Four Scores and Seven Beers Ago... Possible Gay Subplots For The Upcoming Abraham Lincoln Movie
Let's give Daniel Day Lewis some real material to work with when he plays Lincoln
Earlier today, the state senate of California passed a bill that would require public schools in the state to teach gay history. I imagine this would include a final that would start with a true and false section on Cary Grant movies, move on to some fill-in-the-blank Walt Whitman poetry, and end with a choice of writing an essay on either Alexander The Great or Liberace or something, but I'm sure the curriculum could go in many directions.
In addition to sounding amazing, this unit would also obviously need some films for the teachers of California to show during class when they are either sick, annoyed with children, or hungover. Though there have been some great LGBT history films made in the last few years (Milk, Howl etc.) you know how kids these days only like movies that are less than a few months old.
Therefore, I think it would do a great service to this group of West Coast professionals to add some gay subplots to the upcoming Spielberg-produced Abraham Lincoln biopic. Other than casting Sally Field (which is basically already a gay subplot) these could include:
1. Abraham Lincoln takes up makramay.
2. Joshua Speed gets hit by cab and goes into a coma, and Abraham Lincoln is denied visiting rights at the hospital.
3. David Derickson and Abraham Lincoln fall in love on a hill while herding sheep.
4. Mary Todd Lincoln falls in love with a black man, while her working husband leaves her to live with a man.
5. Abraham Lincoln, one of the hardest partying presidents in the district, unexpectedly falls in love with a Mormon missionary.
6. William Seward gets Abraham Lincoln a hooker for his birthday.
7. Abraham Lincoln, and two drag queens, travel across a war-torn countryside in a bus to get to Gettysburg before the big show!
8. Tad Lincoln invites the socially conservative family of his fiance to meet his wacky parents at their condo in Miami.
9. Abraham Lincoln and Edwin Stanton dream of opening up a launderette.
10. Abraham Lincoln may be president of the United States, but he doesn't know how he's gonna pay the rent.
For your consideration, Steven Spielberg!