Joshua Kamaka Alameda/Facebook

Gay Hawaiian Dad And His Two Sons Face Harassment, Stalking, Vandalism

"I just never had that type of experience before where I felt so helpless."

A father in Hawaii is desperate after his family has been the subject of harassment and vandalism because of his sexual orientation.

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Joshua Kamaka Alameda/Facebook

Joshua Kamaka Alameda came home to his house Sunday night and found his car and house spray-painted with the word “fag” and a crude drawing of a penis.

“There are no words the feeling you get when you’ve been victimized like that,” he told Hawaii News Now.

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Joshua Kamaka Alameda/Facebook

“I just never had that type of experience before where I felt so helpless. I immediately freaked out and called police.”

Alameda is a single father to two school-aged sons from a previous marriage, and says his children have been taunted for years because he’s gay.

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Joseph alameda/Facebook

It’s gotten so bad, he pulled them out of school two weeks ago—their fourth school in six years.

“I think administrators that don’t do anything about it are just as guilty as the perpetrators,” says Alameda, who has filed a lawsuit against the state Department of Education for failing to protect his children.

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“Until we can get teachers held accountable and administrators held accountable for not reporting and not following policy, then how am I to feel safe sending my children to school knowing that they’re not going to do anything when my son is called a faggot or a queer?”

Yesterday on Facebook, he recounted some of the ongoing harassment.

“[Since] last school year a child has harassed my son over and over. In April of this year, the same child masturbated in front of him on the bus and showed him pornography on his phone.”

NEW YORK, NY - JANUARY 15: A school bus is stopped while picking up a student in Manhattan's East Village on January 15, 2013 in New York City. Drivers of the city's school buses are set to go on strike tomorrow after negotiations with Mayor Michael Bloomberg failed to reach an agreement; over 150,000 children will need to find an alternate method of transportation to school.  (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)
Mario Tama/Getty Images

The bully, who routinely calls his son “faggot,” and “queer,” also allegedly followed his son home once. Administrators said their hands were tied because it didn’t happen on school grounds, but a judge issued mutual restraining orders.

The same bully has reportedly been put on emergency suspension for bringing ammunition to school.

Alameda will spend Saturday, his day off from the car dealership where he works, trying to scrape the obscenities off his house and automobile. But the damage to his family is ongoing.

He closes his Facebook post with a question.

“[I’m] asking for advice from other parents out there. How would you handle this?… All I want is a safe all inclusive learning environment for my children that has a zero tolerance for harassment of this magnitude. Is this too much to ask for?”

Dan Avery is a writer-editor who focuses on culture, breaking news and LGBT rights. His work has appeared in Newsweek, The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Advocate and elsewhere.
@ItsDanAvery