A weekly segment in which we capture the Downton Abbey look at Roseanne re-run prices.
My mom was an elementary school librarian so I’m only too familiar with the temptation to dress like you’re being confined to solitary inside a snow globe at the first mention of a holiday party. However eggnog abuse among true friends demands more from us than vests that double as advent calendars and ties that even Santa wouldn’t wear as boxers. Which is why I try to channel our more inhibited, deeper pocketed, WASPy betters when preparing to spill hot buttered rum and colored sugar on a rug for several hours. What Brooks Brothers Black Fleece is doing here encapsulates the best of my intentions: a nod to seasonal elements (a plaid blazer and dense turtleneck) but understated enough that all of this can be used again and again well after all the coats have been cleared from the bed. Sadly because it’s Brooks Brothers Black Fleece I would also have to consider the blazer my primary place of residence to justify the price tag, but just to keep all things merry and bright, for every first-class-on-Air-Emirates option, we’ve also brought you one seat-next-to-the-bathroom-on-Greyhound alternative for each piece of the ultimate Holiday Party uniform.
Wool Plaid Blazers
Normally a purist when it comes the color, fit, and details of tailored elements I give this gradient plaid blazer from Alexander McQueen one hell of a pass for just being so damn deadly with the subtle gradient at the hem. In the interest of your credit score you might also consider this just as handsome (AND also more traditional) subtle blackwatch option from Club Monaco. Both are all wool and slim throughout so they’ll look just as good with dark denim well after you’ve put away your last cheese log.
Normally I make it a point to give the sweater of choice for Mr. Jellineck a wide berth but provided it’s in heavy wool and not too Batman suit tight there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with a turtleneck, especially when you happen to be thoughtfully swirling a tumbler of scotch in your hand. Both this marled cashmere-mohair option from Belstaff and this heavy wool roll neck version from J Crew more than keep you in the clear. The roll neck with it’s generally less intrusive creeping on your chin and folded over edge only add to the rugged factor… AAANNNND it’ll set you back a little over a grand less.
Grey Flannel Trousers
Hard to tell the difference between these two trousers? Well the version on the right from Neil Barrett is half lined and has a hidden zipper at the hem to give you an extra tapered, slim ankle. However they’re also six times more expensive than the other pair from Shades of Grey by Micah Cohen and both options are slim enough in that perfect medium shade of grey that’ll look just as good with a white tee and a leather jacket as it will with a dark blazer and tie.
To this day no means of foot cover says, “I will be the absolute last person leaving your party in the company of the most attractive person invited,” than the chelsea boot. Gucci makes an absolutely prime specimen in the exact color of a very well loved piece of wood while Frye manages to get their slightly more likely to ride a Harley version in under $300 while still retaining everything you should look for in high quality footwear (yes, they’re “benchmade” using “full grain calf”).
Previously in Dress Like a Millionaire: The Handsomest Shoes
Evan Widhu is a Men’s Wear Buyer in New York. This holiday season he plans to only attend parties that are turtleneck judgement-free zones.