorescent lights. Fluorescent lights, Kitty!
Mumbles tells Nora if she can pull off an actual wedding by Monday morning he’ll leave it in her hands.
Nora is all relieved and races home to plan Kitty’s shotgun weekend wedding.
Cut to Sarah’s office. She’s getting the news from Nora that the nuptials have been moved up. Then Sarah gets another call – it’s Paige’s school. Sarah looks grim. Apparently something bad happened.
Sarah: I’ll be right there.
Cut to McAllister’s office. Mr. Mumbles is overseeing the ordering of lunch. Enter McAllister, who’s not at all pleased to see Mumbles.
Rob Lowe is in that same fitted blue shirt. Give it a rest already. Sure, the color sets off his eyes but cinched at the waist like that, from behind it makes him seem a bit hippy.
He asks if he can speak with Kitty privately. Once Mumbles leaves, McAllister lays into her for hiring such a “barracuda.”
McAllister: That is who you think you need to get things under control? Why don’t you just hire G. Gordon Liddy?
Kitty tells him to calm down.
Kitty: You wanna get through this wedding and you still wanna be a viable Republican presidential candidate? Then you are gonna have to get a hold of your testosterone, and you are just going to have to suck it up.
Wow, that’s vaguely lewd. I wonder how many hands he’ll need to “get hold” of his testosterone?
Meanwhile, across town at Holly’s house. Rebecca is back for a visit. How nice of her to stop by and see her mum. She’s giving Holly the rundown on everything that’s happening with the Walker siblings.
Rebecca:…even Sarah and I are being civil to one another. At least she’s not glaring at me any more.
Holly’s eyes are practically glazing over with boredom. Finally she tells Rebecca that she needs to stop being totally immersed in the Walker family. She needs to get out and live a little, because she’s only young once.
Holly: When I was your age I thought that I had all the time in the world. But the truth is you don’t. I don’t want you to look back at this time and have regrets.
I’m thinking Rebecca is going to look back on this time and regret those Ugg boots she’s wearing.
Cut to McAllister’s office. Isaac/Mr. Mumbles/Danny Glover has come to confront McAllister, and find out why he hates him so much. McAllister is tight lipped. More so than usual.
McAllister: Let me make one thing really clear. Around here I run a clean shop.
Mumbles: Ya cans shtan me canoe.
Oh, Mumbles. You said a mouthful.
Cut to the Walker mansion. Saul and Tommy are helping to get ready for the wedding and are busy moving a side table when Nora stops them. She wants to leave the side table where it is but move the couch instead. Poor Saul. Here he is moving furniture, and he might as well just be the furniture. This is another one of those episodes where the guy has practically nothing to do.
Nora mentions she’s filling out the seating chart.
Saul: Please Nora, don’t sit me next to Kevin.
What, does he have cooties or something? It’s such a weirdly inappropriate line. I think the whole point of it is so next week Nora can say something like: “Hey Saul, I’ve noticed some tension between you and Kevin…”
The guys exit, leaving Kitty and Nora alone in the living room. Kitty mentions she has an appointment for a sonogram. Nora volunteers to go with her. She needs her Boniva prescription refilled anyway.
Paige comes traipsing in and flops down on the couch to watch cartoons. When Kitty and Nora ask her where Sarah is, the morose little girl can barely be bothered to motion towards the kitchen.
They head to the kitchen to find Sarah with little Cooper. Coop has brought along an arts and crafts project. A gift for Kitty.What fun! It looks like dried elbow macaroni glued to a coffee can.
Cooper: It’s something to hold your flowers in.
Kitty: Oh, Cooper, I love it.
Oh Please! Mr. Rogers himself would have trouble finding anything nice to say about that macaroni can. Why encourage Cooper? He needs to learn and learn soon that on the hierarchy of gifts, dried elbow macaroni craft projects rank right up there with flaming bags of poo.
Nora asks Sarah what’s up with Paige, and Sarah explains that her daughter has been grounded for pulling the fire alarm at school. You know, brief aside but it’s a wonder that doesn’t happen all the time. I mean, there are so many damn fire alarm levers in the world, and I never pass by one that I don’t have a perverse notion to pull on it. Am I alone in this?
But enough about me and my OCD. You want to find out more about Paige…
Sarah: She’s been really distant and angry. I think this new custody arrangement is really affecting her.
Kitty gets a cell phone call from McAllister and takes it in the dining room.
McAllister apologizes for not being there for her sonogram. But she assures him they put everything on a DVD so he can watch it when he gets home.
McAllister doesn’t sound particularly enthused. My guess? If he’d wanted to watch The Blob he’d have rented the Steve McQueen version. McAllister hangs up, and Kitty goes into the living room to sit on the couch with Paige.
She tries to engage Paige in conversation, but Paige seems intent on her Speed Racer cartoon. Kitty says she got grounded a lot as a kid. Once she got in trouble for “forking a guy’s yard.”
Paige: What’s that?
My ears have pricked up as well. I’ve never heard of “forking,” but it sounds like it might be fun.
Kitty: You know those plastic forks that you get at the cafeteria? I used them to spell a message in front of his house.
Paige: What did it say?
Kitty: It was very naughty.
What the fork? That’s quite a buildup for a not very interesting anecdote. What do you wanna bet that the Plastic Utensil Association of America paid for the product placement and hopes to skyrocket sales by starting a “yard forking” craze? Good luck with that.
Kitty: I wanted to ask you. I need a flower girl, and I was hoping you could do it.
Paige actually looks thrilled to be Kitty’s flower girl. She really is a darn good little actress, isn’t she?
Cut to the foyer where Rebecca has Lena on the horn. Get it? Lena. Horne. (I’ve been waiting three weeks to use that one.)
Rebecca invites Lena out for a drink. Justin is lurking/limping nearby and overhears. He asks to tag along. Rebecca is concerned. They are going to a bar so…
Justin: Are you kidding? With this family I think I’ve mastered the skill of not drinking around drinkers.
Cut to McAllister’s office. Travis is giving McAllister a rundown on the week’s speaking engagements while McAllister rubs his cramped feet. I think if he asked, his buddy Travis would do that for him. Is it just me, or does Travis seem inordinately devoted to McAllister? Maybe he has a secret crush. Travis is feeling sort of under-appreciated now that that supposed “barracuda” Mr. Mumbles is on board the campaign, so it’s nice that he and McAllister can finally have some alone time.
I spoke too soon because someone knocks at the door. It’s Mr. Mumbles asking if he’s interrupting anything. Travis vigorously nods “yes,” but McAllister says “no,” they were just finishing up. Travis really looks like a jilted lover for a moment and then leaves in a huff.
The Senator asks what Mumbles wants. In his difficult to decipher way he explains that McAllister’s main opponent for the Republican presidential nomination has an institutionalized, developmentally disabled son. He keeps him shut away and never lets him out.
Mumbles suggests that McAllister can use that little tidbit if his opponent makes an issue out of Kitty’s pregnancy.
It’s all so Machiavellian, and McAllister clearly finds it distasteful. He doesn’t like Mumbles’ dirty tactics.
McAllister: Ten years ago you were doing some consulting work for Michael Green in California. You remember that? I was his opponent. And just as I was starting to get some traction, the San Diego paper wrote an article outing my brother. Who of course wasn’t out at the time. It practically ruined my relationship with my brother. It devastated him. Not to mention what it did to my family.
So that’s why McAllister hates Mumbles. Because he outed Jason.
Cut to Kitty’s sonogram. The doc says all her blood work looks fine. Then she squeezes some goo on Kitty’s tummy and puts the “sonowand™” on her stomach.
The doc turns up the volume and listens intently to the static. What, is she looking for a shortwave radio signal? Come in Tokyo, come in. Actually, the doc is looking for a fetal heartbeat. Turns out there isn’t one, which means the baby is dead.
Doc: I’m afraid this pregnancy is not viable.
It’s a truly sad moment and done with a high degree of realism. Much better than, say, Kitty tumbling down a flight of stairs – which is how women on television usually lose babies.
Cut to McAllister’s Santa Barbara ranch. Nora has driven Kitty home and offers to stay, but Kitty wants to wait for McAllister by herself. Kitty asks Nora to call everyone in the family and let them know the wedding is off.
After Nora leaves, Kitty sits down on the couch and bawls.
Cut to a bar where Lena, tipsy, is holding court with Justin and Rebecca. She’s telling them all about how she came up with the idea for Walker Vineyard’s wine bottle label. Tommy wanted to put a picture of Baby Cabbage in a bee costume on the label.
Justin: I mean, she’s cute but come on!
Rebecca: And babies don’t really make you wanna drink.
Uh, speak for yourself. Kids definitely make me wanna drink.
But cooler heads prevailed and Lena found a nice picture of a grape flower to use. Grapes actually flower? Who knew.
Lena: What’s really cool is that once they’re on store shelves I’ll be in the supermarket and I’ll know that that label was completely my idea. Is that lame?
I say it's lame. A picture of a flower doesn’t make much of a statement. I’d have gone with the Baby Cabbage picture.
There’s a weird energy at the table. Lena is already drunk, and even though Justin is supposedly only drinking club soda he still looks pretty zonked. Rebecca eyes him suspiciously.
Lena asks how Rebecca’s love life is.
Justin: That’s why she’s playing home health aide.
Lena giggles and Rebecca looks pained. She quickly changes the subject and asks Lena how her love life is.
Lena: Oh fine. But he won’t sleep over, and he likes it when I dress up in a bee costume.
(Okay, I added that last bit). Justin accuses her of having a “bunk buddy.” I get the idea, but that’s not exactly the term I’ve heard used.
Rebecca goes to get another round and Justin immediately fishes in his pocket for the ever-replenishing bottle of magic pills. He quickly swallows some and then Lena “horns” in. (Ooh, I got to use it twice! I’ll stop now, I promise.) I’m expecting Justin to get all miserly and tell her to get her own stash of pharmaceuticals, but I’m forgetting this is a magical bottle. Bottomless it seems. So he gives her a few pills and asks her to keep it a secret from Rebecca.
Cut to Kevin’s house. He’s on the phone leaving a message for Jason.
Kevin: I’m about to leave you the worst answering machine message in history. But I don’t have a choice. There’s no wedding because there’s no baby. Kitty had a miscarriage. I’m sure Robert would like to hear from you. I’d like to talk to you too. Call me.
Kevin hangs up the phone and sighs loudly. His boyfriend isn’t returning any of his calls.
Well, Kevin, one in the hand is worth two in the bush, right? Or should I say, “one on the air mattress.” Scotty is right there in your apartment looking all cute and available. (I guess he must have the night off from poultry deboning.)
Scotty overhears Kevin on the phone and expresses his condolences about Kitty’s lost baby.
Scotty: Is there anything I can do?
Kevin: Yeah you can deflate the mattress when you leave. I tripped on it this morning and almost killed myself.
Kevin really can be an ass sometimes. It takes forever to inflate those things. Does he expect Scotty to do that every day? Remind me never to be Kevin’s houseguest.
Cut to Sarah’s house. She gets the news about Kitty from Nora and then brings diabetic Paige some OJ. Again with the high sugar fruit juice! Are you trying to kill the kid? And brief aside but about Paige’s diabetes — they never mention that little factoid any more, do they? Maybe like Halle Berry she has magically cured herself of Type I diabetes and doesn’t need the insulin any more.
Sarah asks what Paige is doing. The little girl is making a card for Kitty out of construction paper.
Apparently Paige doesn’t want to be outshone by Coop and his festively painted macaroni can.
Someone has to put their foot down and stop these children before they kill again. Don’t their parents know that in the world of arts and crafts, construction paper and dried macaroni are gateway drugs? From there it’s an easy descent into decoupage. Or, God forbid, Beadazzling.
Sarah tells Paige that the wedding is off because Kitty’s not feeling well. This prompts Paige to go into hysterics. What if she and Coop are staying at their Dad’s house when Kitty finally does get married? She won’t get to be flower girl! That’s right Paige — make this all about you.
Sarah tells her not to worry. They will work it out so she can be flower girl no matter what.
But Sarah remains inconsolable and frankly a wee bit crazy. She starts yelling that, “You and dad always fight!” And runs out of the room shouting, “Leave me alone!” at the top of her lungs. The girl knows how to make a dramatic exit.
Cut to the bar where Lena and Justin are waiting in line for the bathroom. Lena is thoroughly trashed now, and Justin is very wobbly on his crutches. He sort of falls into her and they start making out. It’s kinda hot actually. It would all be a bit of harmless fun except Rebecca picks that moment to round the corner and spots the two of them going at it.
Rebecca’s face falls in despair. Either she’s hurt to see Justin kissing another girl, or she has to pee like a racehorse and saw the long line for the bathroom. Either way, the disappointment is enough to make her turn tail and flee.
Lena and Justin continue to make out for a moment, but then Lena finally pushes him away. I guess she’s saving her waffles for Tommy.
They go back to their table and discover Rebecca is gone.
Cut to McAllister’s Santa Barbara ranch. Kitty is on the couch when McAllister comes in. He can see something is wrong.
Kitty: I had a miscarriage. Actually they call it a missed miscarriage. I guess the baby died a few days ago or maybe a week.
McAllister: What happened?
Kitty: They don’t know. They say this happens all the time.
Kitty tells him she has a D&C scheduled tomorrow to remove the non-viable fetus. A couple days in bed and she’ll be fine.
Kitty: It’s good. It’s nature’s way of ending a potential problem. And we don’t have to rush the wedding.
Cut to Sarah’s house. She’s gone up to Paige’s room to see what caused her to go all Linda Blair Exorcist-y earlier. But Paige isn’t in her room. Check the ceiling! She might be floating up there doing unspeakable things with a crucifix.
Cut to a short time later. Joe and Sarah are pacing the living room on separate phones calling everyone they can think of. No one has seen Paige. They hang up and begin to turn on one another. Joe thinks it is Sarah’s fault because Paige was staying with her when she ran away. Sarah says it’s Joe’s fault — Paige is only acting out because of the new custody arrangement.
The phone rings. It’s Nora. She says she found Paige on her doorstep. How did Paige get to Nora’s house? Did she drive or something?
Nora says Paige wants to stay the night and Sarah and Joe readily agree. Wise move. This new Exorcist-y Paige could be on the verge of power barfing pea soup. Better that she do it at someone else's house.
Cut to the next morning at McAllister’s Santa Barbara ranch. Kitty is up and in the kitchen. McAllister enters and asks how she’s doing. She says she tried to drink a cup of coffee which to her seems like a statement of finality. She’s not pregnant.
McAllister: It’s not over. You can try again.
Kitty: I know.
Kitty tells him Nora is taking her to get the D&C, but he insists that he wants to take her. (He thought she said D&G. He'd heard they make nice wallets.)
Cut to the Walker mansion. Rebecca is in her room packing her bags. Justin comes in and asks why she’s leaving.
Justin: Is this because of last night?
Rebecca: Are you using again Justin?
Justin: I’m taking pain medication for my leg. You know that.
Rebecca: Yeah and I also know what people look like when they’re high, and last night you were high, Justin.
Justin: Why are you being so judgmental?
Rebecca: Because I have spent every waking minute trying to take care of you.
Justin: Who asked you to?
Rebecca: Nobody! Nobody. I have no idea what I’m doing here.
Justin: You know what. You’re right. I’m using more than what the doctor prescribed because I’m trying to get better. Fast. I’m sick and tired of being here while my friends die over there. I can’t tell anyone that because they won’t get it. I wanna go back. Can you understand that?
WHAT!? Justin wants to go “back to Iraq”? That’s news to me. I’d heard the green zone is supposedly lovely in the fall, but seriously, why would he want to go back there?
Rebecca: I don’t believe you. I think you’re telling yourself that because it seems noble and important, but you are using because you’re an addict, Justin. And you’ll always find a reason.
Rebecca leaves. Justin is stunned. Or he would be if he wasn’t pretty much in a stupor from all the pain killers. He goes into the living room and finds Paige alone and waiting for her parents to come pick her up. She’s sad because she knows she’s going to be grounded.
Justin: People are mad at me too, kid.
Paige: I do things that I know will get me in trouble but I do them anyhow.
Justin: Been hard with your Mom and Dad, huh?
Paige: I wish I could be two places at the same time.
Perhaps Justin can offer her one of his pills to make her "feel" better.
Cut to the OB/GYN office. Kitty is in the waiting room with McAllister. The nurse comes out and says they’re ready for her. Cue the sad music as Kitty goes in to have the fetus removed.
Cut to Sarah’s house. Joe is there by himself. He must have kept a key. He’s on the phone with someone.
Joe: (on phone)…this is what I want so please make it happen.
Joe’s call is interrupted when Sarah comes in with Paige. Joe hugs his daughter.
Paige: I don’t want you two to get a divorce
Sarah: Sometimes things just happen. And running away won’t change a thing.
Er, actually, running away did change something. It convinced Joe to amend the custody arrangement.
Joe: From now on you and your brother will spend half your time here and half your time with me.
I’m not sure what sort of message this is sending to Paige, other than “run away and you get exactly what you want.” They send the deliriously happy munchkin upstairs to tell Coop. Sarah gives Joe a heartfelt “thank you.”
Cut to Kevin’s apartment. He’s on the couch with his feet up working on his laptop. Enter Scotty with a bag of goodies. Kevin still hasn’t heard from Jason yet, so Scotty is trying to be a good friend by thinking up ways to distract him. He’s stopped off at the video store.
Scotty: If you’re feeling romantic: The Thornbirds. If you’re angry at him: The Exocrcist. And if you just want to have a good time there’s my personal favorite: Glitter.
Ooh! Go with Glitter. That one always brings a smile to my face.
Cut to McAllister’s office. He’s by himself when Mr. Mumbles pokes his head in to say goodbye. Mumbles wants to give McAllister some parting advice about handling the press in the event word gets out about Kitty’s D&C.
Mumbles: Yull bedeerin wid spechulasion tha shehad an adortion.
Rob Lowe then gives this strange speech about: 1) How can Mumbles can be so insensitive; 2) How he hasn’t had time to process his grief yet; and 3) How he never really wanted the baby anyway.
Uh, I don’t understand why McAllister is baring his soul to this man that he supposedly hates.
McAllister: I already have two kids of my own. I thought I was done. I never told Kitty. I can’t tell Kitty. And I don’t know if God is giving me what I want or punishing me.
After McAllister gets done with all his weird speechifying, Mr. Mumbles leaves. Finally. Please let that be the last of this character.
Cut to Kitty recovering in bed at Nora’s house. Nora brings her a heating pad.
Kitty, though crampy and sad, asks her Mom to stay with her.
Episode 206 grade: You Decide!
I thought maybe I'd start running a poll for recap readers. So, on a scale of 1-10, how would you score this episode?
Brothers & Sisters returns next Sunday, November 11th.