It’s been a depressingly slow couple of
months weeks for gay supercouple Will and Sonny on Days Of Our Lives. Mired in dirty diapers and booze-soaked bar rags, they haven’t had a moment of excitement since the departure of Sonny’s blond spelunking interloper (although we have learned that WilSon are experts at making coffee and sandwiches during a crisis).
It doesn’t help that Will has spent the last week in California for a “writing fellowship,” having garnered notice for his WilSon fanfic (silly boy, doesn’t he know that when it comes to him and Sonny, A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words).
So while Sonny is in Salem dealing with Baby Ari, Will has been living it up on the west coast. Luckily, he’s kept his boyfriend in the loop, and we’ve managed to become privvy to Will’s daily correspondence. As you can see, it’s been an eventful week, but we can’t wait to see our guys reunited … we hear there’s a wedding fiasco happening that will need decaf and doughnuts.
Dear Sonny: Hey Dude! Well, I’m at the college. It’s a little different than I expected. There are six of us in the writing workshop, and we’re going to be competing all week. The contest has been dubbed “The Fellowship Of The Scarf,” because the winner gets his pick of any neck wrap from the college gift shop. I met the reigning champion (three years running!), and he’s a cool (if intense) guy named Luke, who’s already taken me under his wing. But I don’t think he gets along with head professor Mason Jarvis. He warned me to steer clear of him, mumbling something about a history between them, but Mason is enshrined in the Fellowship Of The Scarf Hall Of Fame, so I think I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt.
Dear Sonny: Hey Bro! They assigned us dorm rooms while we’re staying here this week, and I think I’m finally settled in. I don’t know about my roommate, though. He’s a nice enough guy, but frankly, he started creeping me out last night. While we were getting ready for bed, he started asking me all these really personal questions, about my family and my history, and he wanted to know things about you, like if you were a morning person, and any pet names I had for you. I finally put my foot down when he wanted to know more … intimate details. I guess he’s just curious, but I woke up in the middle of the night, and I could swear I saw him looking over at me, like he was trying to memorize how I sleep. But I was probably just dreaming!
Dear Sonny: Hey Pal Of Mine! The workshops are tough, but luckily, we get some recreation time, and the school offered up the services of their tennis instructor. And you won’t believe who it is. Are you sitting down? It’s your old boyfriend Teddy! I recognized him from the pictures in your scrapbook, and when I mentioned I was dating you, he got really excited. He wanted me to ask you if … and these are his words … You still hate balls in your face. He said you’d know what it means. I can’t wait to get home to hear that story!
Dear Sonny: Hey Comrade! The writing is grueling, so to blow off some steam, they took us out tonight to be in the audience of one of those reality dance shows. It was a lot of fun, but I swear one of the dancers was a dead ringer for your asshat friend Brian! I know it couldn’t have been him, but I guess my bad vibes affected him, because he ended up being eliminated from the competition. Now I wish it was Brian, so I could’ve laughed in his face. Bitch.
Dear Sonny: Hey Bud! The final judging is tomorrow, and I needed a quiet place to finish my story, so I put on my sexy shirt and visited the set where they filmed our favorite movie, The Ghost and Mr. Chicken. I was hoping the spirit of Don Knotts would provide inspiration, but I had an uneasy feeling all day, like someone was … following me. I’m sure it was just my imagination.
Dear Sonny: Guess what? I WON! The judges said they loved my creative writing piece about a hot gay couple who live in a town full of over-sexed sociopaths and drama queens, but never ever have sex themselves. They called it a stunning work of science fiction. As a reward, I got to pick out the scarf of my choosing, and as I gazed at the expensive accessories, I thought “What would Sonny choose for me?” I think I nailed it.
I’m leaving in the morning. I’ll meet you at the airport . Maybe we can celebrate by bringing croissants and fruit punch to the wedding. Hopefully it’ll go off without a hitch.
Love you, Will