Charlie Carver is known as a very handsome young gay actor—twin brother to Max, star of series like Teen Wolf, Desperate Housewives, When We Rise and The Leftovers. But after reading his personal essay in Playboy, we have to add compelling writer to that resume.

It was a well-reasoned treatise on resistance, progress, and hope, but it's Carver's aside about his childhood that is so heartbreaking. He recalls his family's move to Calistoga, California, and his discovery of his father's homosexuality.

"At 11 I found out my father was a faggot," he writes. "I hate that word, but it’s how the news resonated with me at the time, so I will write it."

This was, what, 1999? Before the first civil unions, and not before Matthew Shepard. I’d already conditioned myself to believe that any expression of gayness could lead to being tied up to a fence, and so you bet I was doing my damndest to pass in a disguise of frosted tips and Team USA soccer jerseys.

But with Dad’s news, the hammer finally fell on a loaded chamber and I was forced to reckon with what felt like was a shameful inheritance.

My blood felt tainted. I assumed his was. By the end of that year, I’d changed my name, lost 30 percent of my body weight, asked to die and was filled with such profound despair that, looking back on family photos from the time, I still don’t recognize myself.

That desire to distance himself from his imperfect father, from his imperfect self, pushed Carver into an unhealthy obsession with perfection. "I didn’t think anything was enough unless it was remarkable. I believed any less wouldn’t redeem my suffering or the little person who’d suffered it."

It wasn't until he allowed himself to fail at being perfect that he was able to break the cycle.

"Ultimately, to find happiness, I had to step off and freefall away from the remarkable persona I’d built and back into a more natural state of expression. Did that in and of itself count for anything?"

In an interview with Attitude, Carver admitted that, in part, he wanted to be able to define himself, without having to be compared to his father. Eventually, though, his father’s openness helped him to come to terms with his own sexuality: “I think he taught me, in the way that he lived his life, that your sexuality doesn’t define you.”

Carver ends his Playboy essay by stating that he's come to believe that just living your truth and being happy—not giving up or giving in—is a potent act of resistance. "As much as your safety will bear it, exist! Live freely in your expression, your body, love affectionately and exist! Exist!"

As we head into Pride weekend, we have to say we agree.