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EXCLUSIVE: Tyler Oakley Talks About His New Doc, LGBT Youth And Gus Kenworthy

"I won't delete anything, but I'll acknowledge it and say, 'Yeah girl that was embarrassing.'"

When most of us enter a photobooth, it's usually at a holiday party or in the back corner of a dimly lit bar after knocking back one too many cocktails with friends. When Tyler Oakley does it, he films the experience, and over ten million people watch it.

And comment on it.

And repost it.

They like it and they 'like' it.

When someone has built a multi-million dollar empire off of sharing "the real" them, it's easy to grow cynical of their agenda. But if Tyler Oakley has proven anything during his eight year reign as one of YouTube's biggest stars, it's his desire to use his platform for good.

In 2014, Oakley helped raise $525,704 for The Trevor Project, where he began as an intern in 2009. In 2015, he did it again, earning even more and helping to raise over a million dollars in total for the suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth.

He's appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show, gotten intimate with Darren Criss and even interviewed a woman you may have heard of named Michelle Obama.

Now, in addition to his popular Psychobabble podcast, he's got a new book, appropriately titled, Binge, as well as a new documentary, Snervous.

Below, we chat with Oakley about his very busy 2015 and what's ahead in the new year.


Everyone I talk to that really knows you seems to share the same sentiment about how genuinely nice you are. Is it hard to always be so nice?

I always remember when people aren't nice. Having been on the other side of red carpets and stuff, I remember exactly who I've interviewed who hasn't been the kindest. I never want to be that person to somebody, because you never know the impact you can have on them.

Is it challenging for you in certain moments? Like, say you're having a bad day and a fan approaches you, is it hard to always turn on the smile?

It is difficult to sometimes separate what's going on personally from the experience you want someone to have. Imagine you run into someone you look up to and you've been watching for years, and you have this hope for what it'll be like. I never want that to be a negative experience for somebody. I'm really lucky that I have a viewership that's really understanding of boundaries, and they can perceive if I'm having a personal moment or if I'm with friends or family. I have really never had a negative moment where someone comes up to me and I have to work really hard to switch on or off. I try to understand that this is something that they'll maybe remember for a long time.

You've been making YouTube videos now for over eight years. With Snervous, why did you feel like now was the time to let your fans in on a more unfiltered version of yourself?

Well, for the first seven or eight years I've been in charge of the editing process, the uploading process. Everything about it has been through my own lens. After I worked on the book for a while, I had a lot of fun sharing things I've never shared before. Although it was fun revealing, at the same time it was still through my lens. With the movie it felt like a completely different side of the same story. I was trying to find new ways to connect so that it's fresh, because with years of content, it can get a little monotonous, so switching it up gives viewers that are new and viewers that have been there for eight years something to appreciate.

What is the best way for someone to get your attention on social media?

Persistence is great, because I start to recognize people from their Twitter picture, or their name or Twitter handle that are always in my replies. I spend most of my day on Twitter replying to people, so when I see someone over and over, they're familiar. The coolest thing is when I'm on tour and they come up to me and introduce themselves and I know exactly who they are and what inside jokes we've had. It's not just a meet and greet for them to meet me, but for me to meet them.

Has there ever been something that you've regretted sharing with the world?

Oh God yes, so much! But I think that's what makes a YouTuber a YouTuber. Or gives someone that's a blogger or a professional over-sharer appeal. I think the filter that a traditional entertainer might have is gone. For somebody to have that one-on-one connection with that entertainer makes it exciting because you never know what's going to happen next. For me, it's an opportunity to share the good and the bad. I won't delete anything, but I'll acknowledge it and say, 'Yeah girl that was embarrassing.'

Was there ever a specific instance where you were surprised by how many people were clocking you about a certain something?

What always surprises me is relationships. I guess I understand it because it's something a lot of YouTubers don't talk about, and traditional entertainers don't really either, but the difficult thing is when viewers see a YouTuber with another YouTuber, they think 'Oh my gosh, there's so much chemistry, they might both be gay. There must be something there.' It spirals into this shipping fandom. That always surprises me, because two gay guys can be friends without ever thinking about it, but for some people they see it and it's hard for them to not believe it.

You've had the chance to meet with a lot of LGBTQ+ youth face to face. What's the most common sentiment that you hear from them?

I'm always stunned – in the best way – by the LGBTQ+ youth that I meet because a lot of people that are older think, 'Oh, this generation is lazy,' or 'Oh, this generation aren't activists.' And when I meet with these LGBTG+ people who may be leaders in their community or leaders online, I feel so ready for the future and so sure it's in good hands. They will take no bullshit. They aren't here for discrimination or inequality; It's such a nonsense argument. I can't speak for them, but what I can tell is that they're so ready to change the world. Not just locally, but globally. That's the biggest discrepancy I see between generations: This misconception of laziness when I think they're ready to change the world, faster than ever before.

I've noticed a lot of the readers on our site getting very fired up about Gus Kenworthy's social media presence. The sentiment seems to be: He should spend less time taking his shirt off and more time doing things for the LGBTQ+ community. What's your take on that?

Well I think firstly, anyone has the right to share anything about themselves. Whether it's a more provocative thing or more prudish thing is 100% up to them. The second thing is, I think nobody has an obligation to be this '#1 role model/activist/face of the campaign.' I think it's a missed opportunity if they don't want to use their platform for some type of social change or be an influence, but I would never place that on someone. We should appreciate those who rise to the challenge, and hopefully through those that do, others will see that and think they should do that also. No one should feel that pressure.

What is dating like for you?

It's... interesting. Nowadays, the first thing you do after you find someone is try to figure everything out about them that you can. You have to assume that everyone can Google everything about you. It's an interesting imbalance approaching it when your entire life is Google-able. I'm figuring it out as I go. The greater amount of my adult life has been this; I've always put my life online. I think the good thing of that is I've never put anything online that I didn't want my mom to see, so if a potential boyfriend is going to see it, that's fine too.

Do you think you would be more compelled to date a fellow YouTuber or a non-celebrity?

It would always be helpful if someone were to understand some of the weird stuff that goes on. But at the same time, I have no qualms about what they do, where they're from, where they are on their professional journey. I want to find people who are driven and who are working towards it. Whether you achieved it or you're at the beginning, as long as you're working towards it, that's what I'm looking for. It could be anything that you're passionate about.

2015 was a banner year for LGBTQ+ rights. Going into 2016, what's your wish for the future of our community

My wish would be for local people to think more globally about equality and what it means to be in the LGBTQ+ community. Whether that means being in a country where you can be killed for who you are, or for thinking outside of just your identity. If you're a gay, white man think more about the other people in the LGBTQ+ community and realize your issues are not the same as everyone else's.

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