Donald Trump May Lick Stephen Colbert’s Balls


So, about Donald Trump’s “October Surprise.”

If you expected to be wowed, we pity you. Not that it was a surprise to anyone when the bombshell fell rather short of blowing anything up.

Memory of the flaccid attempt at viral marketing did, however, take up residence in the lobe of our brain usually reserved for Kim Kardashian Halloween costume Twitter pics. Thankfully, we’ve been able to dislodge it with Stephen Colbert’s hilarious counter offer.

Colbert was so moved by Trump’s offer to give $5 million to a charity of the POTUS’s choice in exchange for the president’s college and passport records that he offered to give Trump’s favorite charity $1 million.

“For anything,” Colbert said, “Save the Children, Feed the Children…Put the Children on Child Apprentice, whatever. One million dollars!”

So, what does Donald Trump have to do for the cool mil? Colbert’s requirement might be even more revealing than The Don’s.

“Let me dip my balls in your mouth.”

Painless, right? Just a quick ball licking and Trump’s favorite cause is a million bucks richer. But Colbert might not be satisfied with a quickie.

“But this dipping has to be to my, and more importantly, to my balls’ satisfaction,” he said to the raucous applause of the studio audience.

And who likes a half-hearted ball-dipping? Not us. But, we’re going back and forth about whether we’d personally take up Stephen Colbert’s offer. Would you dip your balls in it?