I’m going to have to agree with MamaPop.com blogger Joy-Martin Malone who claims she’d much rather her young daughters look up to the queens of Drag Race as role models than Disney’s litany of cartoon princesses:
When it comes down to it, I respect Drag Queens. They are artists. They are able to conceptualize an idea and transform themselves (without the help of magic, I might add). They are risk-takers. They are punk.
And Disney Princesses? They are a man-made franchise created to sell cheaply made shit to our daughters. They are a perpetuation of the weak, dumb woman that obediently waits for a man to come along and make her valuable.
Now, no t no shade to the Magic Kingdom, but homegirl has a point.
W’ve already seen the Drag Race dolls re-imagined as Disney villains, but Martin got us thinking: What if our queens were made over as Disney princesses?
Given Lady Monsoon’s penchant for unprompted napping, we think she’d do a great job as the most tired of the Disney girls.
Pandora Boxx as Alice
This one’s almost too easy since Pandora dressed up as Alice for a gamer convention this summer. Of course, Pandora’s version was more bloodthirsty than Disney’s Alice in Wonderland, but we think she’d do a great job singing to semi-invisible cats and avoiding being decapitated.
Serena ChaCha as Belle
Serena is back with a new music video but as Beauty & the Beast‘s Belle, she would have plenty of time to “pick up a book and go read,” considering she’d be locked inside an endless library.
Honey Mahogany as Princess Jasmine
This San Francisco treat got read for filth in Season 5 for her diehard commitment to kaftans. But as Aladdin‘s Jasmine she could weary flowing gowns till the end of time.
Latrice Royale as Tiana
In the wise words of Mo’nique: Never trust a skinny cook. That’s why we cast Latrice Royale, the chunky-yet-funky Floridian diva as a more realistic version of southern gourmand Tiana from The Princess and the Frog.
Ongina as Mulan
Ongina, the androgynous superstar from Season 1, was a fierce warrior princess who was brave enough to bare her soul. We think she would slay on the battlefield as Mulan just as much as she did on the runway.
Coco Montrese as Scar from The Lion King
Look how orange you fucking look, girl! (Okay, Scar’s not technically a princess—but he sure was a queen.)