TV

Why Eureka Knew They Weren’t Going to Win “Drag Race All Stars” Season 6

"Being there, being a part of it, it's not about the crown anymore."

Eureka is back, back, back, back again!

No sooner did they sashay away from RuPauls Drag Race All Stars Season 6 when Mama Ru told Eureka to return to the mainstage for a lip-sync battle against Silky Nutmeg Ganache. Eureka broke Silky’s lip-sync winning streak, returning to slay another day and making it back into the top five. When Trinity K. Bonet was sent home later that episode, Eureka landed in the final four, a place she found herself before when she was a runner-up on Drag Race Season 10.

And herstory ended up repeating itself: Eureka lost out against Kylie Sonique Love, who took home the crown and snagged a spot in the Drag Race Hall of Fame.

Eureka spoke with NewNowNext about returning to the competition, what it was like lip-syncing against Silky, and why she knew she wasn’t going to win All Stars Season 6.
 

Well, I’m having déjà-Ru because we just talked a couple weeks ago.

I know!

How did it feel, doing all these interviews while you were sitting on a secret?

I’ve been sitting on secrets my whole life. It feels okay. It just feels nice to be able to talk about it honestly and open, and it’s bittersweet. It’s coming to an end, which sucks, but also, it’s nice to know it’s coming to an end at the same time.

Take me back: You sashay away, you’re about to pack up your stuff, and then you’re told you have to go back out on the stage? Is that really how it happened? You went right back to lip-sync?

It was awful. It was so awful. I was ready to go home mentally, so when that happened, it was just like, oh, shit, okay. So of course I was a little upset that I was going home, so when I got that little ring a ding ding, I ran to get ready. I grabbed my mom’s Life Alert and was like, “Girl, I might need this.” So there was that emotional roller coaster. But yeah, it was immediately after.

That lip-sync against Silky…you must have just been like, “This is all or nothing.” You must have been running on fumes. Were you just giving it your all because you were like, “This might be the end of the line?”

My mind was thinking a lot of things. Before anybody even came out, it was like, “Am I so ready to go home that I just don’t do this lip-sync properly? Do I throw it? What do I do?” I started talking to God and to my mom to be honest. It was just like, “Mom, God, if this is mine, let it be mine. If it’s not, let the other person win. Show me, let them see. I don’t know what decision to make, and I can’t just give up.” Because I thought about my mom, and my mom never gave up. She pushed through radiation and chemo and everything else to the bitter end. I had to do the same thing, that’s what it felt like, so that’s why I was so connected to her in that moment, I think.

I could definitely see you thinking, “You know what? I’ll just throw this lip-sync. I’ve already come to terms that I’m going home.”

Yeah. But then when you get out there, it’s like, this is not who I am. I can’t give up on myself, because then it comes down to that. If I give up, I’m giving up on myself, and I can’t give up on myself because there’s so many people depending on me too. It’s a self-worth thing. So you have to make that decision to perform because you’re worth it, is really what it came down to — was me realizing, you know what, you are given this opportunity, you’re worth it, you have to do it. That’s what it comes down to.

And you’re standing there in front of Ru and everyone, so you want to make everyone proud.

Of course. And I think RuPaul is proud of what I’ve done already, so it wasn’t that as much, because I kind of got the energy where it was like [that], especially after Silky came out. Silky has won all these lip-syncs, so I could see their pride for her too. So that was really when it got difficult. And it broke my heart when I got chosen over her. I remember turning to her and crying. But sometimes we have to choose ourselves too, or that’s not fair if you don’t choose yourself. You can’t be willing to choose everyone else all the time.

That moment when you were crying with Silky, I’m guessing it was a mixture of being chosen over Silky but also being so exhausted. And now you’re having this whiplash of being back in the competition.

It was a lot of things, yeah, you’re not wrong. All of the tears. So all those things are correct, yes.

Have you now watched all of Silky’s lip-syncs?

Yeah.

They’re pretty insane, right?

Yeah, they were great. I was rooting for her while I was watching that. And then when it was about to be me and I knew it was going to happen, I almost felt bad, really, when I was watching it too, I was just like, “Oh.” And even in the moment, I was like, “Oh, I’m kind of worried for myself, she’s going to beat me,” even though I already knew what happens. I was a fan all over again.

You’re the first queen to come back on All Stars, win a challenge, and stay. How does that feel? Just that alone?

It felt normal to me. In a weird way, it just feels normal. I feel like I’m constantly being tested and having to prove myself. I have had to prove myself my entire life. So it just felt like another day in the life of Eureka — having to push to survive and to prove myself again. And that’s honestly why it almost gets exhausting, is it’s just like, how many times do you have to prove yourself to people and to yourself that you can do it, or that you deserve it? So it was a lot of emotions, I guess.

You’ve been in the final four before. Does this time feel different than in the past, or does it feel kind of like déjà-Ru again?

No, this time it feels completely different. Last time, I really thought I was going to win; this time I don’t. I really felt like I was going to win Season 10. I don’t feel like I’m going to win All Stars, to be honest. Just because I got eliminated and I came back.

So after you lost Season 10, you thought that maybe you’ll never get the crown?

Yeah. When I came to All Stars and I wasn’t winning challenges, it wasn’t a big deal to me. It doesn’t hurt me like it used to. My confidence level and my self-worth and my personal strength is much higher than it was. I have just grown so much as a human being to where showing up is winning. Being there, being a part of it, it’s not about the crown anymore.

But you’re proud of what you did, right? You should be. You were so amazing on this season, no matter what happens in the finale.

Oh yeah. I’m absolutely proud of everything I did. I competed with integrity. I competed honestly. I was 100% honest and authentic, and I took a deep breath and relaxed into everything that I did. I have no regrets at this point. It was an amazing season, and that’s what I’m proud of because everyone was really talking shit about this season before it came out. All the fans were really skeptical of how good the season would be because it wasn’t a cast of heavy-hitters until they got to see them again. I think people were very impressed by the fight and the hard work that all the girls put into this season, so it was something we can all be really proud of.

I write about drag queens. Dolly Parton once ruffled my hair and said I was "just the cutest thing ever."
@chrisreindeer