Of all the queens who have competed on RuPaul’s Drag Race, few have had as meteoric a rise as Carmen Carrera. The season three fan favorite has gone on to appear in fashion bible W, done work for Loreal and even appeared on the ABC news program Primetime: What Would You Do? since leaving the show. Most notable, however, is that Carmen has transitioned from a gay male into a heterosexual female.
So it was with much joy and happiness that fans of Carmen learned about her domestic partnership with Adrian Torres, who she met in 2009. The two could frequently be seen at Carmen’s events, and Adrian was there when Carmen made her now infamous appearance on TLC’s Cake Boss earlier this year. They seemed like the perfect couple.
But, like most couples, Carmen and Adrian has their problems and Carmen released this statement to her fans on her Facebook page earlier this week; “Me and my husband are no longer together. Its been about 3 months and I was trying to NOT put it out there lol but I might as well just keep it real. I hate dealing with rumors and people getting the story all messed up. Him and I are still friends and that’s all that matters.”
Or, as Carmen told us, “I needed to be on my own.”
The first thing Carmen makes very, very clear when speaking about her divorce, is that there is no animosity between herself and Adrian. “There is no animosity, no anger, no resentment,” she explains. “We still have our little dates and I am still there for his daughter’s sake, who I have always had a close relationship with.”
And while Carmen is adamant that her career in no way caused the split, it seems that her busy schedule may not have helped.
“When we first got married and were dating, I wasn’t out there that much. The only circuit we had was the New York and New Jersey scene,” she says. “But over the past year, things got crazy.”
Things mostly seemed to get crazy with emails from some unkind fans to both Carmen and Adrian. Carmen would receive emails that Adrian was with other women, and Adrian vice versa. In the beginning, it was fine. “We were strong, we were married, we ignored it.”
Over time however, there seemed to be some kinks in the armor.
It was not, to be clear, anything to do with any discomfort Adrian had over Carmen’s lifestyle as she explains it. “[Adrian] never lived in the gay lifestyle, I introduced him to that. But he was always so respectful, would always be able to come out and joke around with our friends. He was great.”
What was not so great, its seems, were some insecurities that began appearing. “He would say to me, ’I’m afraid you’re going to leave me for some guy.’ And I was like, ’You’re crazy,'” Carmen explains.
In the end, Carmen says what ultimately ruined the relationship was the same thing that happens to most everyone else. “What we talked about most were the things that weren’t making us happy.”
And so, Carmen made the very difficult decision that she needed to be on her own.
“There are certain things I want to do with my career. I may want to move to LA. But I can’t balance that and my relationship,” she says.
More importantly, Carmen tells us, “At the end of the day, I am happier and he is happier.”
As for getting back out there, Carmen is not having the best of luck. Having not been single since she was a baby, as she tells it, the dating scene is a bit tricky for a transsexual.
“Can you imagine meeting me in a club and me going in to my back story? ’Oh hi, I used to be on this show RuPaul’s Drag Race and I was a boy and now I am a girl’ … I just have to wait for the world to change.”
And Carmen makes one thing very, very clear — she is not settling. “I know what I want, but everyone out there is crazy. They’re all fuc*ing nuts.”
We have no doubt Carmen will find love again of course and, in the meantime, she still remains an amazingly talented and amazingly inspiration young lady. And that ain’t so bad.