“Chloe Sevigny” Has Fun Activities for Your COVID-19 Quarantine

"Renegotiate magenta."

Good evening, America!

It’s recently come to our attention that we need “Chloe Sevigny” now more than ever.

Comedian Drew Droege’s pretentious alter ego returned this week “from hee-ding” with a list of activities for everyone to enjoy “whilst in solace” during the coronavirus crisis. Thanks to social distancing, it’s Droege’s first “Chloe” video selfie!

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How does this eccentric icon pass the time? “Invent games with your many thumbs. Count church bells on your windowsill. Fend off carpetbaggers with a home spoon.”

Still bored? “Renegotiate magenta. Make decorative medicinal masks from broken mosaics and war shrapnel… Imagine restaurants.”

Of course, you could always just have “a Zoom session with Kate Pearson, Angie Everhart, and Donna Shalala.”

“Stay inside, America,” she says. “Stay safe. And only go outdoors to ex-ser-ceese, visit le docteur, or enjoy some toe-ast.”

Droege’s latest off-Broadway solo show, Happy Birthday Doug, is currently on hold.

Watch “Solace” below.

Celebrity interviewer. Foodie and Broadway buff in Manhattan. Hates writing bios.